Love & affection among siblings should be encouraged as it opens the heart to love & empathy which future spouses will gain from. Notice the hard looks on the faces of those Arewa men whose wives are dancing ( I don't support those videos though) the men look very uncomfortable.
This is a resultant effect of a culture that limits every affection to the bedroom & is the reason why many marriages fail. People find it difficult to display affection even behind closed doors because rigidity is so much entrenched in our hearts.
The prophet SAW admonished a man who was surprised at SAW's public display of affection to his grandsons. SAW asked him if he doesn't kiss his children, to which he answered no. SAW told him his heart is hard & Allah has no mercy for a hardened heart.
SAWs visits his daughterFatima at all times & once even sat on the bed she & her husband Ali were lying on. SAW was a very emotional human who was quick to spread love even with the kids of others i.e the boy he fondly called Abu Umayr or the orphan boy he escorts to play
Why are we quick to change parts of our culture that favours us & resist others. We can't be selective, it's either we fully follow the Sunnah or stick to culture. Teach your children unconditional love, empathy & encourage them to be expressive of their feelings.
When love is limited to courtship a society falls into dire straits & these may be reasons why some men feel inclined to find a new love every few years because the rigidity has killed the one at home & will kill the new one soon as she becomes a wife & boss ego overrules love.
A sister or daughter is not only the girl who makes & serves you food, not only the girl you bully & who cleans your mess. You, the first men in her life should be the first to teach her the qualities to look out for in a man & the kind of treatment to expect from a future spouse
So let us promote love in our homes, in our relationships, let us be tolerant of others because your own ways are definitely lacklustre. If you think display of affection can only be associated with sex I know why. It's because it's been limited to the bedroom by most parents.
Where any little thing including harmless jokes a hug will be met by super stiff father's with "ke yara na kallo fah". Sometimes these same elderly men will do nonsensical things with side chicks outside while the wives are starved of affection.
Girls are naturally expressive unless curtailed. We have to teach our sons to also be expressive at a young age. This generation should aspire to fix the north not to continue with the cultural codes of conduct that cause more harm than good.
Let love lead the way, always!
Let love lead the way, always!
@threadreaderapp Please unroll
