Thread by @CallumHeinrich

Being Bisexual:
A Thread.
💗💜💙

“Do you realise you’ll never be happy.” Was the response one of my closest ‘friends’ at the time said when my 15 year old self finally plucked up the courage to tell him. “If you’re with a girl you’ll always want a guy or if you’re with a guy you’ll always want a girl.”

I can still remember everything about this moment. I remember because this moment branded its mark in my head and shaped the way I loved for years. It ruined so many relationships because I would second guess everything and tell myself “I’m never going to be happy.”

And if I’m never going to be happy what the point? “Nahh, you’re gay. We’ve all known it for ages mate.” But I’m not? It’s hard to explain how I feel but I’ve been with both men and women and felt the same sparks. But they are demanding I give them a label.

“What the f*** am I” a question I remember standing in front of a mirror, eyes red, fists clenched staring at a body I hated and a mind that wouldn’t stop running and pumping anxiety and anger into every corner of myself. What am I?

I was 15, tearing myself to shreds and becoming a monster. All because I felt a demand to announce to the world who I was. Years passed, I had various experiences with both sex’s. Some great, some horrendously awkward, some extremely bad.

When I got to university, I entered into a relationship with a female and when news got out that I was Bisexual all happened again, A relapse of rumours and questions. A girl asked her “How are you with him? Aren’t you worried he’s just going to cheat on you? I couldn’t do it.”

Being with someone who identifies as bisexual doesn’t increase your chances of being cheated on. Being with someone who is a shitty person increase your chances of being cheated on. We are only ever represented as confused or sex crazed anti-monogamists and this is so toxic.

“But which do you prefer?”
“What’s your percentage?”
“But you have a girlfriend?”
“But you have a boyfriend”
“So you want three ways.”
“You don’t exist”
“You’re just horny.”
“I couldn’t trust you.”
“You’re just greedy.”

These are all what people have said to me.

“if you want to make a human being into a monster, deny them, at the cultural level, any reflection of themselves.” - Junot Díaz

There is a reason I’m sharing these experiences and that is to let you, whoever you may be that you are not alone.

I was and am still told “It’s just a phase” but believe me when I say, being yourself is not a phase.
I’m sharing this as growing up I had no one who was openly Bisexual I could look up to. I never saw myself represented thus I never understood myself.

I know I’m not much but I want you to know a few things:
1. LOVE YOURSELF. You enter and leave this world with one person, yourself. So no matter your mood, no matter the time, no matter the circumstances, LOVE YOURSELF.

2. YOU ARE NOT ALONE. I felt so alone growing up with my sexuality as I didn’t know any who was but I was so lucky to have the friends I had growing up (@iamharryevans I’m looking at you) but there is a whole community of LGBTQ+ humans who are a family for one another.

3. YOU DO NOT OWE AN EXPLANATION TO ANYONE. Society has such a craving to label you and know who/what you are. But you don’t owe any label or explanation to anyone. You are fu**ing beautiful just the way you are. Just be true to who you are and the rest will come.

The only reason I label myself is so that kids growing up and exploring who they are know that there are people out here like them. And know that there is a name for them if they need it to understand how they feel.

4. BE KIND. All the examples I have given are because the words these people said are tattooed on my memories. All these examples are words that hurt me but also shaped me into who I am and all I want is to educate people so that kids growing up don’t face the same.

Don’t be afraid to ask questions! It’s so much better to have a dialogue with someone willing to talk about bisexuality than imprinting your statements on them about what you think it is. Words can really shape us so please be kind, in every you say and do.

And finally, to the boy who said I’ll never be happy I say this:

I will be happy.
Because I’m myself.
And I love myself.

For anyone who wants to learn more, or needs support here are some great places:

@MindCharity
mind.org.uk/information-su…

@LGBTfdn
lgbt.foundation

@stonewalluk
@samaritans
@switchboardLGBT

#bisexual #pride #LGBTQ