Umalume Nobhala Profile picture
Jun 6, 2020 17 tweets 6 min read Read on X
1/16 #NdebeleTwitter Nansi iThread yenu: Ressurection Attempt

Phela uMthwithi is a Jack of many trades. Ngapha ngu M.C Wabantu, ngale li Dombo For Hire, ngale ngu Director we Foundation kanasinga but this thread is about isayi lesifundisi. I know lijayele labana ababhowayo Image
2/16 So, one day, phakathi kobusuku, I receive a call. Ngangisayelusa inkomo zikababa, ngangcothuna ngaphendula ifoni. Phela isfundisi is a 24hr job. Ngizwe 'Mfundisi, unasikeni kasekho. Uthe engafa libuye lizomvusa'. Pheliyani ubuthongo. Laliyani itasika! Image
3/16 Ngajabula ngafa. Phela if a mzalwane calls you for a task it means uyakholwa ukuthi umfundisi wakhe uyasotha. I was happy to pray for isidumbu. Vele ibhayibhili liyakuvuma. Inkosi ayikuphi okungaphezu kwamandla akho. Ngazibona sengisithi 'Lazaro vuka' Image
4/16 Smoko manje, unlike oTwabaam labo Papa nasikeni angila mota. Libogcina abafundisi benu mani. So I call the family with instructions. Lingasusi isdumbu lapho ngize ngifike. Yes Papa. Lingabizi oNyaradzo benu. Yes Man of God. Ngiyabuya ekuseni. Amen Prophet. Ngawuz'umoya Image
5/16 Ngavuka ekuseni, ngageza, ngalunga, ngayabangena. I was feeling it ukuthi hayi lapha ngiblind. I felt like Major 25, Prophet, Papa, Apostle and even uNgwenya obhombayo. All in one! Wawubona nge Nayi Ie Walk ukuthi nangu umgcotshwa, iNceku Image
6/16 Fikiyani endlini okufele umuntu khona. Ama settings akhona Hayi mani! Sekulelembu elibomvu kudala. Omasamjuju sebepheka emlilweni. Umafona takes me to uAnti wakhe and introduces me. She gave me that mbungulu look angani ngizkakele. Asilandaba EsiAnti. Silande izozo Image
7/16 To my utter shock, am told isidumbu asisekho endlini. Sesithethwe ngabako Doves. Maa? Is that so? Ngahle ngabona ukuthi lapha akuladili lapha. Abalaleli abantu laba. My guy wokufona wangiqinisa. Papa I still believe. Nxa umfana engi bhiga kumele lami ngibhigeke Image
8/16 We then proceeded saqonda koDoves. Kodwa abantu bahamba bezifonelela izihlobo bebazisa ngemfa. I felt yeyiswad. How could they, mina ngisiyamvusa. We get there. Sicele ukubona isdumbu. For the why sona sibuye namuhla. Umfana athi Umfundisi uzosivusa. Doves guy is like Aaaah Image
9/16 Eventually, sihanjiswe emosha. Uvandemu manje aqalise ukuthi du du du. Yazi ngezwa ngiqhuqha izibunu, amajoint esiba weak. I didn't know what to expect. So ingqondo yangenza umfana omncane. But we have not been given the Spirit of fear. Ngaqunga iLiver Image
10/16 Awu Jesu! Basiphe isidumbu. umemba wako Doves athi usayawothamela ilanga phandle. Kuyaqanda emosha bojo. I could see him watching at an angle. I pray for the body. Ngithi ngiyambamba umuntu uwome kere. Ngaze ngamqoqoda to confirm. Ko ko ko. Libroiler. Yini le Father God? Image
11/16 Umemba wako Doves ungikhangele ngekhona yelihlo, fascinated. Kimi it's now mtshutshutshu. Ngenzeni. Ngimwothamelise ilanga ancibilike? Uyavuka njani umuntu efrozile. Ngicele iheater? Ngenzeni. Sengipaparika khathesi. Umafona athi I believe Papa! Hayi suka! Image
12/16 In the midst of it all, umemba kaDoves angene. Taps me ehlombe abuze, Bhudas liyake liyitshune inzem leyi? Bhudas ku Man of God? What kinda delela is this? I tell him, yizinto zami lezi. we speak things that are not as though they were. It will work you wont work. Simple! Image
13/16 Umember abuyele espothini sakhe ayekuthi kho! Vele he wants to see ukuthi kuyaphetha ngani. Ngapha umdala kamemba ofileyo laye sevalelisa umntanakhe. Pho mina ngithandazelani? Ngingedwa phela la. Kushubile. Ku tense. Ku wawu Image
14/16 Ngisathi ngiyathandaza thutshu umemba wako Doves. Eh bhudas, how far? Sevukile yini umafana? Hawu kodwa Jesu mntaka Maria lumuntu ungizwani kodwa. I cant concentrate. Pressure is too much. Yi customer service bani yonale vele Image
15/16 Umdala kamufi laye has lost patience. Athi kimi Mfundisi lokhu kuyehlula. Akumcelele kuphela indlela aye ezulwini. Ukufa yisikhathi. My god'emgodini. Sengicenta indlela? Woo nhai? I understood why abantu bexotshwa nxa kuvuswa umuntu. Bayakukhipha esimembeni Image
16/16 Eventually umuntu wako Doves athi Bhudi phumani lapha sizosebenza asilandanga ukuzodlala lapha! What kind kanti? Tail inbetween legs. Ngaphosa ngathengisa ibhayibhili. UJesu wangenela wangiduduza bojo.
Happy Sabbath!
End Image
Selingathumela phela ama ofaling enu. Phela ku Lockdown labafundisi bayatarama... kkkkkk Image

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More from @UncleMthwithi

Jan 13, 2021
1. Chronicles of an Exiled Citizen
A thread

One thing that our people must be liberated from is fear. Fear of the known & unknown. Fear of the assumed. Generally, most of our people are both slaves and prisoners to fear. Fear rules us. Decisions we make are based on our fears
2. After the July 28 break-in at our home, alot of our people have distanced themselves from us. They feel that should it be known that they are related to us or connected to us, they will be vulnerable and the state will attack them in our stead
3. Some do not take our calls anymore. They believe the State has a way of using the calls to trace them. I gave one guy my contacts via a secure platform. He gave me his. Immediately an unknown number called him. Me thinks it was coincidence. He thinks it was someone snooping
Read 17 tweets
Oct 22, 2020
1. After Dr Dumiso Dabengwa died and the family successfully snubbed a heroes acre burial as per his wishes and the presidency snubbed his funeral, many ZPRA cadres have made me custodian of their burial wishes via wills and commissioned statements...
2. They complain about how government ignores them in life, lets wallow in poverty and be harangued by hunger only to give them Grand Funerals. Dr Dabengwa used alot of his resources to assist them. After he passed on many have remained neglected
3. I generally, enjoy spending time with leaders of different stages of periods of our history and now. Veterans & Chiefs are my favorite though. The stories, the honest criticism, the humour and the wisdom is amazing. After about 3 months in exile, I called some to touch base
Read 6 tweets
Sep 22, 2020
#NdebeleTwitter herewith Season 2, Episode 1 of #UmnxebaWodumo.

My Hillside Experience

It all began when I met uGalvin. Sagidla sonke eMoray but yena yilezana ezazingaboni nex. So he tells me he is now a waiter. Phela bragging about jobs is the new ntenene bragging contest Image
2. Nxa sifika ku parking he gets into a very expensive car. Ngangenwa yingubhane madoda. This guy owayekopa Kimi ama Corrections is now driving this sexy thingumabob? Zimbabwe ilesono shame. My ego was sodomised I tell you. He saw it and said, don't worry call me. I can help you Image
3. After serious thought, ngimfonele after 3 days. He tells me ukuthi akwenzi ukuthi sikhulume over the phone. I must go to his work place siyexoxela khona. I just cudnt believe it! Galvin wama ansa arongo now has power to call me to his office? Kunzima bo Jo Image
Read 17 tweets
Sep 2, 2020
Herewith Thread 4 of my experiences #ChroniclesofHope

Thread 4: The Bad days.

Being in hiding is a game of mental strength and for those whose backbones are clad with iron. Especially those of us who want to go home and not to Europe
#NdebeleTwitter
#ZimbabweanLivesMatter Image
2. The 1st days are bad. Anxiety. Worry and concern over the well-being of the family. At some point I went for 4 straight days without eating, worried about my children. I just can't believe I can be this helpless and watch them bullied. A friend sent this about Cde Umile Image
3. The worst is that in the day that the State goes rogue even relatives blame you for it. They castigate us for 'ukuqala iZanu'. Very few want to assist. Majority does not want any contact lest they are endangered. To get a relative to house my family was a futile effort
Read 13 tweets
Aug 30, 2020
Herewith Thread 2 of My experiences #ChroniclesofHope
Thread 2: Temple Run, Ferret enablers.

So the guy who led the Ferret Team to my house is Tapiwa Moyo of Nkulumane. We have failed to get his photo but we will give infor that will enable all of us to look for his photo
2. This Tapiwa at one point was a member of Joice Mujuru's Party Zimbabwe People First. He wanted to be Bulawayo Province chair person and had a serious fued with one Esnath Bulayani over the post. He has been deployed to Spy on Jabulani Sibanda former War Veterans chair
3. So a few days before they attacked, we got Intel to the effect that he has been deployed to follow me around and confirm where I stay. Sure enough he was monitoring my movements. He didn't know I notice him or that I know him. I played along. Then one day I made a grave error
Read 10 tweets
Aug 30, 2020
As promised herewith the thread about my experiences. #ChroniclesofHope
Thread 1: The Clouds Gather

It all started with a WhatsApp Chat below on the 1st of May. This is 2 months before the July 31 Demonstrations was announced. At this point nothing suggested that am in danger
2. Everything was normal in the Zim sense way. Somehow, this message confirmed with my spirit. Something was afoot in the horizon and God warned me through someone I least expected. I needed to start preparing for that fateful day
3. I had seen how @JoeMzacaNgulube had been in activism & remained unknown in these streets. I decided to grow my Following. I had 386. I changed my content and used my other talents: Humour and Storytelling via #UmnxebaWodumo. I also embraced #NdebeleTwitter. I grew to over 2k
Read 21 tweets

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