Okay friends, it's a fucked-up night for a lot of people on here who are seeing conversations about abuse and exploitation so let's check in and make sure we're taking care of ourselves and staying safe. This will not be comprehensive, but it's my best go:
Are you breathing? It's easy to freeze up and hold your breath when you're feeling activated. Try to make a little more space for breath if you can. If you're able, inhale for 3, hold for 4, and exhale for 5.
Where are your shoulders? Are they up around your ears? If you can, try to push them back and down. Gently stretch your neck - let your chin drop toward your chest, then roll your ear toward your shoulder, then go back the other way.
Can you feel your hands? If they're numb, consider running your wrists under some warm water. (I personally use very hot water, but that's risky because you can burn yourself. Don't be like me. I'm a bad example.)
Feel the water on your fingertips. You're here and you're safe.
Feel the water on your fingertips. You're here and you're safe.
If you're sighted: Look around the room you're in. Can you name all the things that are green? All the things that are red? All the things that look shiny? If you do that out loud, you can help remind your brain of where you are: in a safe place that you know and understand.
If you can, put your feet on the floor. Feel the place where they meet the ground. That's gravity, and it's holding you firm and steady wherever you are.
If you can, press your hands or back against a wall, hard. Things around you are solid and reliable.
If you can, press your hands or back against a wall, hard. Things around you are solid and reliable.
If you can, look away from your screen for the next couple of minutes. Look at the sky or the horizon or a plant or an animal. Biophilia is a strong thing in your brain, and looking at those things will remind it that the world is big and contains things other than harm.
Can you drink some very cold water? For many people, the act of swallowing water makes your brain happy, and the shock of a very different temperature is a good way to get you out from between your ears. Your body is a living, dynamic thing that is keeping you safe as it can.
Are you biting your lip or digging your fingernails into your skin? Try to stop, take a pause. Make yourself yawn, or stretch out your fingers. If you're able, scrunch up your face and then stretch it out far as you can. You don't have to be frozen. There are no tigers here.
If your heart is beating hard&fast as a result of anxiety, find a source of cool water. You can submerge your face, or you can soak a washcloth in cool water & cover your face for 30s. Try holding your breath if that's safe for you. Your heart rate and blood pressure should drop.
Cross your arms over your chest, resting your fingers on your opposite shoulders. Tap your left shoulder, wait 2 seconds, tap your right shoulder. Repeat: tap, one, two, tap, one, two, tap. Primates do this in the wild to self-soothe. (Fair warning, it usually makes me cry.)
Check back in on your breathing, your shoulders, your jaw. If you're able, stretch your arms high over your head. Try to smile for thirty seconds, even if it makes you feel like a space alien. This is all brain trickery; don't worry if it feels wrong and weird.
Last thing: stay on top of your body's schedule. Have you given it water and food at regular intervals? Have you showered? Brushed your teeth? Flossed? Flossing sucks, but it's very grounding, because you're never more present in your human body then when you're flossing.
It's not always going to feel like this. The nausea will fade; your heartbeat will calm down; you will be able to breathe and feel your own body again in the future.
It's okay to feel the way you feel, and also, this feeling isn't forever.
Take care, friends.
It's okay to feel the way you feel, and also, this feeling isn't forever.
Take care, friends.
