In this moment of Everyone Stocking Up On Everything, an important thing to watch for in your home (and especially your kitchen): Tiny. Brown. Moths.
If you see one of these fuckers in your home, take action immediately. They're pantry moths and they want to make babies in your pandemic stockpile. 
Here's how you respond to pantry moths:
1. Seething, incoherent rage
2. Go through your dry goods. All of them. Look for caterpillars, cocoons, and strands of silk. If you see grains seeming to float in midair, they're probably caught on silk.
1. Seething, incoherent rage
2. Go through your dry goods. All of them. Look for caterpillars, cocoons, and strands of silk. If you see grains seeming to float in midair, they're probably caught on silk.
3. Throw out anything with a bug or silk in it. Don't bother trying to pick out cocoons; anywhere there is silk, there are eggs. So many eggs. And eggs turn into motherfucking caterpillars.
4. More rage. Animal rage. Give in to it.
4. More rage. Animal rage. Give in to it.
5. Put dry goods in airtight containers. Now is the time to save every jar to store tea, pasta, flour, nuts. No cardboard box will save you from the caterpillars.
6. Wipe down every surface in your pantry and cupboard with bleach. Get into the crevices. D e s t r o y t h e m
6. Wipe down every surface in your pantry and cupboard with bleach. Get into the crevices. D e s t r o y t h e m
7. If you can, put your dry goods in the freezer for a few days. It kills any hidden eggs.
8. ...find a way to be cool with the idea of accidentally eating moth eggs sometimes
8. ...find a way to be cool with the idea of accidentally eating moth eggs sometimes
9. If you DON'T have moths yet, please seriously consider preventing them by putting everything in airtight, sealing containers. You don't want your emergency hoard of rice crispies to become a caterpillar palace.
This is a small-but-big thing. And, tbh pantry moth hunting and prevention is a great outlet for your COVID19 stress. It gives you that I'm Doing Something Important feeling, and it sterilizes a lot of surfaces, and it lets you give in to the R A G E.
Go fucking get 'em.
Go fucking get 'em.
YES THIS, lure them to the killing place with pretend amorous invitations
I just took my own advice and did a complete check of my cupboards. (There were moths in the fucking tortellini. RAGE.) It turned out to be a perfect opportunity to inventory! I now have a complete list of the nonperishable and frozen foods that I can cook with while we isolate.
