Thread by @ASlavitt

COVID Update June 25: The story of Trump & Coronavirus has already been written.

But the stories of DeSantis, Abbott & Ducey could be a Shakespeare play. 1/

Three Dukes, vying for the favor of the King, see who can sacrifice the peasants in the realm rather than call the King a liar. 2/

The Dukes each had many chances to stop a great plague. Other Dukes told them “this plague is terrible. People die. Many suffer. But you can prevent it. Wear the masks. Be careful.”

But the King said there was nothing to worry about. And so they laughed off the other Dukes. 3/

One Duke decides to let the plague roam over his swampy lands and beaches. But instead of plague, he records each death as “tummy ache.”

The King likes that. 3/

That Duke has a faithful servant who builds a “portal” so that the plague can be understood by “scientists” (very unwelcome in the kingdom).

The Duke makes sure she is fired to send a message to all other servants. Only tummy aches here.

The King likes that. 4/

The second Duke with the big hat & the not so smart Lieutenant Duke decided that all the elders must perish so oil could flow & shopping could commence at “the Galleria.”

The King likes that. He believes that will help him draw the biggest crowds in history. 5/

The second Duke allows the beds to fill & fill with people with the plague. He may be worried but then again he loves freedom. And he wants to be the King’s favorite. 6/

The third Duke lives in the desert. He was building a giant wall for the King. With the other dukes, he laughed at the “media” saying the plague wasn’t bad in the desert & if it got bad, there were always “ventilators.”

Very sentimental. 7/

People in the realm begged and pleaded. Begged and pleaded that there would be no place to put all the sick people.

So eventually the Duke relented and had a news conference. 8/

Even as the hospitals filled, the Duke puffed up his chest & welcomed the King to come & help the plague spread. He was pretty happy to show how much he looked down on other people. 9/

But when the plague got worse & worse as everyone had told them, the Dukes started to worry. What had they done?? People were getting sicker & no where to put them.

The King laughed & ordered them to stop finding out who had the plague & who was spreading the plague. 10/

The Dukes were scared, yelling loudly that there was a bad plague.

But now the Dukes were out of favor. They were making the King look bad. The king did not like looking bad (even though the king did not actually look very good TBH). 11/

The Dukes were mini-versions of the King. They could never admit they had made giant, enormous, arrogant mistakes. They each thought they would be king one day. 12/

But because they were each assholes in their own way, no one was very sympathetic that they could have prevented the plague from spreading. 13/

The dukes were not cut out for this kind of stuff. They only wanted to be dukes to show they could take health care & schooling away from people. This was not supposed to happen. 14/

The dukes would be smart to leave town before they are run out. /end