Thread by @sirnucy

'Aqd and Walīmatu'n-Nikāh in perspective

1. 'Aqd (عَقْدٌ) literally means 'a bond', 'a covenant' or 'a contractual agreement'. Its plural is عُقود. In Qur'ān 5:1, Allāh says, يَا أَيُّهَا الَّذِينَ آمَنُوا أَوْفُوا بِالْعُقُودِ "O believers! Fulfil your contract obligations..."

2. A trade contract between a seller and a prospective buyer is an 'aqd. Similarly, a business agreement between two partners (as in partnership business) is also an 'aqd.

When prefixed to 'Nikāh', as in 'aqdun-Nikāh', it connotes 'Marriage contract/solemnization'.

3. It's a simple religious rite performed by the father of the prospective bride, his designate or her male guardian (paternal) or her son, according to the ترتيب الأولياء). It requires no ceremony or pomp. It's simply an acceptance of marriage proposal by the prospective groom.

4. زَوَّجْتُكَ بِنتِي فُلانَةَ "I've married my
so and so daughter to you", or any other expression that implies consent. It doesn't necessarily require the presence of any Alfa for officiation. The bride's father can conduct the 'Aqd all by himself. Simple and straightforward.

5. Walīmah (وَلِيمة) on the other hand connotes 'a feast'. It's defined literally as,

الوليمة أو المائدة تعني اجتماع مجموعة من الأشخاص الذين يعرفون بعضهم جميعاً أو يعرفون أحد الأشخاص في هذه الدعوة لتناول الطعام، غالباً بغرض الاحتفال أو لهدفٍ آخر

6. "A gathering of a group of people who are known to each other or who know one of the congregation for the purpose of eating food. Mostly, such occasions are as a result of celebration or for some other reasons.."

7. When prefixed to Nikāh, as in Walīmatu'n-Nikāh (وَلِيمة النكاح) or (وليمة العِرس), it implies, 'a wedding feast'. In contemporary usage, it's otherwise known as wedding reception. (I detest the usage of the term though, given that most ceremonies are largely 'unislamic').

8. According to the Sharī'ah, 'aqdun-Nikāh is a compulsory rite for it's what confers legality on marriage contracts. This is the express meaning of the words of Allāh, فَانْكِحُوهُنَّ بِإِذْنِ أَهْلِهِنَّ "Marry them with the permission of their family..." (4:25).

9. This is explained by the hadīth of 'Ā'isha رصي الله عنها, that the Messenger of Allāh ﷺ said:

" أيما امرأة نكحت بغير إذن وليها فنكاحها باطل فنكاحها باطل ، فنكاحها باطل

“Any woman who gets married without the permission of her waliyy, then her marriage is invalid.” (3x)

10. As for the Walīmatu n-Nikāh, it's Sunnah & not obligatory. Ibn Qudāmah said

لا خلاف بين أهل العلم في أن الوليمة سنة في العرس مشروعة، لما روي أن النبي صلى الله عليه وسلم أمر بها وفعلها. فقال لعبد الرحمن بن عوف، حين قال: تزوجت: أولم ولو بشاة. وليست واجبة في قول أكثر أهل العلم

11. "There's no difference of opinion among the scholars on the Walīmatu n-Nikāh being a non-obligatory act based on the report that the Prophet ﷺ said to 'Abdurrahmalān bn 'awf, after he informed him about his marriage, "organize a feast, even if it's with just one sheep".

12. (Ibn Qudāmah thus continues discussion on this matter) until he said, and (the walīmah of Nikāh) is NOT compulsory in the view of most of the scholars.

Simply put, while 'aqdun-Nikaah is compulsory and inevitable, the Walīmatu' n-Nikāh is not.

13. Organizing the wedding feast is primarily the duty of the groom at his convenience. In the hadīth of 'Abdurrahmān bn 'awf cited earlier, the instruction was clearly directed at him. The Prophet said, “May Allāh bless you. Give a walīmah even if it is with just one sheep.”

14. Shaykh Ibn ‘Uthaymīn said: "The walīmah is prescribed for the husband, because the Prophet said to ‘Abdurrahmān: “Give a walīmah,” & he did not tell his in-laws to do that. And because the blessing is greater for the man because he is the one who sought the woman;

15. it is very rare for the woman to seek the man."

Al-Sharh al-Mumti’, 12/321

It's important to emphasize this point because most (bride's) parents seem to NOT know this Sharī'ah. They assume that it's their right to dictate the when & how a wedding feast should take place &

16. put a lot of burden on their son-in-law. This needs to change if they desire a blissful marriage for their daughters. There's no harm if both families jointly organise it, but to start bullying the groom into reckless spendings is repugnant to justice & good conscience.

17. The most appropriate time for organizing the Walīmatu n-Nikāh is immediately after consummation of marriage. That is, after the first ever sexual intercourse between the newlyweds. Shaykh bn Taimiyyah said:

ووقت الوليمة في حديث زينب وصفته تدل على أنه عقب الدخول. انتهى.

18. "The time for organizing the walīmah, according to the hadīth of Zaynab bint Jahsh is after consummation."

وجاء في مغني المحتاج: والأفضل فعلها بعد الدخول لأن النبي صلى الله عليه وسلم لم يولم على نسائه إلا بعد الدخول. انتهى...

19. "Its also mentioned in 'Mughnī al-Muhtāj', 'and the most appropriate time to organize the walīmah is after consummation because the Prophet never arrange a walīmah for any of his wives until after consummation."

وفي مختصر خليل في الفقه المالكي: الوليمة مندوبة بعد البناء،

20. قال في الشرح الكبير على مختصر خليل: والمعتمد أن كونها بعد البناء مندوب ثان فإن فعلت قبله أجزأت. انتهى

It's mentioned in 'Mukhtasar al-Khalīl' (a principal book on Maaliki fiqh), "The walīmah is prescribed after consummation." It's said in 'Ash-Sharh al-Kabīr, a commentary

21. on Mukhtasar al-Khalīl', "the position of the Madh-hab is that the waleemah should come after consummation. However, if it were done before then, that suffices."

Thus, if one chooses to hold it before consummation, there's nothing wrong with that, too.