Thread by @sirnucy

INTRODUCTION WITHOUT 'AQD: A LEGALIZATION OF FORNICATION

#Introduction

1. Sex is one of the natural instincts created by Allāh in all His living creatures. For human beings, the urge to mate is aroused as soon as they attained puberty. Being an inevitable natural instinct,

2. Islām has neither placed a total ban on sex by promoting monasticism, nor has it permitted sexual indulgence without restrictions, thereby promoting adultery, fornication and prostitution. Rather, it has designed certain mechanisms to check the abuse of sex in order to

3. protect man's chastity against unholy acts such as bestiality and homosexuality.

Islām advocates الوَسَطِيَّة (moderation) in everything so much that it condemns both الإِفْراط (extremism) and التَّفْرِيط (laxity). If one studies the injunctions of the Sharī'ah carefully,

4. one will realize that they are tailored towards making life easier for the believers by lessening their burdens of obligations and providing them with exceptional clauses out of every difficulty. The institution of marriage is a divine immunity to protect the believer from

5. self-destruct and also safeguard the 5 fundamental objectives of the Sharī'ah which are:

#Protection_of_life: A Zānī may likely lose his life to sexual promiscuity. By jumping from one woman to another, he risks contacting Sexually Transmitted Diseases and ultimately death.

6. In typical African societies, many adulterous folks have contacted "thunderbolts" from their concubines which have led to their death. Some people have also died during a sex romp after allegedly consuming aphrodisiacs. With marriage, shameful deaths are avoidable.

7. #Protection_of_the_religion: Abū Hurayrah reported that the Prophet ﷺ
said: "A fornicator who fornicates is not a believer as long as he commits fornication." What this statement implies is that the fornicator sheds some megawatts of faith whenever he indulges in the act.

8. Marriage will help protect his religion from total collapse. It is why the Prophet ﷺ said, "whoever marries has satisfied half of his faith..."

#Protection_of_the_intellect: Zinā messes up the reasoning faculty of man and turns him into a beast. He becomes overwhelmingly

9. obsessed with it to the extent that whenever he sees the opposite gender, the only thing that comes to his mind is sex. Once he gets married, his mind becomes settled and his organs restrained.

10. #Protection_of_wealth: Marriage teaches one the practical aspect of economics and safeguards your wealth from unnecessary and wasteful spending. It inculcates you with a deep sense of responsibility and financial prudence and austerity.

11. #Protection_of_dignity_&_blood lineage: Marriage confers one with the right claim to paternity & parenthood. It grants one the right to lawful enjoyment of one's spouse, without the fear of exposure, pregnancy or disease. It also gives one the rightful claim to inheritance.

12. It is so unfortunate that this sacred institution is gradually being undermined & adulterated with unfounded traditions which have not only made it difficult for the youth to desire marriage, but has also opened a floodgate of opportunities to fornication without much ado.

13. #Episode_One

The practise of marriage in Islām is so easy & affordable & does not involve any physical, mental or psychological stress, or financial recklessness. It is very simple & straightforward. It does not allow room for any  crookedness, exploitation or extortion.

14. When a Muslim man desires a lady, he may approach her or approach her Waliy (her father or his wakīl (designate) or any of her paternal male relative (in the absence of her father due to death, difference of religion, or self disqualification

15. (for instance where the father rejects the suitor citing flimsy excuses such as tribal/racial difference, et cetera). Allāh says:

"And marry them by the permission of their guardians.." (Q. 4:25)

If he approaches her directly, and she desires him, she is expected to direct

16. she is expected to direct him to her waliyy will carry out a comprehensive assessment of the prospective suitor in terms of his religiosity, character, as well as lineage. Her waliyy may tell the suitor to return at an agreed date to hear the feedback from his findings,

17. before deciding what next to do. Within the period of the finding, no relationship whatsoever must exist between the two parties as they are still considered as strangers to one another. If on the other hand, he approaches her father directly, it is expected of him to make

18. adequate findings about the suitor as explained above before giving him a go ahead to talk to his daughter.

In any case, the lady, after making up her mind should do Istikhārah before/after accepting the proposal. Istikhārah is not done in a state of confusion/indecision.

19. It's HARĀM to approach anyone to check the spiritual compatibility or fortune of both prospective couples. Islām warns sternly against this. The Prophet ﷺ said, "Whoever approaches a soothsayer and asks him (about anything) will have his Salāt rejected for 40 days."

20. As soon as the lady's father is satisfied with the lineage, religiosity and character of the suitor, he should not waste time in inviting him over to meet his daughter whose consent is a major component of the contract. The Prophet (upon him be peace) said:

21. "If a man in whose religiosity and character you're pleased approaches you (seeks your daughter's hand in marriage), marry her to him, lest it becomes a great tribulation and corruption in the land."

22. The father is expected to guide & admonish her appropriately on this issue since she is still a virgin & grossly immature & inexperienced in marital matters. Her mother also provides all necessary moral support for her to help her manage marital challenges.

23. Immediately the lady informs her parents of her acceptance of his proposal, the next thing is to arrange a sitting where the 'Aqd will take place between them. 'Aqd is an Arabic word which means solemnization. It is also called Nikāh or Zawāj. The components of 'Aqd are:

24. The two contracting parties (either or both of them can be represented.);

* The Waliy (father of the lady or his designate or representative);

* At least two just witnesses (they could be members of both families or strangers);

* The Sadāq (dower).

25.
#Episode_Two
As far back as the 80s, and down to late 90s, wedding introduction as we see it today was not in vogue. Today, a lot of money is being spent on mere
frivolities in the name of wedding introduction without doing the proper 'aqd that makes the relationship

26. between the prospective couples legal. What we witness today is a
complete departure from the true Islamic norm and teachings. As I mentioned earlier, as soon as the
lady's father (or his designate/representative) agrees to the proposal, a formal sitting is expected to be

27. arranged between himself and the intending couple and a few people
(at least two just individuals, males or females) from either or both families (or even strangers) as witnesses. At the sitting, it is recommended for the lady"s father (or his designate/representative,

28. or the groom to be or
any of the witnesses around or anyone who he chooses to
officiate the occasion) to recite the Prophet's Khutbatul-Hājah. Shaykh bn Bāz wrote:

ﻓﺎﻟﻌﻘﺪ ﻳﺤﻀﺮﻩ ﺃﺭﺑﻌﺔ ﺍﻟﺰﻭﺝ ﻭﺍﻟﻮﻟﻲ ﻭﺍﻟﺸﺎﻫﺪﺍﻥ، ﻭﺍﻷﻓﻀﻞ ﺃﻥ ﻳﻜﻮﻥ

29. ﻗﺒﻠﻪ ﺧﻄﺒﺔ، ﺧﻄﺒﺔ ﺍﻟﻨﻜﺎﺡ ﻫﺬﺍ ﺍﻷﻓﻀﻞ ﻭﻫﻲ: ﺇﻥ ﺍﻟﺤﻤﺪ ﻟﻠﻪ ﻧﺤﻤﺪﻩ ﻭﻧﺴﺘﻌﻴﻨﻪ ﻭﻧﺴﺘﻐﻔﺮﻩ ﻭﻧﻌﻮﺫ ﺑﺎﻟﻠﻪ ﻣﻦ ﺷﺮﻭﺭ ﺃﻧﻔﺴﻨﺎ ﻭﻣﻦ ﺳﻴﺌﺎﺕ ﺃﻋﻤﺎﻟﻨﺎ، ﻣﻦ ﻳﻬﺪﻩ ﺍﻟﻠﻪ ﻓﻼ ﻣﻀﻞ ﻟﻪ، ﻭﻣﻦ ﻳﻀﻠﻞ

30. ﻓﻼ ﻫﺎﺩﻱ ﻟﻪ، ﻭﺃﺷﻬﺪ ﺃﻥ ﻻ ﺇﻟﻪ ﺇﻻﺍﻟﻠﻪ ﻭﺣﺪﻩ ﻻ ﺷﺮﻳﻚ ﻟﻪ، ﻭﺃﺷﻬﺪ ﺃﻥ ﻣﺤﻤﺪ ﻋﺒﺪﻩ ﻭﺭﺳﻮﻟﻪ. ﺛﻢ ﻳﻘﺮﺃ ﻗﻮﻟﻪ ﺗﻌﺎﻟﻰ: ﻳَﺎ ﺃَﻳُّﻬَﺎ ﺍﻟَّﺬِﻳﻦَ ﺁﻣَﻨُﻮﺍْ ﺍﺗَّﻘُﻮﺍْ ﺍﻟﻠّﻪَ ﺣَﻖَّ ﺗُﻘَﺎﺗِﻪِ

31. ﻭَﻻَ ﺗَﻤُﻮﺗُﻦَّ ﺇِﻻَّ ﻭَﺃَﻧﺘُﻢ ﻣُّﺴْﻠِﻤُﻮﻥَ، ﻳَﺎ ﺃَﻳُّﻬَﺎ ﺍﻟﻨَّﺎﺱُ ﺍﺗَّﻘُﻮﺍْ ﺭَﺑَّﻜُﻢُ ﺍﻟَّﺬِﻱ ﺧَﻠَﻘَﻜُﻢ ﻣِّﻦ ﻧَّﻔْﺲٍ ﻭَﺍﺣِﺪَﺓٍ ﻭَﺧَﻠَﻖَ ﻣِﻨْﻬَﺎ ﺯَﻭْﺟَﻬَﺎ ﻭَﺑَﺚَّ ﻣِﻨْﻬُﻤَﺎ ﺭِﺟَﺎﻻً

32. ﻛَﺜِﻴﺮًﺍ ﻭَﻧِﺴَﺎﺀ ﻭَﺍﺗَّﻘُﻮﺍْ ﺍﻟﻠّﻪَ ﺍﻟَّﺬِﻱ ﺗَﺴَﺎﺀﻟُﻮﻥَ ﺑِﻪِ ﻭَﺍﻷَﺭْﺣَﺎﻡَ ﺇِﻥَّ ﺍﻟﻠّﻪَ ﻛَﺎﻥَ ﻋَﻠَﻴْﻜُﻢْ ﺭَﻗِﻴﺒًﺎ، ﻭﻗﻮﻟﻪ ﺳﺒﺤﺎﻧﻪ :
ﻳَﺎ ﺃَﻳُّﻬَﺎ ﺍﻟَّﺬِﻳﻦَ ﺁﻣَﻨُﻮﺍ

33. ﺍﺗَّﻘُﻮﺍ ﺍﻟﻠَّﻪَ ﻭَﻗُﻮﻟُﻮﺍ ﻗَﻮْﻟًﺎ ﺳَﺪِﻳﺪًﺍ * ﻳُﺼْﻠِﺢْ ﻟَﻜُﻢْ ﺃَﻋْﻤَﺎﻟَﻜُﻢْ
ﻭَﻳَﻐْﻔِﺮْ ﻟَﻜُﻢْ ﺫُﻧُﻮﺑَﻜُﻢْ ﻭَﻣَﻦ ﻳُﻄِﻊْ ﺍﻟﻠَّﻪَ ﻭَﺭَﺳُﻮﻟَﻪُ ﻓَﻘَﺪْ ﻓَﺎﺯَ ﻓَﻮْﺯًﺍ ﻋَﻈِﻴﻤًﺎ

34. "Four people are required to be present at the 'aqd: The husband, the Waliy (bride's father), and, (at least) two witnesses. It is more preferable to recite the Khutbah of
Nikaah before the solemnization. The Khutbah goes thus.....
"All praise is due to Allah....."

35. After the recitation of this short speech (please, note that it is not compulsory but highly recommended), the father will now join the couple together by saying: ﺯَﻭَّﺟْﺘُﻚَ/ ﻭَﻫَﺒْﺘُﻚَ/
ﺃَﻋْﻄَﻴﺘُﻚَ/ ﺃَﻧْﻜَﺤْﺘُﻚَ /

36. ﻣَﻠَّﻜْﺘُﻚَ ﺍﺑْﻨَﺘِﻲ ﻓُﻼﻧَﺔَ (I have given my daughter (name must be mentioned) to you as wife. Immediately, the
would-be groom will respond by saying ﻗَﺒِﻠْﺖُ "I have accepted (her as my wife)".

37. Apart from the Khutbah which should be recited in Arabic, all other communications has to be in a language understood by the congregation (including sign
language). Both the offer and acceptance must be made in the past tense. Using present or future tense is not acceptable.

38. Once this is done, both contracting parties can now be referred to as husband and wife. Concerning the Sadāq, it can be paid by any of the following three means:
i. Upfront (completely);
ii. In installments (based on mutual agreement);
* Promise (to pay at an agreed date).

39. #Episode_Three

The practise of introduction before marriage as we witness it today leaves much to be desired. It is a tradition that is totally alien to Islām as it was neither known to, nor practised by the early generations of Muslims.

40. What is more worrisome is the fact that Alfas are usually involved (although not in all cases), and they do not admonish the people to do the 'aqd once and for all in order to make any further relationship between the two prospective couple legal according to the Sharī'ah.

41. They usually busy themselves with collecting huge sum money from the congregation while neglecting their primary responsibilities as spiritual leaders of the Ummah.

As explained earlier, there are two major areas of difference between 'Aqd and introduction:

42. i. Pronouncement of offer and acceptance: The would-be bride's father, his designate or representative, or whoever he chooses to take charge of the occasion must make sure that the offer and acceptance are well spelt out in clear and unambiguous terms as explained earlier.

43. It does not suffice to say, "this is Khadijah's husband", "these are Baseerah's in-laws", et cetera. That does not represent 'aqd in the Sharī'ah. The offer must be made publicly, & the groom must also pronounce his acceptance publicly (using past tense as explained earlier.)

44. ii. Payment of Sadāq: Since both parties are now married by virtue of the 'aqd and are free to enjoy sexual intimacy, it is best to allow the groom present the Sadāq to his wife. Today, many parents discourage the payment of Sadāq during introduction because they feel

45. that it's too early for that since there's still going to be an elaborate wedding later. As such, they force the couple into committing illicit sexual affairs without them realizing it. This is why a wedding introduction can never be considered as 'aqd, let alone replace it.

46. #Conclusion

In the previous episodes, I have been able to establish the fact that any coming together between the families of the two intending couple under the guise of introduction is a mere familiarization visit which neither confers any legality on the relationship

47. between the duo, nor the right to parade themselves as a couple. The only way to legalize the relationship is by conducting the proper 'aqd as explained earlier. Thus, even with all the gifts in cash and kind that are presented to the family of the would-be bride at the

48. introduction ceremony, the duo are still not recognized by the Sharī'ah as a couple and hence do not have the right to privacy and sexual intimacy. As soon as the proper 'offer and acceptance' has been done, the groom can now enjoy his wife sexually and otherwise.

49. I implore the Ulamā' who are usually invited to officiate the introduction ceremonies to admonish parents of the intending couples appropriately on why they should go beyond mere familiarization to conducting 'aqd in order to legalize the relationship between their wards.

50. Today, many of our Muslim sisters have been impregnated by their 'boyfriends' after the introduction ceremony because they think that they have become husbands and wives. And even those who are lucky not to become pregnant are indulging in fornication out of ignorance.

51. Furthermore, some parents who do not understand Islām properly usually stand in the way of the couples who wish to have the proper 'aqd done, citing various flimsy excuses. It should be known that the Waleemah (wedding feast) can still take place much later even after the

52. bride had conceived or given birth.

Stop legalizing fornication among the Muslim youths! It's shameful and ridiculous. Conduct the proper 'aqd and let them enjoy each other in a HALĀL manner.