Thread by @morvelaira

There's a phrase that entered my mother's lexicon as the impeachment of Bill Clinton progressed in the 90's:

"It don't matter what you've done, lying will only make it worse."

Myself, being in the thick of my teen years at the time, had that drilled into my head.

(1/21!!!)

As a result I rather think of myself as a poor liar, but that's neither here nor there.

But it's been on my mind deeply, lately, with the streaming industry going through it's own #MeToo moment. Because the core of this is not just about many bad apples doing sex crimes.

Don't misunderstand me: each and every story is something to make you feel sick to your stomach, and deserves justice. It's just not what I'm talking about.

What I'm talking about is this:

The entire games industry, top to bottom, has lied to us for years.

"Be part of the industry that gave you your dreams as a child. It's a safe, fun place to make a living, where anything you dream could be made."

We grown ups now know and accept it's a job like any other, that we can maybe find fun in, but coming in we all thought it was safe.

But it is so, so not safe.

Pushed out decades ago from the core of the industry - before most in it were born - women are most represented in this industry's fringes: streaming. A role that, while connected to the industry, really is one step in and one step in consumer land.

It feels like the frontier because it is so new, but it's really the edge. History and scholarship shows again and again: the fringes of any grouping is where victimization is normalized, and where the worst offences tend to be regular. Streaming is no different it seems.

As horrible as abusers and predators are, the fact these stories are all welling up at once shows another, more primal hurt that I've yet to see clearly articulated.

We've all seen victims say, "I just don't want it to happen to anyone else." While that's a textually accurate statement, what's the subtext?

"Stop lying. Stop lying to me and to yourself."

Stop lying to me when you say our industry is safe from sexual predators.

Stop lying to me when you say you'll hear me when I say what I see, what I've experienced.

Stop lying to both of us when you say you'd stop that stuff from happening.

Stop lying to yourself when you think those comments aren't really that bad.

Stop lying to yourself when you think that creep really isn't going to try anything with so many people around.

Stop lying to yourself when you say it's probably going to be fine if you don't get involved.

Because it isn't safe, it isn't ok, and it won't be, as things are now

In 1998, impeachment proceedings started against Bill Clinton not because he, as arguably the most powerful man in the world, coerced a young intern to give him a blowjob. They started because he lied under oath about it.

Method, arguably the most critical organization in the wider #WorldOfWarcraft social sphere, is imploding at this moment not because a core member was accused and investigated for sex crimes.

It's falling apart because the top knew, and actively buried the information.

That's just one specific example in the space currently. There are many more. And there will be many more, I'm sure.

Frustratingly enough, the closest thing to surprise I've seen is some good people out there overwhelmed at the amount of pain they're feeling from their empathy.

I've seen a little bit of surprise at any particular individual getting caught up in this, but not at the kind of thing that happened.

No one is surprised.

Stop lying to yourself that everything is ok.

So now that I've thoroughly bummed you (and myself) out, what do we do?

Make it better.

I don't want you to SAY that you're going to make it better, I don't want you to SAY that I'm safe with you.

I want to see you DO THE WORK.

Think about the way you do things in day to day life. How does that affect other people? Don't know? Do your research and ask.

Hold other people accountable to your standards. It may not sound fair, but it really is a step towards fairness for those left behind until now.

Call out that stranger at a con acting the creep or making a tasteless joke in public.

Do some deep soul searching with your friends when you see things from them that are not ok. If they won't let you see their inner lives, even a little, are they really friends?

Keep an open mind when someone tells you that you're doing something wrong. They're not out to get you, though the display of hurt or anger can make it seem that way.

Choose to do the right thing, every time you can ID what that is. EVERY TIME.

This won't be solved overnight. The aggregate of small things and decisions that led us here over decades will take an equally powerful aggregate of actions and decisions to move in a new direction. There is so grand act or fundraiser that can solve this.

But it can be done, and it doesn't have to be this instant, no matter how overwhelmingly urgent it feels.

Just so long as it is done. I truly believe that stopping lying to ourselves is the first step, and I've seen many people see through the lie this week.

Be good, in every moment you can.

That's it. That's the tweet.

FIN