Thread by @ItsUncleStephen

FUTO babes?!!!!

Brethren shall we?!!

I remember when we go ọta miri Bridge go rescue my cos of IMB babe..

Baba dey shout," take me take me!"

Take who werey? My friend Chop your L and drink eismann beer

Abi na for year 1 with my real man. Escorted him to town.. Baba spent his last card to buy a dress for his babe for freshers night. Dress, shoe, watch.

We reach freshers night, baba see him babe untop SUG FINSEC lap.

That's the night he picked up smoking.

Abi final year . My man dey win person win person 4-0 for PS, dey jubilate.

Meanwhile we dey for back, dey look Facebook, dey see baba babe dey jubilate for her traditional wedding pictures.

Babe wen just cook sweet Egusi for us 2 days ago.

"Baby I'm coming. I want to go and see my uncle in town"

Town ko, province ni
Uncle ko, niece ni

Mama golden boy don show Owerri dey hotel dey wait make she stain him brand with rigorous ofu aka.

FUTO babe go break your heart the weekend before exam.

You wen dey EEE, go dey waka go OPT exam hall cos omo dem don use your eye see something

FUTO babes?!

You go dey go manpower for morning see your babe, wen say she dey sleep around 9pm the precious night, dey zoom in on okada, from umuchima direction.

The water wen you wan fetch, go runaway your eye... Ayeeee ayeeeee

If you get school of health babe or SMAT babe for futo..Just forget am. Those ones are already married.

Worse still, na "bro CJ" wen dey always come town, na him dem dey marry..

na you go dey wonder, with tears in your eye, abi their village dey allow broda n sister marry?

Let me not even remember babes and SUG officials.

Director of transport, go dey transport your hard earned babe to cloud 9.

Dem go dey shout greatest gbogbo for outside whole dem dey gbogbo your babe.

Aluta tears go dey flow comot your eye wen you find out.

You go dey reason how to enter mama G, go chop your N200 total food or how to soak your ọtọ and survive till the next day.

Meanwhile a golden boy dey carry your babe enter sunic VIP section.

Try complain babe go look you like "Owunnabuike any problem?!"

L for Lekwam Jesus!

FUTO babe go break up with you like "it's not you, it's me"

Na you go dey argue no! Sandra it's me! I will do better.

Cos omo you sef know say if dem substitute you, babe bench strong die.

Cos if dem say you Yaya sanogo out, you know say Messi, Ronaldo plenty dey beg to in.

FUTO babe go dey form. Oh he's just my fellowship brother, meanwhile for off camp, bro chima and sister chinelo dey practise that biblical violence of the righteous, "dey take each other by force"

You sef go dey hear her dey shout OMG! think say kai! Prayer warriors! Meanwhile

FUTO babe: "My aunty is around. Let me quickly head to town"

Hey God! Ugochi! This is your 137th aunty now, how many sisters your mama really get forgossakes

Anyway no surprises say futo babes heartbreak dey pain.

Imagine hand wen dem use carry drawing board from Hall B to 750 Cap, dem use that same hand break your heart.

Very young man but your BP go too rise.

FUTO babe break up with my guy, with flimsy excuse, come get new boyfriend.

New BF dey the same level, same lodge, infact baba dey stay the next room.

For night my guy go dey hear him ex dey shout "Chike you're a man!"

Come dey wonder, so I be goat when we been dey date?

You go go hostel C go see your hot futo babe, dem go give you tally cos men wen dey queue plenty.

You no go fit vess go.

When dem call your number "number 245" na you go still shout present!, den fill log book, enter and state your case.

Wicked Hall C futo babes know who the real oga is. If you show up when oga dey her corner, oyo is your case.

You'll knock:"I want to see Nneka".

Friends: she's not around

You: I can hear her. She's there.

Friend: that's not her , that's her ghost, she's dead. Goodbye

You:

FUTO babe LOYL go do birthday e go be like black Friday. Gifts, cake, everywhere.

With different messages

"To the one I love"
"To my queen"
"To my sweetheart"

Nobody go tell you to hide your widows mite and chop your L with 2 futu, 1 meat, egusi and draw soup mixed.

I remember my guy, stayed past time at hostel D. Man ọ War caught him and asked him who he came to see..

Baba babe deny am flat "I don't know him oh"

Man ọ war give my guy some slaps and like 4 million frog jump.. Baba dey cry but we no know if na from heartbreak or the jump

Back in the day, If your futo babe say she dey go any of the following lodge to see a friend.. Bro dem don activate her release clause

Parliament
Glo Lodge
Ice box,
Executive,
Commissioners
Little Africa
Dominion City.

Or Koko mansion.

It's all over.

You go go class for 500 cap by 6.30 to keep seat for your futo babe, wen dey Chidi room for Eziobodo elu dey collect morning dosage of amụ.

Chidi go tell madam say you'll be late for class you won't see seat oh.

She go say don't worry donatus my seat guy will handle it

You:

OK, I think I'm done for the day.

FYI I love my FUTO women like no tomorrow.. This was pure bants, don't tight it to your chest. Hope yall had a good laugh. That was the plan.

Let me go back to hibernation. This was fun. Good good memories.

Stevhoe out!

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