This is a thread about accountability, apologies, and growth.
And that's okay.
What's sticky is what comes *after* we've been called out.
"But Sachi, then what are we supposed to say?!"
works as a template, I guess.
Intentions mean nothing without the proper delivery.
It sucks. But we hurt them, so that's why we own it.
But we must understand that being called out is good - it means we're being held to higher standards than we ourselves do.
Perhaps we believe it's not relevant to the conversation we're having today, but *that's* irrelevant. What's relevant is that the person who was hurt believes it is.
"I already apologized."
are not acceptable responses. Even if we feel like the call out is unwarranted, we owe that person our best self, and that's not reflected with gaslighting.
We must take a moment to remember we're not infallible.
And if we feel that that person is being abusive toward *us* this time, there are many ways to deal with it - but retaliation isn't one of them.
That's not growth, that's defensiveness. That's running.
Apologize. We owe that person an apology even if they don't owe us forgiveness. It's not fun - but we caused their pain.
Maybe we can explain how we've bettered ourselves.
But we never, ever, gaslight or dismiss them.
If this is too much - then we can block the person. It's preferable to block and move on, than to dismiss and gaslight. That's abuse.
And part of that journey is learning how to apologize, how to react, and how to bear the burden.
We must be the change we wish to see by holding ourselves accountable.
Love you all.