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The word शिवलिङ्ग (śivaliṅga) does NOT mean “genitals of Śiva”. The word लिङ्ग (liṅga) in this context means “a symbol, a mark”.

It started with Böhtlingk and Roth (1855) misleading by citing the Trikāṇḍaśeṣa and Medinī in giving the meaning of the word liṅga as

...
“das göttlich verehrte Geschlechtsglied Çiva's (Rudra’s), Çiva in der Form eines Phallus” (English: “The divinely revered sexual organ of Śiva (Rudra), Śiva in the form of a phallus”). However, both Trikāṇḍaśeṣa and Medinī give many meanings of the word “liṅga” and ...
... give “the male organ” and “Śiva’s murti” as two separate meanings. Without any basis, Böhtlingk and Roth, combined the two different meanings into one.

Monier Williams (1872) simply copied from Böhtlingk and Roth and gave a meaning of the meaning of “liṅga” as ...
“Śiva's genital organ or Śiva worshipped in the form of a Phallus”.

In sharp contrast, the Sri Lankan Buddhist commentator C A Seeakkhanda Maha Thera carefully explained the two different meanings separately in his commentary on the Trikāṇḍaśeṣa.
Note how the Śabdakalpadrumaḥ (1820) explains the word “liṅga” in the context of Śiva: शिवमूर्त्तिविशेषः, इति मेदिनी (English: “a specific form of Śiva, thus [says] Medinī”).

The Apte entry seems to be influenced by Böhtlingk-Roth or Monier-Williams.
On gender, शिश्न is masculine and लिङ्ग is neuter. This is fine, as gender of a word is determined by Liṅgānuśāsana rules and worldly use (लिङ्गमशिष्यं लोकाश्रयत्वाल्लिङ्गस्य). परिग्रह (masculine), कलत्र (neuter), पत्नी (feminine) all mean “the wife” but have different genders.
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