Thread by @kristenrchoi

It's been ~1 year since I started as an assistant professor. Over the summer, I've spoken with a number of other first-year APs in #nursing/#medicine/#publichealth, & it's made me reflect on the good & bad of year 1. 🧵below...

#AcademicTwitter #MedTwitter #NursingTwitter

1/ The job we signed up for is HARD in the best of times—& it turns out we signed ourselves up in the worst of times 🤦‍♀️

2/ 1) I spent *at least* the first 6 months feeling like I was spinning my wheels but getting nothing meaningful done. The sheer number of meetings, trainings, orientations, committees, conferences, seminars, lectures, events, etc. etc. etc. overran my calendar.

3/ In a rich academic environment where there will always be too many opportunities, my NO:YES ratio probably needs to get much higher.

4/ The pandemic took a toll on us all—and that includes mentors. The kind of mentoring I thought I would receive from senior folks & mentoring structures I thought would be in place just weren't there when we needed them most (albeit because of the pandemic, not ill intention!).

5/ Related to #2 - fortunately, mentoring gaps were filled by peers. The MOST IMPORTANT mentoring I received in year 1 was from fellow junior faculty and post-docs/PhD student friends, not senior mentors.

6/ We helped each other out and pushed each other forward in the absence of anyone else to fill that role. My academic friends have become my most valued resource and my go-to place for advice.

7/ Academia implicitly and explicitly discourages & de-values activism, advocacy, community engagement, & partnership building.  There's a strong push to hide, under-emphasize, or disengage from this work in the name of self-preservation—and that culture is to our detriment.

8/ The most common piece of advice I got from senior colleagues was to "Be selfish"—meaning (I think?) to protect your time and make sure you have what you need to advance your scholarship. I kind of get that this is well-intentioned... but also I kind of think it's terrible.

9/ Related to #3 - supporting others and being supported in return has been life-giving and necessary for me. We all need community—and community is, by nature, bi-directional. Please reframe this advice and think about the potentially harmful message it communicates.

10/ I *loved* teaching & interacting with students this year! I genuinely don't understand why it is talked about so negatively in academic medicine/nursing to people who have never even had a chance to try it. It was a pleasant surprise to discover how much I liked teaching.

11/ Practicing clinically as a nurse is the most valuable thing I do as a nursing academic (again despite discouragement!). It gives me critical perspective on my scholarship. I wish academic & health structures encouraged more nursing faculty to have a clinical practice.

12/ I am disturbed by how much energy we (1st year professors) spend on self-doubt, imposter syndrome, & pressure. I am SO proud of everything my colleagues & friends have accomplished this year IN A PANDEMIC and wish that was reflected in our perceptions of ourselves.

13/ Related to #12 - A few years ago, I was sitting at a conference table with Terri Richmond of @PennNursing nursing & a lot of other young, scared nursing PhD students. I asked her what she thought we, as a group, could be doing differently or better to be successful...

14/ I expected her to say "Write more."

Or "Do more research."

But she said, "Be more self-confident. I think you're all amazing and I wish you saw yourselves that way, too."

At the time, I didn't get it at all 😆 Now I do.

15/ Walking around with self-doubt & imposter syndrome gets of desperately needed change in healthcare. Not that this is easy... but I hope future waves of nurses resist entrenched toxic cultures in healthcare & academia & have confidence to (hopefully) change the world!

Many people I thought of when writing this aren't on twitter, but tagging just a few people who came to mind (would love to hear what you all learned in year 1, too!): @mgreene1228 @AltafSaadiMD @DrKiaSkrine @MarissaSeamans

*gets in the way of