Trigger warning: abuse
This is a long overdue thread. We are going to talk about coping from abuse during the pandemic, where we may be locked down with abusers, whether they are parents or partners. Given that the leaving option may be put on hold because of the pandemic, we
This is a long overdue thread. We are going to talk about coping from abuse during the pandemic, where we may be locked down with abusers, whether they are parents or partners. Given that the leaving option may be put on hold because of the pandemic, we
will focus on coping. First of all, it is important to have a safe space, whether it is your room or any designated space that you enjoy, where you can retreat and recentre. This space should be the one that the abuser least goes to. Another very important point is to not be
isolated. Reach out to as many people as possible, let them know what is going on. The abuse is at its worst when the abuser knows that the survivor is isolated and has no outside support. This is when control is optimal for an abuser. The more allies you have on the outside, the
better. Externalize to friends and loved ones as much as possible. If there is an opening for you to leave or someone who is willing to take you in, then that’s a great plan. However, if for some reason, it is not possible, you can start thinking and drafting a plan to leave
as soon as opportunities present themselves. Deep breathing, meditation and exercise will help a little with the anxiety. Also, people who are abusive tend to have a pattern, whether it is when they are drunk or a certain time of the day. If you know the pattern of the abuser,
it is best to engage as little as possible and avoid them during those times for safety and to minimize the impact as much as possible. If you are financially dependent on the person, try and reach out to organizations in your locality, some of them may offer financial support
until you can find a job and get on your feet. If possible, go for walks outside of the environment as much as possible to feel connected and part of something more than the household where the abuse takes place and it will allow for a sense of safety even if it is a few hours
everyday. Self-care is also important. Part of an abuser’s mission is to make us feel so low and hate ourselves that we can’t think we deserve better. Self-care reminds us that we are worth it, that we can take care of ourselves and helps us regain a little bit of self-esteem.
While none of these are ways to completely avoid everything, the goal is to increase safety as much as possible and diminish the impact on our mental health until it is time for the exit strategy. Please stay as safe as possible and break the isolation however you can!
