Profile picture
, 5 tweets, 1 min read
My Authors
Read all threads
Next week...

SCOTT BAIO: I‘m someone who knows about Happy Days. Pause for laugh. Oh I wasn’t supposed to read that. Let me start over. I’m someone who knows...

TRUMP: Thank you Fabio. Great kid. I taught him how to act. So Sleepy Joe bombed his schpeesh last week. What a mesh!
TRUMP: I want to bring out the First Lady. Everyone loves the First Lady. Isn’t she great? Come on out Melania. The best thing about her is how handsome she thinks I am. Ask her. If there were people in here you could ask her. Melania come out. Dan, would you get her out here?
TRUMP: Now I want you to meet a great guy, Herman Cain!
BEN CARSON: Hi Don. Thanks for inviting me. I have very good news about the vaccine I developed for COVID while doing the HUD. Me and the MyPillow guy tested it on many of the animals on my backyard ark and it worked twice.
LAURA LOOMER: Marjorie and I wanted you to have this Q mask as a thanks for your support.
TRUMP: Where’s the mask?
LAYRA LOOMER: There is no mask! The masks developed by Bill Gates to implant kids with chips for this hoax virus!
TRUMP: Isn’t she terrific? A real Republican star!
STEVE BANNON: So in order to pay you back the wall money, I need you to do me one more patriotic solid, and donate to my legal fund.
KRIS KOBACH; Our fund.
STEVE BANNON: Whatever. So you paying us helps us pay you.
KRIS KOBACH: Spoke to Trump backstage, he totally supports this.
Missing some Tweet in this thread? You can try to force a refresh.

Keep Current with JeremyNewberger

Profile picture

Stay in touch and get notified when new unrolls are available from this author!

Read all threads

This Thread may be Removed Anytime!

Twitter may remove this content at anytime, convert it as a PDF, save and print for later use!

Try unrolling a thread yourself!

how to unroll video

1) Follow Thread Reader App on Twitter so you can easily mention us!

2) Go to a Twitter thread (series of Tweets by the same owner) and mention us with a keyword "unroll" @threadreaderapp unroll

You can practice here first or read more on our help page!

More from @jeremynewberger see all

Profile picture
JeremyNewberger
@jeremynewberger
Lights up. Projected on WH is giant MAGA hat. We hear Pump Up The Jam as barking German Shepherds run across the Rose Garden. Ted Nugent appears on WH balcony shredding a solo as Sean Hannity in an American flag tuxedo and top hat escorts Ivanka from the South Portico. (1)
A Horah circle forms with Lindsey Graham, Lou Dobbs, Ted Cruz, and Newt Gingrich. They lift Don Jr. in a chair. F-16s fly over dropping blue ice on poor DC neighborhoods. A giant Confederate flag unfurls as Kid Rock sings "Bawitdaba, da bang, da dang diggy diggy, diggy..." (2)
In a sexy burlesque outfit with long fishnet stockings, Judge Jeanine Pirro dances out on the Front Lawn. She pops a champagne cork. Through a cloud of tear gas a gas masked Trump walks out. We hear The Apprentice theme. Matt Gaetz drops rose petals as Trump heads to podium. (3)
Read 4 tweets
Profile picture
JeremyNewberger
@jeremynewberger
@realDonaldTrump ...And the water glass was very heavy, twice the weight of a normal water glass, and that's why I had to hoist it up with my other hand, to make sure it didnt fall and break, causing broken glass to hurt one of our troops, which the fake news would love.
@realDonaldTrump ...might be one of the steepest ramps in the history of our country. Many people are saying that not even Evel Knievel would have attempted it as quickly as I did. Sleep Joe Biden would have skidded down the ramp. My strong heels managed it like a champ. I had Bone spurs ya know.
@realDonaldTrump ...I actually was holding up that General down the ramp, who was having a tough time with the ramp. He will write a letter tomorrow confirming or AG Barr will. If I didn't go that slow, my General would have fallen. Some might say I saved him. Purple Heart?
Read 6 tweets
Profile picture
JeremyNewberger
@jeremynewberger
@MnDPS_MSP Here's a helpful guide for you fellas in the @MNDPS_MSP:

This is a weatherman doing the weather. Don't arrest.
@MnDPS_MSP This is a news anchor doing the news. Don't arrest.
@MnDPS_MSP This is a talk show host. Don't arrest.
Read 4 tweets

Embed code for your website

×
Follow Us on Twitter!

Did Thread Reader help you today?

Support us! We are indie developers!

This site is made by just two indie developers on a laptop doing marketing, support and development! Read more about the story.

Become a Premium Member ($3.00/month or $30.00/year) and get exclusive features!

Become Premium

Too expensive? Make a small donation by buying us coffee ($5) or help with server cost ($10)

Donate via Paypal Become our Patreon

Thank you for your support!