Thread by @SingsongRaptor

The really hard thing about being disabled and poor is that you feel like a huge asshole when lots of people give you great suggestions and you have to turn 95% of them down bcuz you don't have the money or space and probably can't handle the cleanup or setup

Society goes out of its way to make you feel like a whiny, ungrateful wretch who isn't trying or just wants to complain bcuz you've either already tried something or have reasons you can't try something or don't think it'll work or be worth the effort or money

It doesn't help that I've always been on the receiving end of verbal and emotional abuse bcuz "it must not be that bad" if I'm not doing what other ppl think I should be doing or trying, esp in regards to my mental health or disability.

But the underpinning of this is the idea that mentally ill, chronically ill, disabled, and poor ppl, esp if they're non-white and non men (or trans men), are inherently untrustworthy, lazy, whiny and unable to know their bodies and minds.

It's so often "do you actually want help" or "why did you ask for advice if you're gonna turn everything down/not even try" but like, so much advice starts by assuming how much money and space I have, how much energy and pain I have, how many public and personal resources

Nobody did or said anything of the sort but I always feel self conscious bcuz ppl have said these things in the past and have disparaged me for it and accused me of faking and laziness in the past, esp bcuz I have games and tech and such but like

You have no idea the kinds of things my husband does to get nice things for us, and we always give stuff up to get those things and they aren't gotten often. All our stuff is several years old for example, or gifts. That one time purchase with a year end bonus doesn't solve

Daily problems like food concerns, or getting new clothes for a growing kid. We haven't had new clothes in years and he's needed new shoes for years cuz he's replacing mine instead. He's only got nice clothes bcuz they're for *work* and he got a lot as gifts.

You can tell what's for work and what were gifts in his closet, the difference is obvious. Most of our casual stuff has holes and is worn out. It's cheaper to buy a game once a year than replace clothes and shoes. And I'm fat so I'm not finding much at thrift stores.

And there's not many thrift stores near me. Other than goodwill which we know is trash and exploits disabled ppl. But ppl see games as luxury items and disabled and poor ppl aren't allowed to have nice things or enjoy themselves or entertain themselves

But they're also not allowed to turn down any and all advice without being accused of whining, ungratefulness, laziness, or even lying. So I'm having a rough time being that poor, disabled person, esp since I'm Black. I'm tired today

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