COVID Update August 28: Pandemic rules.
There are none, but there should be.
There are none, but there should be.
1- Loss of life should be more uncomfortable than it is. Our president shouldn’t be able to hide from it.
Cameras everywhere. We need to stop referring to people in jails & the border as anything less than Americans.
Cameras everywhere. We need to stop referring to people in jails & the border as anything less than Americans.
2- Scientists should be required to report all conversations with the White House where they are being asked to alter a scientific finding to the Inspector General.
3- If you’re in charge of White House social media, you have no business being involved in the actual pandemic response.
4- If after managing a pandemic, you’re scared of allowing people to vote, you probably fucked up the pandemic response.
5- Any drug the president promotes the benefit of, he takes on camera. Same with vaccines.
6- Isolation centers/fever tents = Trump hotels
7- Pandemics are managed in command centers, hospitals, clinics & nursing homes not the Rose Garden.
8- No one leaves the pandemic richer. Windfall profit tax on all pharma cos, insurance cos, major labs during a pandemic.
Money goes to testing for schools and health care in poor neighborhoods.
Money goes to testing for schools and health care in poor neighborhoods.
9- You’re not allowed to call someone a hero and then not give them complete protective gear and extra pay.
10- If Congress allows unemployment insurance to expire with 10% unemployment, donates all their PAC money to a food bank and rental assistance fund.
And they then aren’t eligible for unemployment benefits when they get their butt kicked in the next election.
And they then aren’t eligible for unemployment benefits when they get their butt kicked in the next election.
11- The Defense Production Act should function like a Citizen’s Arrest (or like I thought it did when I was 7).
“I declare the Defense Production Act. Now make masks!”
Seriously, governors should be given that power to activate it if the president won’t exercise it.
“I declare the Defense Production Act. Now make masks!”
Seriously, governors should be given that power to activate it if the president won’t exercise it.
12- The combination of not wearing a mask, hanging out in bars, whining about your kids not being able to go to school, using the phrase “herd immunity” should result in automatic forfeiture of your “WWJD” bracelet.
13- Use of the words “I’m not an epidemiologist but...” should cause automatic throat closure and require use of a (generic) epi-pen.
I know this sounds harsh but it is for the good of many others.
I know this sounds harsh but it is for the good of many others.
14- If you’re a business and require “incentives” causing you to overcharge for masks and tests and vaccines, you must repeat kindergarten.
And eat paste.
And eat paste.
15- If you are yelling about teachers who are worried about their health, tomorrow invite 25 kids over to play in your apartment for the day.
16- If you don’t appreciate the existence of elastic wastes, you and I are having very different pandemics. Don’t hate on elastic.
17- Don’t vape. Obviously not a good idea.
18- OK. Seriously. Just don’t breathe on people or near people for a while. That’s simple.
19- When this thing is over, we need to change some shit. The climate stuff for one. And we need to have a serious talk about what liberty means and what it doesn’t. And stop the racism. And the electoral college.
People are looking at our country like— “Had to happen.”
People are looking at our country like— “Had to happen.”
20- Be nice. But let’s fix this. We can’t afford to be right without being decent any longer.
OK, let’s go. /end
