Every doctor carries along her/his own little graveyard. Inevitably, we make mistakes. People die, or become disabled. You never forget those patients. 1/n
In my first year of training there was a 20yo woman with stage IV lymphoma (DLBCL). She was clinically fine but I overlooked her creatinin which showed severe CKD from diuretics. 1w later she came in with heart block from betablocker overdose and died. 2/n
An older woman during training was admitted after a fall. She complained of shoulder pain -> no fracture. Next day she was paraplegic from spinal fracture. She hadn't complained about her back and I missed that. 3/n
More recently as an on-call consultant, a patient became blind from giant cell arteritis. Point is, we learn from our mistakes, but the consequences are severe. You never forget them though. A little graveyard with all the lost lives, limbs and abilities, you carry around. 4/n
You remember them when you are on holidays with your family. Or another quiet time. We have to cope with that and give it a place in our heart. Or else we become #secondvictims, get burn out and can't help others anymore. We don't talk about this enough. 5/n
Occasionally you can diagnose or treat patients no other doctor was able to help. Those victories are however forgotten after some time. They never compensate. But remember, you can't save lives without losing some. 6/n
Sounds familiar to you? We can talk about it. It happens to any doctor with time.
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