[THREAD] Let's talk about codependency. It is something that started to appear in our normal conversations, but it is not always clear what it means. A codependency is when, in a relationship, one person enables someone's else mental health issues, addictions and other issues.
Therefore, codependency creates many of painful emotions and contributes to worsening of our mental health. It leads to issues such as anxiety, low self-esteem, and feeling trapped. The low self-esteem that occurs in codependent relationships can make it hard to leave.
This means that despite knowing that things may be wrong with the relationship, we can feel isolated and not take the steps to leave because we fear not finding another relationship or being completely isolated. Codependency is also an environment that can create a lot of abuse.
In terms of recognizing whether we are in such relationships, there are certain things we can look for. In codependent relationships, one person always makes sacrifices for the enabler, it is very one directional. The codependent partner feels proud to sacrifice for the enabler.
Furthermore, the enabler may not care about the feelings, wellbeing of the partner, focusing only on what they may want or need. There is no safe environment for the partner to open up because the enabler will either dismiss that or get angry when the focus is not on them.
There can be many damages to the codependent individual in a relationship. They often have to sacrifice their friendships, family bonds, their career suffers. They go through great lengths to please the enabler, no matter how much it may be harmful to their own life.
If you find yourself being unable to feel happy unless you do something for your partner, stay in a relationship even if it is harmful to you, feel anxious about the relationship, use your energy for your partner, feel guilty whenever you think about yourself, those are signs!
Codependency can develop in us if we were raised in abusive families where love was conditional to us doing things for our parents or families. It can also arise if we grew up caring for our family members because they may have been chronically ill and we are used to that.
Some ways in which codependent relationships and individuals can be treated is through solving the underlying issues whether it stems from trauma, childhood mental health issues, abusive families that enabled those behaviours early on.
Couples' therapy to teach the enabler to be more giving and the codependent individual to be more selfish. Furthermore, it is important for the codependent partner to widen their social circle and have some space outside the relationship.
While it can be hard to unlearn those dynamics especially in an existing relationship, it can be easier to deal with those after a break-up in order for those dynamics not to affect future relationships.
It is also important to note that codependent and dependent relationships are not the same at all. Some people often confuse the two of them. Usually, codependent relationships are more harmful and the dynamics more one-sided. Hope this helped clarify a little 💚

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More from @bazzapower

8 Sep
[THREAD] I want to revisit depression. It is really fitting given that we are going through a global depression, loss of jobs, and being stuck at home. Depression is everywhere. Why do we get depressed? Can we prevent it? And how much is it linked to other mental health issues.
There are multiple stressors happening right now. From worrying about ourselves and our loved ones, to either not working or working too much, wondering what the future holds, depression is a crisis that is happening globally right now at very high levels. We often think that
we can prevent it but in some cases we can’t. Losing loved ones to a pandemic, being stuck at home without seeing friends, extending our mental capacity to be there for others when we don’t have any energy. At the beginning of the pandemic, the theme in my DMs was around anxiety.
Read 11 tweets
1 Sep
[THREAD] I want to take a moment to talk about repressing, especially in regards to emotions. We all do it to a certain extent whether it is because we don’t want to bother our loved ones or because we don’t feel safe opening up to the people we currently know.
However, repressing emotions comes with some issues. Let’s take all our mental capacity as a bathtub. Everyone’s bathtub is going to be different and different sizes. But no matter what, at one point or another it is going to fill up and that is when mental health issues start!
When we repress our emotions, we don’t drain that bathtub until it overflows. Externalizing acts as a drain. It allows us to take all those thoughts and emotions that are inside of us and take them outside. That can be accomplished in a variety of ways.
Read 6 tweets
27 Aug
[THREAD] After talking about recoveries, it seems fitting to talk about relapses. They are the other side of the coin, the one we don’t like to think about or talk about much. But it is very much part of the recovery process. In fact, when we look at graphs of recoveries,
mental health differs from physical health. For the most part, in physical health, recovery is linear unless it is for chronic conditions. For mental health, it is almost always up and down but the trend is still upwards. However, at any point during our recovery process, we run
the risk of relapsing. These can be due to many factors from new stressors, new trauma, or it can happen for no outward apparent reason at all. When it comes to recovery, there a few stages. Precontemplation, contemplation, preparation, action, maintenance and relapse. This model
Read 11 tweets
26 Aug
[THREAD] I wanted to take a moment to write a small thread about recovery, specifically the early signs of recovery. This is because even when we start to recover from issues related to our mental health, we don’t notice them and may not realize that we are on the right path.
When we are at the bottom, even small improvements may not register because our mental lens is still focused on all the “bad” that is happening. However, there are some general signs that happen for almost everyone when their recovery starts. For example, we may be slightly more
active, a slightly better sleep, appetite or energy. We can start being a little more productive even if it is just 5 minutes more a day. One of the most important signs is increase in self-care. When that increase in quantity and quality of self-care appears, it is a huge sign.
Read 6 tweets
23 Aug
[THREAD] As my generation (millennials) is getting ready to have kids or already has young kids, how can we be better parents and spare our kids some of trauma we may have experienced growing up? Well, let’s start with the most important. We need to go to therapy. Without
solving some of our core issues, it will show and we will give it to our kids even without meaning to. It could be because we get angry due to our own mental health, or dismissive or things like that. Remember that when our parents had us, they also had good intentions for the
most part. They wanted us to be happy and grow up to be successful but intentions don’t matter as much. Second, we cannot fight with our partners in front of them. Yes, even when they are “asleep” they may not be and can definitely hear it or pick up on it. If you and your
Read 8 tweets
21 Aug
[THREAD] I want to dedicate a whole thread to self-esteem and self-efficacy. Self-esteem is an evaluation of our own worth whereas self-efficacy is an evaluation of how well we can accomplish take and work. Whenever our mental health suffers, both of these tend to also
suffer. We often link them to depression and it makes sense given that during episodes of depression, we often lose motivation and see ourselves as worse than we are. However, all mental health issues cause a drop in these two not just depression. Self-esteem and self-efficacy
have been decreasing globally because we tend to value things that are very superficial and easy to lose when things don’t go well. For example, when we value ourselves in terms of our jobs, or grades, or how well we look, they can be lost easily. For example, even the best of us
Read 14 tweets

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