[THREAD] Let's talk about codependency. It is something that started to appear in our normal conversations, but it is not always clear what it means. A codependency is when, in a relationship, one person enables someone's else mental health issues, addictions and other issues.
Therefore, codependency creates many of painful emotions and contributes to worsening of our mental health. It leads to issues such as anxiety, low self-esteem, and feeling trapped. The low self-esteem that occurs in codependent relationships can make it hard to leave.
This means that despite knowing that things may be wrong with the relationship, we can feel isolated and not take the steps to leave because we fear not finding another relationship or being completely isolated. Codependency is also an environment that can create a lot of abuse.
In terms of recognizing whether we are in such relationships, there are certain things we can look for. In codependent relationships, one person always makes sacrifices for the enabler, it is very one directional. The codependent partner feels proud to sacrifice for the enabler.
Furthermore, the enabler may not care about the feelings, wellbeing of the partner, focusing only on what they may want or need. There is no safe environment for the partner to open up because the enabler will either dismiss that or get angry when the focus is not on them.
There can be many damages to the codependent individual in a relationship. They often have to sacrifice their friendships, family bonds, their career suffers. They go through great lengths to please the enabler, no matter how much it may be harmful to their own life.
If you find yourself being unable to feel happy unless you do something for your partner, stay in a relationship even if it is harmful to you, feel anxious about the relationship, use your energy for your partner, feel guilty whenever you think about yourself, those are signs!
Codependency can develop in us if we were raised in abusive families where love was conditional to us doing things for our parents or families. It can also arise if we grew up caring for our family members because they may have been chronically ill and we are used to that.
Some ways in which codependent relationships and individuals can be treated is through solving the underlying issues whether it stems from trauma, childhood mental health issues, abusive families that enabled those behaviours early on.
Couples' therapy to teach the enabler to be more giving and the codependent individual to be more selfish. Furthermore, it is important for the codependent partner to widen their social circle and have some space outside the relationship.
While it can be hard to unlearn those dynamics especially in an existing relationship, it can be easier to deal with those after a break-up in order for those dynamics not to affect future relationships.
It is also important to note that codependent and dependent relationships are not the same at all. Some people often confuse the two of them. Usually, codependent relationships are more harmful and the dynamics more one-sided. Hope this helped clarify a little 💚
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