"The Mummy" live tweet incoming, some counter programming for the NBA Finals. Also tweeting from my laptop, which I haven't done in about 3 years. If the tweets seem more optimistic that's probably why.
Universal logo dissolves into the hot Egyptian sun. Universal always tries to pull that crap. Not as often as Dreamworks, but that's not saying much. 
The Mummy curse never quite made sense. Basically he's just regular dead unless someone opens his tomb, then he the most powerful creature on earth. Why give yourself 3000 years of guard duty, those beetles were punishment enough
Nice to have an actual title credit. One time i went to the wrong screening of Ratatoullie and thought they were being fancy with no title credit. Turns out I came in halfway through the movie.
The boys
This is what the zoomers call "a fit" i believe
Brendan Fraser, above all else, is a *physcial* actor. Not a slight, in an abstract world it’s nice to have something incarnate. Today’s actors don’t have that, I don’t believe Chalamet can lift a box, let alone ride a sandworm. Brendan Fraser could ride a sandworm
Bisexuality isn't real. It's one of those college myths, like if your roommate dies you get an automatic A. But the thing is, Mummies aren't real either and I still see them on screen.
Hell yeah the library collapse scene.
The bookshelf dominos goes one for the exact number of seconds longer than you think it well. Sideshow Bob rake step theory of comic timing
I've tweeted this exact image and sentiment 1000 times before, but Hollywood has long neglected the "your'e going to fall in love with this character" shot.
Yes yes backstory is important, character building blah blah. That's what's good about a book club. This is The Movies, move me.
“Abdul? Muhammad? ....Bob?” The best jokes are the ones simple enough that you start to resent the writer for coming up with them first.
John Hannah as the brother. Hannah was the alternate timeline love interest in Sliding Doors. We were supposed to find him charming, but ultimately he was so annoying that you hope that Gywenth gets back with her cheating boyfriend. He’s good here though.
Fraser and Weisz’s chemistry is incredible in this, the way that only happens when you don’t expect it. There’s no reason for it to work, and that’s exactly why it works.
Brendan Fraser almost died doing this stunt. Michael J. Fox almost died the same way a few years earlier on BTTF 3. Say what you will about Hollywood, but they operate on a firm 3 strike policy.
Guys I'm going to be honest the thread is going to get a lot hornier from here on out
Tonight’s beer of choice. Bought solely for the can, let’s see how it goes
Brendan is so handsome in this the film was forced to acknowledge it.
They’re getting on a boat in the Nike, I love boats on the nile. I hope heaven is just me and Poirot solving murders on boats. God providing a never ending supply of dead aristocrats.
Guys I'm serious if you want to keep any semblance of respect for me, walk away now
Benny is technically brownface but there’s something universal about his cowardice.
Apparently when Evie emerges from the water after jumping off the boat, her gown was much more transparent than they thought it would be, they had to cgi some stuff to make it pg. I remember that IMDb fact but none of my high school math.
Iconic line, quotable without really trying to be quotable, like Nolan does. You can hear it now, can't you?
The 4 rival Americans are a nice touch. Friendly rivals to hopeless patsies, good narrative economy
It doesn’t lend itself well to screenshots, but Sommers has such a good sense of humor. Everything is quips nowadays, there’s not a quip in sight here.
Approps of nothing, congrats to Weisz for being the only british actress to not appear in the Harry Potter franchise. I know it helps when your husband has James Bond money, but it still takes real moral courage to stand up to your country like that
Two classic lines within 20 minutes. Marvel has been trying to do that over 20 movies. The Thanos memes are a little forced, admit it.
Three classic lines. Evie really is the Indiana Jones of her time, because she made her fans get really impractical degrees.
Rachel Weisz, if she wanted, could have been Britain's Sweetheart. She instead chose to take her craft seriously and be a serious actress. Good for her I guess, but let's be honest, her Oscar for The Constant Gardner is the only physical proof that movie exists.
Guys we aren’t even halfway through the movie yet, apparently there’s this whole mummy that’s going to show up
Alright, I’m going to bed, will finish this sometime tomorrow. We’ll see how the east coast reacts to it in the morning, hopefully my moral weakness will still seem charming in the cold light of day.
Part II of The Mummy thread incoming. Hopefully it's a strong sequel like The Godfather part II, and not a bad sequel like The Mummy Returns.
*whispering to my date in the movie theater* that The Mummy
For one beautiful moment, things are perfect. But the 2000s approach in the distance
The Mummy franchise has always understood what disgusting vermin insects are. Filthy, clicking, tools for undead pagans.
The CGI is terrible, but enough years have passed to the point where we can pretend it's charming.
When a monster screams at you, you might as well scream back. This is a better depiction of existentialism than all of Sartre and most of Camus.
Benny having all the different faith necklaces is a great character beat and also a damning look at unitarianism. A cowards creed, Benny is pretty much you guys' Pope.
The 90s was the peak of shadowy but ultimately benevolent middle eastern orders defending ancient relics. There's this and Last Crusade, that's at least two.
Also the guy on the right was Cecil in Mr. Deeds, one of those random Adam Sandler supporting roles that sticks with you. Like Allen Covert in The Wedding Singer
I used to hate Jonathan in this, but as someone who has spent the last 3 years hanging out with my sister and her boyfriend, I now recognize he's doing the best he can.
Apparently this guy was the runner up for the role of Rick, got this part as a consolation. This kind of jawline used to be a dime a dozen until we stopped drinking milk from HGH cows.
Here you go. Some phone wallpaper, or perhaps a meme. I don't run your life.
Stars used to be beautiful. What's the 21st century's answer? Saoirse Ronan and Chalamet? Spindly, all limbs. 1999 was red cheeked and sturdy.
More than anything else, this is the single image that defines the 90s. The pressure of Reagan exceptionalism had fallen off after the collapse of the Berlin Wall. The briefest window in American history where we could be intentionally goofy.
I would gladly be mummified alive and buried for 3000 years if it meant I'd get one of Evie's wide eyed distraction kisses. If that makes me a simp then so be it.
RIP G. Plane Chesterton. You deserve a better pun than that but honestly you were in this for about 4 minutes.
Enjoying the simple logic of shooting at the henchmen mummies. In modern screenwriting you just kill the head mummy and they all collapse because they’re a hive mind for some reason.
Mummies
On some level I pity The Mummy. Doing all this for a girl who just gets him into more fights. We all have that friend whose girlfriend just escalates everything, usually in lines for nightclub bathrooms. This is just that on a slightly larger scale.
Benny doesn’t deserve that Grimm’s fairy tale ending. This is a tale about grave robbers who learn not to rob certain graves, there’s not a lot of moral high ground here
This film is dedicated to the brave Mujahideen fighters of Afghanistan
This is all men want, a girl on our camel and a dumb brother-in-law to make us look good when we inevitably mess it up.
What an adventure we've had these last two nights, folks. Romance, adventure, uncomfortable thirst, Kevin J. O'Connor.
I think I've got the hang of this now, we're doing this again, sooner rather than later. Next movie is Scooby Doo on Zombie Island.
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