WHEN SHAYTAN WANTS A HUG, HE CHOOSES A HOME BREAKER AMONG THE DEVILS
The Prophet (SAW) said:
“Iblīs places his throne upon water; he then sends detachments (for creating dissension); those who are nearer to him in rank are the ones who are most notorious in creating dissension.
One of them says, ‘I did such-&-such.’
And [Iblīs] says, ‘You have done nothing.’
Then another one comes forth and say:
‘I did not leave so-and-so until I caused dissension between him and his wife'
Iblīs then comes close to him and says ‘Yes, you [have done well]!’”
Al-A‘mash added:
“He then embraces him.”
[Muslim]
The consequences of a broken home are potentially enormous just as we see today in our society. Thus, it is something that Shaytan specifically targets & is so pleased with that he embraces the devil that causes it.
How do we avoid creating broken homes, which are potential disasters to the society?
As one of the most noble institutions before Allah, the marriage covenant is something that Islam doesn't joke with. It is surrounded by Do's & Dont's just so we avoid rendering it fruitless.
As the head of the house, the first call lands on the man. He must place the highest priority in putting his house in order & ensure that he teaches his family the laws of Allah. More often than not, the problem begins from how the foundation of the family is being laid.
A good choice of a spouse as a husband, & as a wife is very necessary. This means, your partner shouldn't be just someone that fits into your lustful description of a woman or a man. He/she should be someone that will remind you about the laws of Allah & uphold your rights too.
There is a major concept in marital duties, which Imam Al-qurtubi (RH) described as the verse of all marital rights & duties. This is where Allah the most High says:
"..And they (women) have rights (over their husbands) similar to (those of their husbands) over them to what is reasonable, but men have a degree (of responsibility) over them.." [Suraj al-Baqarah 2:228].
Ibn Abbaas (RA) said:
The meaning of this verse is that, women have all rights to good companionship and kind treatment on the part of their husbands, just as they have to obey their husbands in whatever they tell them to do as long as it doesn't violate the Shari'ah.
You want her to make you happy? Make her happy. You want her to provide for you the most deserving atmosphere to have fun & enjoy her? Provide her the same atmosphere. You want her to satisfy you sexually? Satisfy her sexually too, and so on. Women have the same rights over us as
we have over them too. When you uphold the rights of one another, you have indeed laid a solid foundation of happiness & peaceful coexistence, and certainly a path to avoid a broken home.
Among other things, spouses must turn blind eyes to the faults or mistakes of each other.
Correct one another when you err, apologize when you wrong one another, be gentle on each other & get over things as fast as you can.
Allah says:
"..those who repress anger, and who pardon others; verily Allaah loves as muhsinoon ( the good-doers)."
[Surah Aal Imraan 3:134].
Also, remember that you are not married to a flawless angel. He will not be that perfect man just as you are not that perfect women. Spouses must learn to put up with one another. A tit for a tat isn't for spouses. Don't say you ll return his anger with one or her anger with one.
When she is angry, look for a way to calm her down. If you are at fault, apologise to her. When you see him angry, calm him down, and apologize when you are wrong. This was golden advice given by Abud-Darda' (RA) to his wife. He said to her:
"Oh my beloved wife, if you see me angry, calm me down, and if I see you angry I will calm you down, otherwise we cannot live together."
Do not be bent towards picking the faults of one another. Trust me, none of us is a saint. So let us put up with each others faults.
Importantly, never cease to remind each other about Allah especially when you notice a derailment. Remember, the best companions are those that enter into a relationship for Allah's sake & depart for His sake too. Do not relent on your efforts to guide each other.
Good attitude and kindness to each other is a key binder. So many men are lacking in this. So many men do not see their wives as friends and as confidantes. So many are not romantic & kind. We all have to do better than we are. This is the only way we can build happy homes.
When we allow Shaytan to hug his foot soldiers, that means we have failed in keeping our homes. So many broken homes these days and we expect the society to move forward? Have we forgotten that a home is the tiniest, yet most significant unit of the society?
When we allow the homes to break, we are inadvertently breaking the entire society.
Let us each play our roles and give our society life by creating happy homes.
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@gimbakakanda is an unfortunate alarmist, full of some inherent bitterness from God-knows-where. I have never read anywhere where it is said that an "Arewa culture" means every tribe must be seen as a Hausa. How many of us are actually Hausa by tribe? And even if we are, so what?
I know for one, my origin is Kukawa in present Borno state, a lineage we have traced through my Kusfa grandparent. Though my parent were all born in Kaduna, & we all have adopted Hausa as a tribe, what is a big deal about a tribe? Who says your tribe defines how special you are?
But I understand one thing about this fragrant little life of a boy, he has a pain he might have inherited from somewhere, & he uses every single opportunity to express how his small mind can't accept the fact that what he & his likes think about an ideology or a person doesn't
An important trick that Shaytan tries to get you to fall into is to lose hope in the Mercy of Allah.
If Shayṭān can get you to lose hope, then he has won.
Iblīs has no hope.
He has no hope in the Mercy of Allāh or of being forgiven.
He loves to cause this type of feeling in the children of Adam as well. But remember that Allāh forgives all sins as long as you don’t die upon it. A person may try to take a few steps to Allāh, & Shayṭān will say:
“You are not worthy. How dare you! Didn’t you commit this sin?”
Shayṭān wants that you give up hope in the Mercy of Allāh.
Don’t ever say you have hit rock bottom. As long as Allāh Has given you breath to breathe & a conscious mind, then you haven’t, it is a statement of Shayṭān to say you have hit rock bottom.
It is inexorable to appreciate those selfless men & women that have given their best to see us where we are today. TEACHERS. They are our ladders to the height of success we are all proud of today. I m lucky to have the following Teachers in my life.
My first Teacher was my mother, from whom I learnt & memorised the complete Juz'u Amma.
She handed me over to Malam Zakariyya Mai-Hatsi, who also happened to have taught my father & mother at different times. He lived a very long life & impacted positively in our lives.
I have had several other Teachers afterwards, from whom I learnt the Deen, including Shaykh Yahya Assalafiy & Shaykh Dr Pantami (may Allah preserve them all and reward them with the best of the two worlds). Malam Safiyanu, Malam Nasir Yusuf & Malama Binta Umar Musa.
You have invested so much in the education of your children, for their success in the dunya.
But if Allah (SubhanaHu wa Ta'ala) asks you "What did you teach your children about me?"
What would your answer be?
Can you boldly say that the level of your childrens' education about ALLAH is the same or above the level of their knowledge of concepts of maths & science?
Which is more important to you? Which do you invest more into? Which knowledge will help them more in this life & next?
-Teach your kids how to be self motivated, to do their salah, to worship Allah (SWT)
-Teach them how to be confident muslims and proud of their deen which leads them to their Rabb
- Build a strong foundation for the character of your child & place love of the Deen in them.
HERE ARE 7 THINGS YOU SHOULD DO IF YOU HAVE A NIGHTMARE.
The accursed Shaytan does not refrain from ANY harm that he can cause the children of Adam, even when we are asleep!
The Prophet ﷺ said, “The the evil dream which causes pain is from the satan” (Muslim 2263).
What should you do when you have a bad dream?
1. Know that this dream is from the Shayṭān, so don’t dwell over it. Shayṭān wants you to be concerned and think about it. The way to fight Shayṭān is to put it aside and not think about it. Move on with your life. Fast.
2. Seek refuge in Allāh from the accursed Shayṭān.
The sunnah is to say: a’udhibillahi min al-Shayṭān’l-rajim. Ask Allah to save you from the evil you saw. Immediately you do this, your heart should feel calm. Don't think about it again.