Thread by @Realoilsheikh

WHEN SHAYTAN WANTS A HUG, HE CHOOSES A HOME BREAKER AMONG THE DEVILS

The Prophet (SAW) said:

“Iblīs places his throne upon water; he then sends detachments (for creating dissension); those who are nearer to him in rank are the ones who are most notorious in creating dissension.

One of them says, ‘I did such-&-such.’

And [Iblīs] says, ‘You have done nothing.’

Then another one comes forth and say:

‘I did not leave so-and-so until I caused dissension between him and his wife'

Iblīs then comes close to him and says ‘Yes, you [have done well]!’”

Al-A‘mash added:

“He then embraces him.”
[Muslim]

The consequences of a broken home are potentially enormous just as we see today in our society. Thus, it is something that Shaytan specifically targets & is so pleased with that he embraces the devil that causes it.

How do we avoid creating broken homes, which are potential disasters to the society?

As one of the most noble institutions before Allah, the marriage covenant is something that Islam doesn't joke with. It is surrounded by Do's & Dont's just so we avoid rendering it fruitless.

As the head of the house, the first call lands on the man. He must place the highest priority in putting his house in order & ensure that he teaches his family the laws of Allah. More often than not, the problem begins from how the foundation of the family is being laid.

A good choice of a spouse as a husband, & as a wife is very necessary. This means, your partner shouldn't be just someone that fits into your lustful description of a woman or a man. He/she should be someone that will remind you about the laws of Allah & uphold your rights too.

There is a major concept in marital duties, which Imam Al-qurtubi (RH) described as the verse of all marital rights & duties. This is where Allah the most High says:

"..And they (women) have rights (over their husbands) similar to (those of their husbands) over them to what is reasonable, but men have a degree (of responsibility) over them.." [Suraj al-Baqarah 2:228].

Ibn Abbaas (RA) said:

The meaning of this verse is that, women have all rights to good companionship and kind treatment on the part of their husbands, just as they have to obey their husbands in whatever they tell them to do as long as it doesn't violate the Shari'ah.

You want her to make you happy? Make her happy. You want her to provide for you the most deserving atmosphere to have fun & enjoy her? Provide her the same atmosphere. You want her to satisfy you sexually? Satisfy her sexually too, and so on. Women have the same rights over us as

we have over them too. When you uphold the rights of one another, you have indeed laid a solid foundation of happiness & peaceful coexistence, and certainly a path to avoid a broken home.

Among other things, spouses must turn blind eyes to the faults or mistakes of each other.

Correct one another when you err, apologize when you wrong one another, be gentle on each other & get over things as fast as you can.

Allah says:

"..those who repress anger, and who pardon others; verily Allaah loves as muhsinoon ( the good-doers)."
[Surah Aal Imraan 3:134].

Also, remember that you are not married to a flawless angel. He will not be that perfect man just as you are not that perfect women. Spouses must learn to put up with one another. A tit for a tat isn't for spouses. Don't say you ll return his anger with one or her anger with one.

When she is angry, look for a way to calm her down. If you are at fault, apologise to her. When you see him angry, calm him down, and apologize when you are wrong. This was golden advice given by Abud-Darda' (RA) to his wife. He said to her:

"Oh my beloved wife, if you see me angry, calm me down, and if I see you angry I will calm you down, otherwise we cannot live together."

Do not be bent towards picking the faults of one another. Trust me, none of us is a saint. So let us put up with each others faults.

Importantly, never cease to remind each other about Allah especially when you notice a derailment. Remember, the best companions are those that enter into a relationship for Allah's sake & depart for His sake too. Do not relent on your efforts to guide each other.

Good attitude and kindness to each other is a key binder. So many men are lacking in this. So many men do not see their wives as friends and as confidantes. So many are not romantic & kind. We all have to do better than we are. This is the only way we can build happy homes.

When we allow Shaytan to hug his foot soldiers, that means we have failed in keeping our homes. So many broken homes these days and we expect the society to move forward? Have we forgotten that a home is the tiniest, yet most significant unit of the society?

When we allow the homes to break, we are inadvertently breaking the entire society.

Let us each play our roles and give our society life by creating happy homes.