Thread by @amandadeibert

It’s #ComingOutDay2020 and I will share my own coming out story. It wasn’t pleasant. I am sharing it in case you are in a position where coming out is scary or painful, you aren’t alone. (1/19)

I figured out that I was attracted to other girls when I was in high school and slept with a couple during that time. Shout out to beautiful early aught goth babes. Thank you for your services. 😉 (2/19)

In college I had my first serious girlfriend... & I went home for vacation to visit my grandparents- my closest relatives, as my mom died when I was 14 & I didn’t know my father (and my stepfather & stepmother had kicked me out of their home, but that’s a different story) (3/19)

My grandmother took me out to lunch and she was acting super strange and emotional. We were eating egg drop soup which is like... her fav comfort food and she was barely looking at it or me. As a kid who had seen a lot of death and trauma I was worried. (4/19)

She then drove me to the beach (they live on the coast) and sat in the car. She asked me if I was on drugs. I stared at her with my “full scholarship to college because of my GPA and test scores” mouth agape. “I’ve tried pot? What on earth is this?” (5/19)

Then she asked me if I was into witchcraft. Again I was SUPER confused. It came out: I’d been reading Harry Potter as a fun downtime book while in my freshman year. Me: “you know it’s a fictional children’s book about a boy wizard right?” (5/19)

She was very into how evil it must be. I was 18 and found the books, though young, deeply relatable as a young orphan who had been through a lot of abuse and also felt like a lost outsider in a new world when I went to college. But more importantly, what was this?! (6/19)

Then she finally got to it: “I think you have a fascination with homosexuality. You befriend everyone gay.” ME: “I’m a drama major. Of course a lot of my friends are gay.” HER: “Is there anything you want to tell me?” (7/19)

Me deep breath. And then, I think because we had been talking about Harry Potter I said the MOST awkward thing: “I wasn’t planning to tell you this yet, but I am a practicing lesbian.” (8/19)

Practicing. I said “practicing” like it was a religion. May as well have said: I worship at the temple of pussy. I’m a priestess of cunnilingus. TO MY GRANDMA (9/19)

And oh she NOTICED: “practicing?! Does that mean you’ve had sex?”

Me inside my dyyyying head: oh fuuuuuuucck (10/19)

So... then I had to say “yes” and then it was days of nonstop fighting and crying with both of my grandparents. (11/19)

And my grandfather saying things like “I thought you wanted to have children.” And my grandma saying “she could adopt” and my grandfather saying “I don’t want someon’s leftovers” to me. An orphan. (12/19)

I left the country to study abroad and he sent me letters about how even Hitler found people to agree with him. Which was confusingly a flip of who would have been on which side... but hey, look you don’t even need the Internet to get weird Hitler analogies (13/19)

My girlfriend at the time’s mom (she’s still in my life as that ex is one of my best friends in true lesbian tradition) sent him a lovely letter about how happy she was her daughter found someone who was kind and loving and made her happy. She sent a copy to me. (14/19)

It took MANY, Many Years for things to get better. But in the meantime I found people who loved me and accepted me just as I am. Even a decade later when I told them I was marrying @CatStaggs my grandma started crying and hung up on me. (15/19)

But after we had our daughter.... 5 years ago. Things changed pretty dramatically. They are much more loving and accepting of my family. My grandma even came to visit. She had NEVER set foot in any of my homes after I came out. I was 18 then and 32 when I had my daughter. (16/19)

Things are really good with them now. We all talk every week and they use “Mommy” and “Mama” like everyone else when talking with the kiddo. It doesn’t always get better. But it can. (17/19)

Most importantly being open about who you are gives you a chance to find people who REALLY love you. There are plenty. You owe no one your coming out. Do it if and when you are ready. Know that you will find good people. You are enough. You are perfect. ❤️ (18/19)

Also, the Temple of the Pussy is a very open cult ... wide open... and always accepting of new members (19/19)