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kilgore trout, acting president Profile picture
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12 Oct, 4 tweets, 1 min read
another day wasted on shitposting and massaging the kooks, 4.55% of his time remaining to save his own ass flushed down the tubes
keep it up sir you’re using your time great Image
shitpost away! Image
today’s penalty for shitposting the day away is 4.76%

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More from @KT_So_It_Goes

kilgore trout, acting president Profile picture
14 Oct
the latest thing is so out of place and time it’s clearly a leftover relic of the half-baked plan to try to re-run the hillary’s emails playbook on biden throughout all of 2020 but then they stuck the dynamite down their pants by getting trump impeached & had to mothball it
now it’s hail mary time with nothing left to lose so they’re rummaging around in the closet tossing out anything they have sitting around regardless of whether it actually makes any sense in the political moment or whether it backfires horribly
instead of the big jim comey moment they dreamed up they get the extremely online president who spends his days shitposting fever dreams through a pandemic about hillary & obama blowing up navy seals rambling on about bizarre conspiracies involving a now-sympathetic hunter biden
Read 7 tweets
kilgore trout, acting president Profile picture
12 Oct
it’s crystal clear the task force exists as a prop for the white house to purposefully contradict and hang out for public floggings. he’d be infinitely more impactful resigning forcefully & letting biden extend him an offer to be his covid czar or something of the like
there are three weeks left and it’s not as if trump is gonna suddenly take his counsel after the election in the lame duck period. he can better serve by working proactively on the biden transition team
once the president starts manipulating your own words to become praise of him for something he did the polar opposite of, it’s time to go. you’re being used and allowing it to happen.
Read 4 tweets
kilgore trout, acting president Profile picture
30 Sep
TRUMP: they’re throwing bags in the river. you did the logan act on me with barack and everybody saw today what hillary did

WIFE (blissfully offline): what the fuck is he talking about

ME (shamefully versed in lore of the fox news cinematic universe): I have no fuckin idea
it’s my weird hobby to keep close tabs on all the weird alternate-reality fan fiction the MAGA kooks like to communicate in - I feel like I keep up with better than 90% of it - and he legitimately lost me. I cannot imagine seeing that as someone without internet brain
big distinction between internet brain & internet poisoning: if you’re highly aware internet politics is a bunch of weirdass shit that creeps out normal people if you start babbling in it and so you edit yourself, that’s internet brain. if you don’t edit yourself, you’re poisoned
Read 4 tweets
kilgore trout, acting president Profile picture
24 Sep
personally I suggest we all chip in to buy ads on fox news encouraging the president to take up heavy smoking by pointing out joe biden is too much of a pussy to do it
FIVE PACKS A DAY LIKE A REAL MAN SIR THE REVIEWS ON YOUR LUNGPOWER ARE INCREDIBLE
NO NO DON’T STAND UP SITTING CONSTANTLY IS HEALTHIER HERE HAVE THIS PITCHER OF FRY TRAP OIL AND RELAX
Read 5 tweets
kilgore trout, acting president Profile picture
18 Sep
joe biden can’t leave the basement without pooping in his cereal bowl and wearing it like a helmet also he can perfectly recite a memorized series of complex questions and answers on live tv for two hours
ten minutes to WAP
I just love that it would never occur to the real hard working american understanding trump campaign to say jesus christ we are getting absolutely bloody clobbered out here maybe it’s time to try doing some hard WORK
Read 5 tweets
kilgore trout, acting president Profile picture
17 Sep
in a way all this frequency-hopping culture war bait is useful because you can identify people who truly don’t give a shit about anything because they will never ever say “I don’t give a shit about this thing”; they will always loudly participate in the giving a shit
I JUST FOUND OUT ABOUT GOYA AND I AM OUTRAGED I MEAN PAW PATROL I MEAN UH THAT RACE EDUCATION THING
it’s always the same 300 fuckin weirdos and their 10,000 toadies. every damn time.
Read 5 tweets

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