Thread by @Dravidan_dk

Marriage..

-Periyar

Married couple should behave to each other like bosom
friends. In any matter, the bridegroom should not have the vanity that he is
the husband. The bride also should behave in such a manner as not to think of
herself as her husband's slave and cook.

Married couple should not be hasty in bringing forth children. It will be good
if children are born at least three years after the marriage.
Married people should spend according to what they earn. They should not
borrow. Even if the income be meagre,

they should save at least a little. This
is what I would call discipline in life.
Married people should have a helpful bent of mind. Even if they cannot do
good, they should desist from doing harm.

A smaller number of children will
be conducive to a good and honest life and a life of comfort.
Married people should endeavour by all means to adapt their life to the
present day conditions of the world. Forgetting the world to come, they should do what is required for life now

The terms, ‘husband’ and ‘wife’ are inappropriate. They are only companions
and partners. One does not slave for the other. They both have equal status.
Only when there is an opportunity for freedom of love, does a country or
society show enrichment in knowledge,

affection, culture, and compassion.
Where love by compulsion exists, only brutality and slavishness grow.
Finding each other indispensable in life, is the mark of a lofty kind of love.
No book of ethical conduct,

or scripture preaches that a child-wife should be
fettered by bonds of marriage and plunged into family life, when she is not
prepared for it by age, and entrusted to the shackled guardianship of the
husband.

Both the citizens and the police should have the right to legally proceed
against those connected with unlawful marriages.
A wedding should be contracted only on the principle of the equality of the
sexes, and equality of treatment. Otherwise,

it is better that women live alone,
without ‘holy matrimony’. Why should woman be slave to man?
Wedding expenses should not go beyond 10 or 15 days average income of the
people. Another change is that the number of days of the wedding
celebrations should be reduced.

I don't accept the words, ‘wedding’, or ‘marriage’. I term it only as a contract
for companionship in life. For such a contract, except for an oath, and if
necessary, a proof of registration of the contract where is the need for other
ceremonies?

Why should there be waste of mental effort, time, money,enthusiasm and energy on that count?
Because of irrational and extravagant wedding expenses for two or three days
for gaining the approbation of a few, the wedding couple or their families
suffer for a long time in debt

It is enough, if the man and the woman sign and declare at the Registrar's
Office that they have become ‘companions for life’. Such a wedding on the
basis of a mere signature has more dignity, advantage and independence.

We need not follow traditional customs of marriage. Observances in
accordance with the spirit of the time and society and the present advance of
knowledge should be established. If we have to follow the ways of a
particular period for all times,

then it is evident that we have not grown in
knowledge.
The ‘Self-respect Marriage’ is the result of the spirit of inquiry.
Marriage does not concern the wedding couple only. It is linked with the
progress of the nation.

-Periyar.

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