**BREAKING**
The Prime Mole admits that insufficient garlic in the UK’s ‘oven ready’ meal deal offer is likely to be unpalatable to the EU. “I prefer to think it will now taste more like an exciting bushtucker trial with choice cuts of Kangaroo and Camel.” #NoDeal#BrexitReality
The PM continues: “We have not made progress with the EU. Let’s not say ‘No Deal’, but rather the ‘Australia Option’. I am making alternative arrangements as we speak - I have ordered Oz style PPE from a ‘mate’ and will now make preparations to enter the jungle on WTO terms...”