Thread by @JoshuaCypess

1/ People are defending Toobin?! Normally I wouldn't comment on something disgusting/NSFW but I've spent the last year immersed in the issue of gender safety & equity, in work-spaces & in communities, and this is a textbook case to unpack

And I'm a cishet man. I must speak up

2/ His behavior was not 'embarrassing,' it was unsafe. It's not normal; people are comparing it to going to the bathroom on zoom - nope. That's involuntary & necessary human behavior (and yet, can be unsafe if ppl expose themselves purposefully)

3/ Nobody unwilling can be forced to watch another person's sexual acts in a work or public space

The only positive spin on his behavior is that he's an addict & needs to enter recovery before he can be considered safe around others.

(NSFW link:
en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Indecent_…

4/ I don't see his defenders using 'addict' language; the men (mainly) describe this as an 'accident' and even that he's a victim of embarrassment.

Those people should be put on a watch-list; they are enablers of abusive behavior & it's as damning as donning a RedHat

5/ Because let's be clear, outside of addiction, this is knowingly abusive behavior. Saying it's 'reckless' or 'mistaken' is removing the agency of a bad actor.

Even without knowing his bio, we'd need to assume this person is a menace to others (b/c this is NOT NORMAL behavior!)

6/ Toobin's history is filled with sexually abusive behavior, like, while married to another person, demanding his lover have an abortion. When she didn't, he refused to support the child.
abovethelaw.com/2010/05/the-je…

7/ This meant his lover needed to force him to take a paternity test to provide child support.

This is the context for this week.

[Also, I'm a NYer reader, for decades, and I'm appalled that someone who behaved like this would be on their staff]

nytimes.com/2012/02/19/nyr…

8/ There are other instances and actions out there that provide even more context for Toobin being a serial abuser

I need to emphasize: this is what an abuser acts like. They hurt others & the evidence comes out in hints & murmurs

nydailynews.com/entertainment/…

9/ Most of the abusers I've fought have convenient cover stories to allow enablers to explain away the crimes & sins. Remember "locker room talk" (as if real men talk about casual rape, or that's it's OK)

The "boys will be boys" excusing is vile & it can't continue

10/ There's never just one action like his zoom exposure. There's ALWAYS many more; predators are like sharks, they are constantly looking for prey. It's never enough for them. They also spend their lives, power & resources to suppress, create cover stories and to groom enablers

11/ Beware about being an enabler. Predators love to adopt prominent & respected roles, like religious volunteer leaders, or prestigious institutions.

Defending him b/c he's a liberal or at the New Yorker? That's how he's groomed his enablers (see how well it worked!)

12/ Also see how defenses for him depend on "all guys do this" or "it was a mistake." The predator's cover is almost always a misinterpretation of cultural behavior. Like those men who hit their lovers and call it "BDSM" without understanding the notion of consent.

13/ Bottom line: Toobin is clearly an abusive person. I fear that his defenders are trying to defend the Patriarchy, or (worse) trying to protect their own misdeeds.

Rape culture is real, it's incredibly damaging, and we can't destroy it without seeing how it works.

14/ And this Toobin case is how it works. A sexual abuser exposed himself to his colleagues and is trying to use his enablers - because of his prestige or from implicit defense of the Patriarchy - to allow him to continue hurting others.

(This is good: theweek.com/articles/73705…

15/ @threadreaderapp please unroll.

@threader_app please compile.