There's also this really bad theory out there that a term isn't discriminatory if it's "true" sometimes. Lots of terms have dual meanings depending on how they're applied. The issue is when your label for a person assumes negatives not in evidence.
Take the word "bitch". Imagine if anyone could say "It's not sexist to say you're a bitch because you need to smile more. It's just true. " I had a guy once call me a "fish" to my face. He said it was okay because he's gay and just finds women disgusting. Obviously it's not.
Similarly, some people have a brother named Tom. He's "Uncle Tom" to their kids. But clearly this term has another meaning.
EVERY culture has pejoratives for the Other. However, when someone says "that term hurts. It's a slur". Just STOP USING THAT TERM around them. Insisting "no it's not a slur it's just true" is the mentally of every bigot who ever lived.
You cannot use words that are designed to hurt others then rationally expect them to show you more compassion than you displayed. If all you're doing is attacking and insulting a person, they have a right to not want to be around you. This isn't discrimination. It's boundaries.
The very fact that someone can use an insult in a given arena shows they have some measure of power. They might be powerless elsewhere, but the invective is an indication that at the moment they can say what they want and get away with it.
It's just a reality that, say, white people have more license to mouth off to cops than Black people do. It's obvious why. Because there's a huge power imbalance there that Black people feel much much much more acutely.
So when someone is blasting people with abuse daily, then screaming that they're oppressed, something is really wrong there. Because the truly oppressed don't have a voice. When they are given the chance to speak, they have to be polite, or else.
It is possible to express hurt and anger without being abusive. It's also understandable that people have to vent sometimes. But you have to be able to name that. You can experience oppression and also be a massive bully, because you're using those systems of oppression on others
So if someone says a word bothers them and you want to continue the conversation, try to stop using it. Don't use semantics as a bludgeon.
• • •
Missing some Tweet in this thread? You can try to
force a refresh
