Nobody knew who they were or... what they were doing...
Well, Druids have always been a weird sort. They were the first class to adopt what I call the "Asshole Neutral" alignment, which meant they sought balance in literally all things. Meaning their loyalty would shift on a dime if they thought a battle was unfair.

Just terrible.
Asshole Neutrals still abound, as you may remember if you have played Baldur's Gate 2. They're called Harpers now. And Harpers are insufferable prigs.
I still *really* want to play Pathfinder someday. I want to roll up an Alchemist. I have dark, dark thoughts in mind.
Alchemists are a class that really is all over the place, if you don't know what you're doing. They can go anywhere from front-line tank to throwing actual hand grenades. It's my opinion you've got to decide and specialize early on, or you're no good.
At first I wanted to go heavy with the artillery potion Alchemist until I saw the name-level kit that specialized in their physical mutagen. They have a special potion that can make them stronger, but the kit gives them an actual Mr. Hyde persona related to their mutagen.
Basically, your Alchemist can Hulk out and become far stronger on their mutagen. But you have to actually create a secondary persona that (a) is of a different alignment than the Alchemist and (b) does not like the puny Alchemist AT ALL.

I love it.

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More from @TheSpoonyOne

5 Nov
One time I won a game of scrabble with the word "CRWTH."

Yes. It is a word.

I only knew that because I studied bardic stuff to get in character. My opponent was... rather vulgar.
A crwth is a pile of crap bowed string instrument, and beside bagpipes, the most likely instrument to get a bard lynched within seconds was the crwth.

I presume the crwth is of Welsh design, mainly because it's horrible and the Welsh have not yet invented vowels.
The Welsh language can be charitably described as what would happen if a Klingon tried eating a handful of powdered chalk and suddenly took a truncheon to the larynx while trying to swallow it.
Read 7 tweets
3 Nov
Okay, I really don't get this Damien Priest guy. First off, this fucking name. Damien Priest. Jericho Caine. Darkshade Exorcist. Fucking spare me.

And then there's this "Archer of Infamy" thing. What in the hell is that supposed to mean? He shoots an invisible bow. At nothing.
Are we supposed to infer that he actually can shoot a bow if he wanted? I really want to know. Otherwise why is he calling himself an Archer of Infamy? Is that supposed to scare me?
It'd be like if I went into the ring shooting an invisible sniper rifle for no reason and calling myself Anton Mephisto, the Sniper of Disdain.
Read 4 tweets
3 Nov
Yeah, well hold off a while longer. And there've been some massive lopsided elections, so it'd really have to be something to stand out.

*Thomas Jefferson won 92% of the electoral vote in 1804

*Lincoln took 91% of the electoral vote in 1864

*Nixon won 520-17-1 in 1972.
And, as you mentioned, Reagan beat the *shit* out of Jimmy Carter (489-49) and Walter Mondale (525-13!!)
I mean, look at this. Minnesota, the *fuck* are you doing? Image
Read 5 tweets
2 Nov
The appeal of the Monk class is also its primary downside: they're the total package when it comes to ass-kicking. You can't disarm a Monk... at least, not without making a huge mess.

That means they don't have much interest in magic swag, or even money in general.
And it's not like you're ever likely to find magic Monk gear outside of their homeland. That means the Monk can stay away from any potential arguments in splitting up the loot. From an upgrade perspective, they're no-maintenance.
The downside is that you never really get to play with the magic loot. This really sucks, especially if you're going Monk in one of the videogames; treasure and magic weapons or armor will be everywhere, and you'll have no interest at all in it.
Read 5 tweets
8 Jun 19
Ah, I see the Dark Powers have finally pulled Trump into Ravenloft. About damn time.
I picture Trump's darkrealm Yugeoslavia appearing next to Darkon. Azalin Rex looks out the window and is like "you have got to be fucking kidding me."
Trump spends all day doddering around the darkrealm sucking at golf, CONSTANTLY shanking drives right into Azalin's tower window.

He's trapped in the darkrealm, of course, but he's the only darklord who can't seal his borders against invasion.
Read 10 tweets
25 Jan 19
United States, Canada, Mexico, Panama...
🇺🇸 🇨🇦 🇲🇽 🇵🇦 🇭🇹 🇯🇲 🇵🇪
🇩🇴🇨🇺 🇧🇶 🇬🇱 🇸🇻 too!
🇵🇷 🇨🇴 🇻🇪 🇭🇳 🇬🇾 and still
🇬🇹 🇧🇴 🇦🇷 🇪🇨 🇨🇱 🇧🇷
Read 9 tweets

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