Thread by @cppinvest

1/ Last week The Second Biggest Idiot to Occupy a State House (BIOSH2) mandated that all MA residents MUST wear a mask at all times when outside the home, else one risks getting fined $300. You’re probably sitting there wondering, “how stupid can he be?” Allow me to show you.

2/ In the past two weeks, we’ve had 16,000 positive cases and 164,000 total since The Worst Plague of All Time graced our shores. BIOSH2 probably looks at this chart and says: “How many dumb conclusions can I draw from it?”

3/ Of those 16k cases, 83% were in the 0-59 age group. Those 16k cases have resulted in a grand total of. . . 185 hospitalizations. 73% of the hospitalizations over the past two weeks were in the 60+ cohort and 10% in the 50-59, proving that younger peeps don’t really suffer.

4/ Put it this way: 31 people under the age of 50 needed to be hospitalized due to the COVID over the past two weeks. MA has a population of 6.7mm. That’s 0.00001494% of our population under 50 that is debilitated by The Worst Plague of All Time.

5/ Here’s statewide hospitalizations since inception for those of you in Rancho Cucamonga that need pictures.

6/ MA is arguably the healthcare capital of the US. I mean HARVARD is here for god’s sake, so how good are we? *pats self on back*. Sure would be a shame if we stressed the nation’s best healthcare center, right? Yeah, well, not even close.

7/ What has BIOSH2 all worked up? I know, Deaths! Who wants to die, especially now with Joe Biden on the cusp of solving all mankind’s problems?

91% of all deaths in the 60+ cohort these past two weeks and 78% over 70.

8/ Time now for my personal COVID tale. A month ago, I received a call from the MA COVID tracing center that “someone I had contact with on Sunday night” tested positive for the ‘Rona. Odd, said I, since I didn’t leave my apartment on Sunday, but what the hey, I’ll play along.

9/ “Your data is wrong,” said I, and “I think I know who it was” (I did). “We can’t tell you who it was due to privacy concerns.” Fair enough. But your data is still wrong, and I know when I was last in touch with this person.

10/ Then the Contact Doofus reminded me of my obligations to self-quarantine. I read him the CDC guidelines, told him I was within CDC guidance and to politely piss-off as I have a life to lead. Two hours later another call from the same number.

11/ Maybe they had an update I thought, encouraged by the thought of my government acting boldly in the face of grave danger (“Is there any other kind?”) Contact Doofus 2 (different voice) proceeds to read me the same script as Doofus 1.

12/ I cut him off. “Bro, I just told your colleague two hours ago, your data is bad. I wasn’t in contact with anyone last Sunday.” Doofus 2 then continues reading his script as if I had said nothing. I hang up the phone mid-script.

13/ Next day another call, same number. Great, I thought hopefully, more proactive quality government work. New Doofus (#3) reading the same script. When I heard “Sunday night” I hung up. Then I blocked the number.

14/ Last week I traveled to three “hotspot” states. Five airports. Ubers and cabs. Three meals per day out. Wore a mask the whole time. I was met at the gate upon my return by a stooge handing out reminders of what I needed to do. MA travel requirements are as follows:

15/ I took the paper and tossed it into the first trashcan I saw. I had a plan. You may have heard that “testing kits are in short supply” probably because of that nincompoop Trump who totes blew the response to The Greatest Plague of All Time.

16/ On my return, I called my Urgent care place and got a TeleMed appt with a nice nurse from Maine. Never asked why I wanted a test but did ask, in the face of The Greatest Testing Shortage in History, “can you get to Quincy in 20 minutes? I have three openings back-to-back.”

17/ I hopped in my Tesla which promptly broke down.

Kidding.

I get to the test center, registered, sat in my car, got tested three minutes later, and drove home. Took 30 minutes total. 36 hours later I got my negative test result (Eat Shit Charlie!)

18/ So, if testing is this widespread and available and easy, and I went to three hotspot states and survived, and our stats look pretty benign statewide, why do we have these utterly stupid rules?

19/ My daughter attends the only school of which I am aware that is in session five days per week. 800 students, 120 faculty. They've had five cases and zero student-to-anyone transmission. They have proven this can be managed. They also prove Charlie Baker is an idiot.

20/ Tests are widely available. Our hospitals are nowhere near full. A school is proving in real time how this can be managed. People and institutions can responsibly manage their affairs with stressing the state.

But our contact tracing is a joke and state idiots can’t get their acts together. So really, where is the problem? With responsible people or an incompetent bureaucracy? Look at these nursing home stats and explain to me why Baker doesn't have a specific plan for them?