At least twice a week, my friends and I question why we went to seminary and grad school only to be in conversation with folks who don’t take our work or what we do seriously enough to engage it in ways that will challenge them to be introspective and better.
It’s frustrating.
I got a few messages this morning from pastors who will stand with me privately but will never say the same things publicly. I’m used to that.
Still, it’s frustrating and cowardly AF.
Black feminist/womanist theological work is not easy, especially when you make it clear you’re not invested in any form of upholding patriarchal systems and powers, even when Black women can *benefit* from it.
We spent—and spend—a lot of time reading, writing and listening to the experiences of marginalized and vulnerable voices in order to craft theologies that are much more whole, affirming and full of life.
When it doesn’t center current powers, there will always be resistance.
I wish we lived in a world where Black cishet men were not the prominent voices and leaders in the Black religious space. They do not deserve to have that kind of power.
So we work to make a new world. And we take the hits that come with making it, too.
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If you've been following me awhile, you know that I talked about the rough fight against the bank to keep my mother's home and having to accept that, to keep fighting, would mean using the resources Mama left me and Uncle Dean and my BFF helped me to see she wouldn't want that.
But my prayer was always that the house would eventually go to a family of color. Mama was proud of integrating our neighborhood and having the largest house (5 bedrooms) at the time and the only one with a stone front! LOL!
Yall. I learned today that MAMA'S HOUSE WENT TO ANOTHER BLACK WOMAN!!! And not only is it any Black woman, it's another sister that my mother knew and respected!!! And not only is it another sister Mama knew and respected, they both have the same first name!!!
Today makes five years since I buried Mama and, last night, I had a dream about her!
Actually, because it was in real time, it wasn’t a dream. Mama *came* to me last night!
I got her approval on some things and she spoke her mind about other things that have happened lately.
One of my mother’s friends/coworkers was also in the dream because Mama was attending to something for him, as well. He made some joke about how she’s supposed to be resting. Mama said she’s resting and working.
I woke up and immediately wrote that down! That great cloud of witnesses we each have is resting from their labor *and* working on our behalf.
But can we really say White people haven’t been able to control the Black church when, as an institution, it is deeply sexist, classic homophobic, transphobic, ableist and, ultimately, anti-Black?
White “people” may not have control there but White supremacy definitely does.
*should say “classist, homophobic” not “classic homophobic”
I know folks are feeling a way about the right wing attacks on Warnock, the Black preaching tradition and how they are reminiscent to what happened to Jeremiah Wright during Obama’s run. But let’s not be ahistorical.
When tragedies and losses happen, let us resist the notion that God has allowed these things to tell us something.
While it may seem comforting in theory, it suggests that God has to hurt us to get our attention and, because the pain and traumatic experiences happen to some in ways it does not happen to others, it creates additional questions of favoritism and the inevitable "why".
"Why them and not someone else?"
"Why me?"
And though we like to believe it, there is no answer to these questions sufficient enough to understand and compensate for our losses and experiences.
I spent so much of my time online calling out the Black Church and Black male pastors for the ways they uphold and live into sexism and patriarchy. They *know* better; they just don’t *do* better.
The bar is so low and they all pass it.
I read and watched their reactions to #WAP, talking about the need for protection/dignity to be restored to their “queens”. They said nothing about protecting Meg weeks prior when she told us she was shot (and we knew who did it).
I spent so much time over the years writing essays, tweets and rants—trying to get these dudes to see us. To go beyond their thin “I support women in ministry” veneer to do real theological, ethical paradigm shifting.
The greatest advice I received was to stop wasting my time.
In all seriousness, the saddest part of seeing sisters have such negative reactions to #WAP is mainly because I know they’re lying. They’re either:
1) consistently smashing on the low and pretending to feel bad about it because they think that’s what they’re supposed to do.
2) consistently or periodically smashing on the low, feeling guilty about it and asking God to deliver them...until the next time when the cycle repeats itself.
3) secretly wishing they were 1 or 2 but are too afraid so they publicly ridicule while privately envying.
Black Christian women are some of the most repressed folks on the planet because, whether they’re getting it in or not, so many sisters can’t get out of their own heads to get out of their own way.