The blackest thing that ever happened is this Zoom call I’m on with my aunties, uncles and cousins.
First of all, everyone is hollering at the tip of their voices at the SAME TIME.
Except for one cousin, and my aunt is warning that “She ain’t loud like us... ion know what’s wrong with her”
Except for one cousin, and my aunt is warning that “She ain’t loud like us... ion know what’s wrong with her”
And everyone wants to know what everyone else cooked, like we don’t eat together all the time.
I kinda wanna know, too.
#
I kinda wanna know, too.
#
Now my uncle is praying but he don’t know how to work the phone.
Still praying.
Still praying.
He’s still praying.
15 squares on the Zoom
No TVs turned down.
Kids laughing
No one is on mute
15 squares on the Zoom
No TVs turned down.
Kids laughing
No one is on mute
He’s still praying. Our food is gonna be blessed AF
I’m bout to catch the Holy Ghost..
Or starve
I’m bout to catch the Holy Ghost..
Or starve
Finally finished.
Now he wants to know why I didn’t come see him the last time I was in NC.
Bruh, NC IS A HUGE STATE
Somebody’s snitching and I know who it is.
One cousin put up a virtual background and now my aunts think she knows magic.
Now he wants to know why I didn’t come see him the last time I was in NC.
Bruh, NC IS A HUGE STATE
Somebody’s snitching and I know who it is.
One cousin put up a virtual background and now my aunts think she knows magic.
23 squares now.
My cousin who snitched on me is here.
My favorite aunt too.
My nepher and his wife are having a boy.
My aunt did not wait for them to tell us.
My cousin who snitched on me is here.
My favorite aunt too.
My nepher and his wife are having a boy.
My aunt did not wait for them to tell us.
My other nephew is on active duty and was shipped away but his new wife logged on. Someone should have warned her. She wasn’t ready
My aunt wants to know how she keeps her skin so pretty.
Did you know that you need to use a mointurizer with... what they call that thang... SPF, if you’re in front of the computer a lot or your skin will dry out
Did you know that you need to use a mointurizer with... what they call that thang... SPF, if you’re in front of the computer a lot or your skin will dry out
My cousin created her own background but she was always smart with them computers.
Guess how tall my nephew Earvin is now? 5’7”!!!
He gon be a giant!
Guess how tall my nephew Earvin is now? 5’7”!!!
He gon be a giant!
My oldest aunt’s birthday is in January. If we’re lucky, we’ll have a new president by then.
If not, my aunt Eva and my uncle rob have agreed to go up there and “bust a move.”
And you know he has a leather cowboy hat, so...
If not, my aunt Eva and my uncle rob have agreed to go up there and “bust a move.”
And you know he has a leather cowboy hat, so...
My aunt Marvell caught Covid AND had spinal surgery.
She’s apologizing for not sending me my yearly supply of homemade jelly.
She’s gonna send some as soon as she recovers.
I accept her apology
She’s apologizing for not sending me my yearly supply of homemade jelly.
She’s gonna send some as soon as she recovers.
I accept her apology
Breaking news, they went to my cousin Kat’s graduation and guess what she did?
She cut off ALL HER HAIR.
Luckily she has the right shaped head.
My uncle Rob got them cowboy hats , though.
Did you know the COVID vaccine gonna have a contract tracer in it?
my aunt said it
She cut off ALL HER HAIR.
Luckily she has the right shaped head.
My uncle Rob got them cowboy hats , though.
Did you know the COVID vaccine gonna have a contract tracer in it?
my aunt said it
My uncle said he ain’t taking it til after a year.
My aunt told him not to worry—by the time they get to us, they won’t have none left.
My aunt told him not to worry—by the time they get to us, they won’t have none left.
You know who My aunt feels sorry for?
Dr. Faucci.
She praying for that man.
Dr. Faucci.
She praying for that man.
Confession time:
My cousin Cicely is too sweet. We let her make it but we add water before the prayer.
God doesn’t want us to catch diabetes.
My uncles are talking about wealth-building along with spiritual, mental and emotional health.
The “each one teach one” has come out.
My cousin Cicely is too sweet. We let her make it but we add water before the prayer.
God doesn’t want us to catch diabetes.
My uncles are talking about wealth-building along with spiritual, mental and emotional health.
The “each one teach one” has come out.
My cousin Kat is eating on mute. Her head is shaped nice. She looks so disinterested. Her background is 🔥🔥
My aunts say not to mention “that man’s name” on this family Zoom. We gotta call him “45”
My aunts say not to mention “that man’s name” on this family Zoom. We gotta call him “45”
Also, my aunt says she should sell her oxtail seasoning but my uncle made these and they’re good.
But if he told you what he put in them, he’ll have to kill you.
My other aunt fell in love with ginger and started growing her own. Takes about 5 months.
But if he told you what he put in them, he’ll have to kill you.
My other aunt fell in love with ginger and started growing her own. Takes about 5 months.
She grows them on her deck. When she makes her smoothies, she puts ginger in it.
She liked Ginger ale ever since she was a kid.
Not that Canada Dry mess.
Also, my uncle Rob cooked a piece of salmon a foot and a half long.
My aunt say he lying. Ain’t no fish that big
She liked Ginger ale ever since she was a kid.
Not that Canada Dry mess.
Also, my uncle Rob cooked a piece of salmon a foot and a half long.
My aunt say he lying. Ain’t no fish that big
He’s never been in a Whole Foods. He wants to see one
My aunt says it ain’t nothing but a Piggly Wiggly for white people.
They take your WHOLE PAYCHECK for a little bit of food
My aunt says it ain’t nothing but a Piggly Wiggly for white people.
They take your WHOLE PAYCHECK for a little bit of food
They’re arguing about whether Jeff Bezos is the richest person in the world.
“Ask Mikey, he’ll know.”
“He is,” I answer.
I looked on the same machine they’re doing their Zoom calls from .
I still haven’t eaten
“Ask Mikey, he’ll know.”
“He is,” I answer.
I looked on the same machine they’re doing their Zoom calls from .
I still haven’t eaten
11 squares. I gotta go.
They’ll be here all night
I promise not to take the vaccine.
They’ll be here all night
I promise not to take the vaccine.
@michaelharriot: My other uncle is here.
He’s wearing a patent leather cowboy hat...
INSIDE.
My aunt keeps saying “You know @JoyAnnReid say Mikey is her favorite writer. Look at God!”
He’s wearing a patent leather cowboy hat...
INSIDE.
My aunt keeps saying “You know @JoyAnnReid say Mikey is her favorite writer. Look at God!”
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