Thread by @pfeld

Would anyone in the #screenwriting community like a thread on how I was taught to give notes as a development exec?

Holy crap in the 3 hours I spent on a #FemaleFilmmakers panel this blew up. Give me a second and I'll get to it!

Okay! Here we go! How I was taught to give notes as a development exec:

1. Ask why something happened.
2. Give evidentiary support and play dumb.
3. How do we reconcile it?

Sooo, 10ish years ago, when I started as in development, one of my first tasks was to write up notes for a film that my company was producing. So I typed up all the things I liked and didn't like about it.

My boss looked at my well organized, politely expressed list of notes and told me that my ideas were good, but the notes were NOT.

Why?

Because my list was all about ME. It wasn't about the film or the script, but how I would rewrite it. Those weren't effective notes because...

... I wasn't the writer.

The story that was being told was not my story. The prodco didn't invest $$$$$$ and time into my vision. They invested in this writer's skill, talent, and ideas. My notes needed to support the story this writer wanted to tell.

So first lesson, when you're giving notes to a friend or person in the #screenwriting community: you are not the writer of their script. You don't live in their interior world. Your notes aren't about you - they're about helping the writer tell the story THEY want to tell.

Back to me as a development asst: My boss instructed me to take every one of the bullet points on my initial list and turn it into a question. And not "Why don't you try this?" but a question that addresses the underlying issue that prompted my brilliant suggestion.

And therein lies the golden advice.

Ask.
Questions.

So I'm sure you're thinking, "That sounds nice, but how do we even do that when the 3rd act break makes NO SENSE?!?!? And I could TOTALLY fix it! But this writer CAN'T SEE IT AAAAAAAAAH! IT WOULD BE SO MUCH EASIER!!"

You make them see what you're seeing through asking questions.

I'll give you an example (I'm making this up on the fly btw)

Original note: Your turn into the third act makes no sense. Cindy said over and over at the beginning that she'd never want to be anyone's housewife, so you should make her turn down Zorp's offer of marriage

Even if the original note is 💯, in the writer's mind, Cindy accepts Zorp's proposal. That's the route they've chosen, so it's where we're going. As note-givers, our goal is to make the road of THEIR story as smooth as possible.

But what if they're CLEARLY going the wrong way?!

That's where the questions come in.

Buckle up and get ready to backseat drive.

Step 1. Ask why something happened.

The original suggestion becomes: Why doesn't Cindy turn down Zorp's offer of marriage?

That's not enough. The writer has 10,000 reasons: they're in love, it's romantic, because the Forturon galaxy needs a new queen.

Step 2? Play dumb.

"Why does Cindy accept Zorp's proposal? I'm confused because at the beginning, she said 3 times that she didn't want to be a housewife and we all know that on Zorp's planet, she'd be expected to stay at home."

A few things abt this new note:

1. I've incorporated evidence FROM THE SCRIPT re: why this choice makes no sense. When you're giving notes, it should never be about the Rules(tm) (even if it is). Rules are meant to be broken. Focus on the story being told.

If a choice doesn't work, you shouldn't have to look at Robert McKee or Blake Snyder to explain why. I guarantee there's a story reason behind it. If you can't figure out what it is, don't give the note...

... or if you're close with the person, you can say - "Hey, something about this part doesn't quite work for me. Why did you choose to do XYZ?" I guarantee they'll have a reason and maybe that convo will lead to a good note. But rly, only do this if you're close with the person.

2. I also, in the note, put the onus on ME. *I'm* confused. With this phrasing, I'm not denigrating their work, I'm opening conversation. I'm asking: "tell me why you made this choice." It creates an atmosphere of collaboration, with the writer at the wheel.

3. Also, it acknowledges that what the writer says is canon. I'm not saying, "Change your story." I'm saying, "It seems like this rule you created is being broken."

You could end your note there if you don't have any ideas, but if you have a solution, that brings us to step 3...

"How can we reconcile this?"

Ask this question after your initial question + evidentiary support. And here, you can give suggestions phrased like questions with their own EVIDENTIARY SUPPORT ⬅️ that is key. Make sure your suggestion has basis in the script.

And I would recommend giving multiple suggestions so it gives the writer a sense of choice + moreu nderstanding of what isn't working. It's not that you don't think they're in love, it's that the reality of marriage seems to be counter what the protag wants.

In our example:

Why does Cindy accept Zorp's proposal? I'm confused because at the beginning, she said 3 times that she didn't want to be a housewife and we all know that on Zorp's planet, she'd be expected to stay at home. How can we reconcile this? On page 32, Cindy said...

she longed for adventure, so maybe she sees marrying Zorp as an adventure. Or is being a housewife in the Forturon galaxy different from on Earth? If so, can we highlight that a little more? Or can we add a scene showing how being a Forturon housewife is exactly what Cindy wants?

Alternatively, is there a way to show Cindy struggling more with her decision to accept Zorp's proposal?

And I could go on and on. The point of all this is that when you're giving notes, you aren't the one who matters. The writer you're speaking to does.

Your job isn't to fashion the writer's world to your own vision, but to help them create the BEST VERSION of THEIR world.

The most effective way to do this is to come at the writer with a sense of curiosity and collaboration.

So ask questions, make suggestions based in the world of the script, and be prepared to realize that you actually WERE confused and the writer clearing up something that happened in act 1 makes your 🔥 suggestions 100% irrelevant.

Also, I use the royal we bc when I was in development, I was part of the production team so it was a "we" problem.

It is a little weird when I'm giving notes on a friend's script, but I like using it bc of how it implies collaboration.

But I would encourage EVERYONE to use the word "maybe" before a suggestion that's not framed as a question - it shows that you acknowledge the writer is in charge and your note is just that, a suggestion.

the thread broke, but it's all right here (or just scroll down some!):

https://twitter.com/pfeld/status/1333213517365739520

Hi 300+ new followers! 🤯I left development earlier this year to focus on my writing/directing. If you want to know what I do, check out my R-rated audio romcom pilot (live on Apple Podcasts and Spotify), How to Fall in Love the Hard Way: listen.howtofallinlovethehardway.com

Also, I'm always happy to answer any questions about writing, filmmaking, cooking, running a marathon, being on Jeopardy, etc.