Thread by @Lcars24

There is no distinctly American criminal class—except Congress.
—Mark Twain

There are men running governments who shouldn't be allowed to play with matches.
—Will Rogers

You can lead a man to Congress, but you can't make him think.
—Milton Berle

How can one person be on the wrong side of everything in history?
—Trevor Noah, 09/25/17, reacting to the Dotard’s NFL rant in Alabama

Donald Trump is a problem solver the way Godzilla is a city planner.
—Trevor Noah

Evil is relatively rare. Ignorance is epidemic.
—Jon Stewart

Always assume incompetence before looking for conspiracy.
—Niccolo Machiavelli

In whose delusional mind is democracy made “better” by allowing wealthy people to control more of it?
—Jon Stewart

We must, together as a nation, stop watching Fox.
—Jon Stewart

They may want to insist that corporations are people but corporations are certainly not Americans.
—Jon Stewart

I'll believe corporations are people when Texas executes one.
—Bill Moyers

Mr. President, since all my success is clearly based on talking about you, if you really want to take me down, there’s an obvious way: Resign!
―Stephen Colbert

With up to 280 characters for his resignation tweet, Trump has sufficient room to blame Obama, Hillary, whomever.

Donald Trump is the Honey Boo Boo of rich people.
—Morgan Freeman

I want to see the original long-form certificate of Donald Trump's Republican registration.
—Rand Paul

Half of the American people have never read a newspaper. Half never voted for president. One hopes it is the same half.
—Gore Vidal

The best argument against democracy is a five-minute conversation with the average voter.
—Winston Churchill

The most common way people give up their power is by thinking they don't have any.
—Alice Walker

Propaganda is amazing. People can be led to believe anything.
—Alice Walker

I'm sure we the American people are the butt of jokes by those in power.
—Alice Walker

Three great forces rule the world: stupidity, fear, and greed.
—Albert Einstein

Earth is the insane asylum of the universe.
—Albert Einstein

Only two things are infinite, the universe and human stupidity, and I'm not sure about the former.
—Albert Einstein

A fool and his money are soon elected.
—Will Rogers

I don't approve of political jokes; I have seen too many of them get elected.
—Jon Stewart

The only thing more dangerous than ignorance is arrogance.
—Albert Einstein

Is it ignorance or apathy? Hey, I don't know, and I don't care.
—Jimmy Buffett

War is wretched beyond description, and only a fool or a fraud could sentimentalize its cruel reality.
—John McCain

War is a racket.
—Smedley D. Butler, retired USMC Major General and two-time Medal of Honor recipient

When you watch these Republican debates, you know WHY we have to invest in mental health.
—Bernie Sanders

Other countries care for their mentally ill. Making them debate on TV is just cruel.
—Andy Borowitz

Give a man a fish, and he will eat for a day. Give a man Twitter, and he will forget to eat and starve to death.
—Andy Borowitz

The hardest thing about life is that every now and then you have to do things so you have something to tweet about.
—Andy Borowitz

History will remember the current U.S. Congress as those who chose not to rein in a known incompetent lunatic.
—Evan Handler

Donald Trump has achieved nothing besides sowing discord and racial tension. He's also really hard to look at.
—Chelsea Handler

He is a low-information voter who became President.
—Jon Favreau, former Obama speechwriter, referring to Donald Trump, 5/12/17

Donald Trump is the Honey Boo Boo of rich people.
—Morgan Freeman