Thread by @QuinnyPig

Good morning, and welcome to Day One of #reinvent.

This is my #requinnvent summary / livetweet / nonsense event, and this thread will cover @ajassy's 3 hour keynote this morning.

Zach Persons is jamming out from an undisclosed location somewhere in @ajassy's labyrinthine basement.

The #reinvent crowd excitement here is reaching a fever pitch.

I'm missing #reinvent in Las Vegas so I've trained @Quinnypiglet to make bad coffee, then take the pot away when I want more. Once I give up, she pushes me aside to replenish the pot, and the cycle continues.

And we're off with either an intro video or a super fast paced keynote.

And @ajassy takes the #reinvent stage from his house. "Why the f**k did I take home decorating advice from Dr. Matt Wood?!" he asks himself.

https://twitter.com/QuinnyPig/status/1333623754178633731

Of all the amazing things we'll see this morning, by far the most impressive is @ajassy still fitting into his blazer post-quarantine. #reinvent

Wow. @ajassy starts off talking about racial justice and the murder of Breonna Taylor, making sure to #SayHerName. Respect.

THANK YOU. @ajassy says what I keep pointing out in analyst threads: "It's hard to sustain super high growth rates when we're talking about tens of billions of dollars." That said, "only" 29% YoY growth is the kind of problem I'd like to have. #reinvent

This chart surprises me something fierce. #reinvent

"How can we kick Google right in the wibbly bits?"

"I know. Pass me the Powerpoint deck." #reinvent

Apparently Marketing's COVID-19 campaign has been a success. #darkhumor

Now @ajassy points out that the pandemic accelerated cloud adoption by several years.

@ajassy does *not* point out that your last four CIOs held it back by twice that much.

"Don't wait too long to #reinvent." Unclear whether he's talking about the conference, the building, the transformation, or the breakfast cereal.

Now @ajassy is talking about the 8 keys it takes to "#reinvent."

1. Multiple hotels.
2. A broken registration system.
3. Bad coffee.
4. Chicken wings.
5. A sarcastic number of releases.
6. A compression algorithm for experience.
7. @Werner
8. Systems Manager Session Manager

I'm just going to take a quick pause here to point out that despite my best efforts to the contrary, I find myself really liking @ajassy.

https://twitter.com/QuinnyPig/status/1333804250405638144

My problem with the current spiel on "how to #reinvent" is that companies will cherry-pick what they see @awscloud doing, but not build the culture to enable those things to succeed.

"Why would you pick a less capable platform" asks the CEO whose company just launched "RedHat OpenShift on AWS" a month ago. #reinvent

And @ajassy welcomes the first guest, Lori Beer, CIO at JP Morgan Chase.

There's "big" and there's "beyond comprehension" big.

I would like to look at your @awscloud bill please. I have a suggestion or two for you that'll save you approximately Norway's GDP. #alwaysbeclosing

Technology is hard, but it's not "pivot a 250K person highly regulated company and its entire culture to embrace cloud" hard. This is an amazing story. #reinvent

A little bird has tipped me off that @awscloud didn't pre-record this. I'd argue they should have (it's way less stressful), but it's completely live. #reinvent

And it pivots to a SageMaker story. #reinvent

No, go back to the culture, not @FisherPrice's ML offering! #reinvent

Now back to @ajassy. He's positively itching to hurl #reinvent service releases at us.

Now a video from Jerry Hunter, SVP of Engineering at @Snap.

Jerry's apparently the former head of infrastructure at @awscloud! Then went to @Snap to run engineering.

There's a 60% chance that @ajassy responded to the resignation with "Oh, Snap!"

Now talking about EC2 instances. Just launched D3 and D3en. #reinvent

You can't have a keynote in 2020 without talking about COVID, and you can't have an @awscloud keynote without talking about Nitro. #reinvent

C6gn on the way too. #reinvent

"We're going to continue to do lots of business with both Intel and AMD for the foreseeable future" quietly threatens @ajassy, putting them both on notice. #reinvent

C6gn is compute and network heavy. Park two of them in different AZs and at line rate they'll cost you 25¢ a second in data transfer. You may want to take my word for it.

Hey, Duckbill Group client @honeycombio is referenced! I love this testimonial so much: duckbillgroup.com/clients/honeyc…

I will thank @ajassy to not mention "Alexa" again during this talk for annoying reasons. #reinvent

Last year they debuted their Inferentia chip, which I think is named after what the president has. #reinvent

Dammit there's a "Copacabana" joke in here that I can't quite get to.

I bet it's super gaudy. #reinvent

Introducing at #reinvent the @awscloud Trainium, a new custom chip for training workloads.

R&D budget for a custom chip: $500 million.
Naming that chip budget: $4

Finally something that's not multi-cloud, but worse. #reinvent

The container continuum. Way off to the left in another wing of @ajassy's house is RedHat OpenShift on AWS. #reinvent

Ooh, you can now run @awscloud ECS in your own data center with Amazon ECS Anywhere. #reinvent

Oof, that's an embarrasing typo! Imagine only having one letter difference between the two. @awscloud / @ajassy aren't that daft. Its real name is "Amazon EKS Anyhoo" as in "ECS Anywhere was available but we chose EKS Anyhoo." #reinvent

Note that they're open sourcing the EKS distro. You can run it on anything, anywhere. Anyhoo, back to @ajassy's keynote.

Who's using Lambda?

Everyone.

What are they using @awscloud Lambda for? Please do not ask that question.

Ah, it's public now! Billing granularity is now 1ms for Lambda invocations instead of 100ms. This will save a lot of money for small, frequently invoked functions, and almost none at all for my giant horrible ones because I am bad at programming. #reinvent

Big secret: nobody has a giant Lambda bill. We got to fix a $50K monthly Lambda spend for a customer recently and that was a real treat!

Their EC2 spend was... more.

Oh no. The line between Fargate and Lambda just got very confusing and blurry. #reinvent

HOLD MY TEA, I'MMA ONE-UP MY ROUTE 53 DATABASE!

A fully managed deployment system called "AWS Proton" because just like Electron it runs on RAM.

Except this is AWS's RAM, not ours. #reinvent

This is like CodeStar except with Proton you can integrate the build/deploy services you actually use. #reinvent

The DLC for this game is super expensive. #reinvent

I like how precisely @ajassy pronounces the final "s" in "on-premises."

Whoa, @DonMacAskill of @SmugMug (but more commonly spotted on Twitter) talking about the best tools to serve their customers. Rattled off the names of five @awscloud service teams that've bribed him. #reinvent

Okay. You're not going to pay much attention to this, but gp3 is the single biggest change for @awscloud customers this year from a billing perspective. I can't overstate how big / wonderful this is. #reinvent

io2 is stupidly overpowered. BUT THERE IS MORE

io2 Block Express. It's "the first SAN built for the cloud" says @ajassy, pointedly ignoring the @NetApp filer I bribed an @awscloud team to smuggle into us-east-1 back in 2015. #reinvent

I start my day with 3 sets of 12 reps of database heavy lifts. #reinvent

If you think @ajassy is shitting on Microsoft + Oracle databases, you should talk to a few of my customers. Andy's the head of marketing by comparison. #reinvent

Aurora is somehow @awscloud's fastest growing service. I spin a lot more functions and instances than I do databases. WTF are you people doing? #reinvent

"We like Aurora Serverless but we need faster scaling, multi-AZ, and just better all around. Introducing Aurora Serverless v2."

"v2" is what happens when that $4 naming budget meets a $6 contractor on @fiverr. #reinvent

Babelfish is an in-place translation layer. App thinks it's talking to MSSQL, your budget and infrastructure know it's Aurora PostgreSQL. If this works it'll save a customer of mine a few million bucks a year. #reinvent

They're also open sourcing it and making it work on all forms of PostgreSQL (pronounced post-gruh-SQUEAL). #reinvent

Oh FYI Lambda functions now can go to 10GB of RAM and 6 vCPUs. #reinvent

"Where should my data live?"

You should talk to my newsletter sponsor @ChaosSearch about that. I'll be doing a Q&A next week with one of their execs, but that's neither here nor there.

I say talk to ChaosSearch because it's increasingly the right answer to a lot of these.

We had Glue DataBrew, now Glue Elastic Views and other Glue News for youse. #reinvent

Now @ajassy is talking about @boomaero. Okay, this is cool. ROLL THE TAPE! #reinvent

I've gotta give @bscholl credit for the vision of a startup supersonic airliner company. Blake, can we chat on the podcast once the dust settles? #reinvent

HPC is apparently key to modern airplane design. That... is obvious now that he said it. #reinvent

First @ajassy, now @bscholl; there's a CEO shoestore somewhere I need to find. I hope @mike_julian is a customer. #reinvent

I wonder how @boomaero ROUTES those 53 million core hours to the proper database! #reinvent

And yeah, naming an airplane company "boom" after the thing you absolutely cannot say in an airport does highlight that @bscholl is indeed ex-Amazon. #reinvent

Now @ajassy is talking about data and ML on that data. Now @Intuit CTO Marianna Tessel to talk about ML without a trace of irony that they're data driven, yet named the company "intuit." #reinvent

I'm just waiting for @ajassy to announce "TensestFlow." I know I've said it before, but I'm still carrying a PyTorch for that joke. #reinvent

"I'm going to frame this in terms of asks of what we get from ML customers."

"Who are you and how did you get into my office" is my guess. #reinvent

So @ajassy just stumbled over a sentence, laughed it off, corrected, and moved on.

I don't recognize this version of him compared to some of his keynotes 5 years ago. He's put serious work into public speaking, and it definitely shows. #reinvent

Now it's time to talk about SageMaker some more.

SageMaker is a way of getting neophytes into Machine Learning in a simple, straightforward way which is why there are 40 services all called SageMaker that scare the bejeezus out of everyone. #reinvent

Uhhhhh... and now here's 41. "Data Wrangler." #reinvent

Forgive me, I'm a mouthy Jew from the east coast. #reinvent

I swear, someone at @awscloud had twins and named them both the same thing. #reinvent

https://twitter.com/Fitzoh/status/1333829932183642113?s=20

Now announcing SageMaker Feature Store which sells you nothing. Not to be confused with Marketplace, which sells you things you're not buying. #reinvent

I'm told @ajassy had to give this portion of the talk because there are one or two @awscloud VPs who set off the Fraud Detector alarms like crazy whenever they get within 200 yards. #reinvent

CodeGuru now supports Python, still charges you per line of analyzed code which is not terrific. #reinvent

Security Detector also does static security analysis.

...oh no.

@AzureDevOps: "We have the worst name."

@awscloud DevOps Guru: "Hah! We're going to get roasted so hard our souls turn to ash!"

"We identify operational issues to tell you what's wrong based upon what we've seen before!"

Here you go, @ajassy. I'll donate an Amazon DevOps Guru logo for you. #reInvent

I can only assume it bills per line of YAML. PAGING @IanColdwater to the courtesy bullshit line! #reinvent

As my dear friend @mattstratton says, "you can't buy DevOps" but now @awscloud would like to sell it to you. #reinvent

Ugh more QuickSight stuff. We did a dive into it; we *WANT* it to be great! We don't love paying @tableau prices!

It is very much Not There Yet. #reinvent

The @awscloud namers hate Google, so they make sure you can't google their product names. #reinvent

It's not just me, Amazon QuickSight Q! #reinvent

Please define "ML" in a way those hundred thousand customers won't contest. #reinvent

Now the CTO for FOX, Pete Cheesbrough, which until this moment I thought was a heinous mispronunciation of my colleague @petecheslock's name. #reinvent

"One question we get the most from VC firms is--" which of their portfolio companies you'll acquire without doing effective diligence? Just a guess...

Not that @awscloud has fallen for it, mind you.

#reinvent

Now stories about Amazon Connect, their Dialing for Dollars offering. #reinvent

Amazon Connect Wisdom. I got fired from a call-center once for using an early version of what would become Amazon Connect SmartAss instead. #reinvent

Now Amazon Connect Customer Profiles. Creepy has a new playground. #reinvent

"Pretend you're a hotel customer who has an angry customer call about last night's stay. You might respond differently if you knew that person's company reached out three days ago for a corporate event." This is the least-Amazonian thing I've ever heard @ajassy say. #reinvent

Excellent @awscloud service name of yesteryear, Contact Lens.

...and they make it worse rather than calling it something fun like "LASIK." #reinvent

Things customers have asked for...

Amazon Connect Tasks. Automates routine things. It's like Honeycode from the other side. #reinvent

Challenge accepted! Voice deepfakes are super easy these days if you have enough training content.

Say, three straight hours of #reinvent keynote.

"IVRs were helpful but customers hated them. That left the area rife for reinvention." --@ajassy

"The answer is all of them." Except presumably "cloud billing models." #reinvent

And BlackBerry is apparently now an automotive company. Sure, why not, it's as plausible a path as any for them. #reinvent

Healthcare is also coming along nicely in a time of cloud. #reinvent

Super irritated that @LastWeekinAWS wasn't a reference customer for this slide. #reinvent

And Manufacturing. Which leads to @carrier's Dave Gitlin.

"This relentless execution is what Amazon calls 'Day One.'"

They also call a building 'Day One.'

Every time someone goes on this long about food waste and pharma transport, they're about to try to convince me that BlockChain is a thing. #reinvent

Nope it's a new thing. They tie AWS services together like a sensible company, not a VC-backed embezzlement scheme. #reinvent

"Now let's talk about industrial processes" says @ajassy to a SaaS audience.

Introducing Amazon Monitron, a service that demonstrates why you don't give the job of naming a service to someone who's already put in their two week notice. #reinvent

I'm kidding. @ajassy wouldn't do that. There's clearly an alternate @awscloud naming explanation here. #reinvent

What the damn hell? "Amazon Lookout for Equipment?" #reinvent

I feel like @ajassy just named the service after the first thing he saw while touring an Amazon fulfillment center warehouse. #reinvent

Now the AWS Panorama Appliance. Turns dumb camera feeds into something smart so you don't have to redo your entire CCTV system. #reinvent

Of course there's an SDK. GO BUILD! #reinvent

And here's @riotgames talking about @awscloud Outposts.

Latency stops being a problem when the server rack is in your living room. #reinvent

"We believe in the fullness of time that companies will not have on-premises environment" says @ajassy while pointedly not mentioning how many enterprise customers still run mainframes. #reinvent

"A bunch of companies tried to redefine hybrid into what they already sell and it never went anywhere." --@ajassy
YES! This! #reinvent

"I want to be able to use the same on-prem tools to manage my cloud deployment."

Since I have nothing to sell: if you have any other path, take it. This treats the cloud as a dumb datacenter; it improves your DC at the expense of using the Cloud properly. #reinvent

"Well that's awesome!" lied customers to @ajassy. "But what about when I need to keep workloads on-prem but want to use AWS?"

"What, you think I'm going to ship you a rack?" joked @ajassy to someone with no sense of humor, and now we have @awscloud Outposts. #reinvent

"They're great but they're too big" whined the customer last #reinvent.

"Oh, let me just rip some servers out of the rack and ship THOSE to you" snapped @ajassy, again forgetting that Enterprises have zero sense of humor.

And so:

AWS managed servers. Comes in two new sizes, 1U and 2U. #reinvent

Now @ajassy lets me populate my wall map of @awscloud infra locations with a bunch of new pins.

Now @ajassy talks about the Snow Family.

I'm probably simple, but I still can't quite wrap my mind around "phone to tower" no longer being the bottleneck as much as "tower to @awscloud region." #reinvent

This is one of @ajassy's favorite song lyrics. Unfortunately it makes no sense because "googling" something means ending it. "Ending an ending" is poetic but devoid of meaning, like an @awscloud service name. #reinvent

"Google ending." And the platinum sponsor for this keynote was @killedbygoogle.

Enjoy the next three weeks of #reinvent!

This concludes this monstrous #requinnvent thread.

Sign up for daily evening email roundups at requinnvent.com. I have some videos to go prepare!

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