for only $180 mega knife dot com will send you a box of 24 mystery knives
mystery knives!!!!!!!
*decemberists voice* 24 mystery knives,
someone paypal me $180 so i can buy this and unbox it on video

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More from @chick_in_kiev

6 Dec
which is the worse couple of ds9 s7:
im sorts perversely enjoying the How Kai Winn Got Her Groove Back storyline
also, bitter drunk Damar is an amazing character
Read 4 tweets
5 Dec
well i did not have "guy who taught me Russian A in freshman year of college calling me a slut on twitter for wearing red lipstick" on my bingo card today
amazing stuff
hey @DCBFLegal come get your guy
Read 7 tweets
4 Dec
the replies to this are in the long term demonstrative of a harrowing erosion of even the barest faith in our democracy, but in the short term kind of nihilistically hilarious
i mean
theyre extremely mad he was once in a forum with pete buttegieg
Read 4 tweets
3 Dec
me, reading mary shelley's frankenstein: huh, the melodrama and extreme emotionality remind me of "the sorrows of young werther"

frankenstein's monster, a few chapters in: so i found a suitcase with "the sorrows of young werther" in it and read it and based my personality on it,
amazing that the monster is chilling in his hovel and someone just leaves a valise in the woods with goethe, plutarch and milton in it and its just never explained
frankenstein's monster in movies: *grunts, groans, shuffles*

frankenstein's monster in the book: *eloquent discourse for like a hundred pages straight, heartrendingly articulated emo laments, relays an entire subplot that could be its own novel about some people he stalked*
Read 4 tweets
3 Dec
stop!!!!!! ... it's Hammer time
young christopher lee could get it 24hr a day and twice on sunday
this lady's hair is extraordinary
Read 11 tweets
27 Nov
i finally finished bram stoker's DRACULA and regret to say that despite its towering reputation its kind of shit, as a book
too much:
-incomprehensible speechifying from Van Helsing in a weird clumsy iteration of a Dutchman's English
-chasing, and I cannot emphasize this enough, after boxes of dirt, for like the entire back half of the novel
-the phrase "I am but a poor weak woman"
-train schedules
not enough: -ACTUAL VAMPIRE STUFF beyond the kickass beginning in jonathan harker's journal. the Count gets like 3 scenes and the rest of the time its just sloppy friends chasing dirt boxes

-the entire potential of Renfield is completely squandered????? what was the point????
Read 6 tweets

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