if I invited you to a dog-lover’s club and told you half of the people in the club enjoy smashing puppies with a hammer as a hobby and the other half doesn’t enjoy it, do you think you’d join up and not expect to be considered a puppy smasher
OH YEAH I LOVE DOGS BUT NOT LIKE THAT I AM ONE OF THE GOOD ONES THATS WHY I STAY IN THE CLUB WITH THE BLOODY HAMMER FOLKS
NO I MEAN I GET ALONG WITH THEM FINE I DONT LIKE WHAT THEY DO TO PUPPIES BUT YOU KNOW AT THE END OF THE DAY WE ALL LOVE DOGS WE JUST EXPRESS IT DIFFERENTLY
YES I AM TROUBLED AND DISTURBED BY THEIR ACQUISITION OF JACKHAMMERS THIS IS NOT WHAT THE DOG LOVER’S CLUB IS ALL ABOUT BUT THERE ARE LEGITIMATE CONCERNS SOME PUPPIES MIGHT GROW UP TO BITE SOMEONE YOU KNOW. IT DOES HAPPEN.
WHAT AM I GOING TO DO LEAVE THE DOG LOVER’S CLUB AND START A CLUB WHERE NOBODY SMASHES PUPPIES I MEAN THAT IS NOT POSSIBLE I HAVE TO CAUCUS WITH SOMEONE SO IT IS THE PUPPY SMASHERS OR THE CAT LOVERS, I AM A DOG LOVER SO OBVIOUSLY I STAY IN
I HAVE SPOKEN OUT FORCEFULLY ABOUT NOT LIKING THE PUPPY SMASHING CLEARLY I AM NOT PART OF THAT ACTIVITY THERE IS LITERALLY NOTHING ELSE I CAN DO OK

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More from @KT_So_It_Goes

11 Dec
it’s so obvious I can’t believe it needs to be explained. if one person votes with a golf pencil in connecticut and another votes with a bic pen in nebraska, that’s it, throw out the results
clearly the endgame here is not an actual expectation that the court even hears this case but that owing to the nature of the discrepancies all voting must be administered by one central federal authority that will conveniently ensure the rules favor those who make them
under the argument texas is advancing there is no possible set of circumstances under which states could administer their own elections without creating instantly invalid circumstances by virtue of being administered differently
Read 4 tweets
10 Dec
doing the explain-whats-happening thing while watching home alone 2 with a 5 year old is an absolutely wild generational reality check
that’s an airport, they’re trying to get on the plane, you uh, you can’t do that anymore
that’s new york, yes exactly right that’s the statue of liberty. why? um well about a hundred years ago or a little more people used to come here on boats and they’d see that statue and know they were in a better country. that’s how we got here. now? uh well.
Read 9 tweets
9 Dec
*five minutes later* that case was pure shit boys, texas is where it’s at, biden is finished
red state has crack legal analyst “shipwreckedcrew” on the scotus beat, look out everyone
I read the whole article because I have a sickness and can’t get enough of dumpster diving for treasure into sad loser land and welp I can tell you it is an article
Read 5 tweets
8 Dec
I dunno maybe don’t use your kid as a prop to make his santa experience a centerpiece in your internet culture war would be my takeaway, tell him no big deal that wasn’t the real santa and put on an avengers movie and buy him a fuckin nerf gun like a well adjusted human
I AM SO TRIGGERED BY A DIFFERENT EXPERIENCE AND CONCERNED FOR THE FUTURE OF MY CHILD I WILL POST HIM ONLINE FOR OUTRAGE CLICKS, THAT WILL BE GOOD FOR HIM
these people are like the amish in that they’ve decided that nothing about society is allowed to be different than the experience they had and every new packet of info is an existential threat to their way of life, except militantly online
Read 5 tweets
8 Dec
can somebody check how much popcorn we have stockpiled
WE BOTH WANT TO BE SUCCESSFUL FASCISTS BUT IT ISN’T WORKING WHAT THE FUCK STEPHEN
“why won’t you let ted cruz help” is the funniest goddamn final hill to die on anyone could imagine
Read 5 tweets
7 Dec
THAT IS EXACTLY WHAT WE WANTED TRUMP WINS BY LOSING DON’T YOU SEE CHECKMATE
it is a mystery why any lawyer would try to win a case since apparently the secret to success in the legal system is losing as many times as possible in the most embarrassing fashions Image
trump has crossed the threshold of losing so much that there’s now a fully stocked pantry of case law from his prior losses for judges to throw at him in supporting their rulings, which happened twice today
Read 5 tweets

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