Thread by @GbengaWemimo

He knew marrying her was a mistake on their honeymoon,
she suddenly went into an eerie silence when they got into the hotel room.
He was still all bubbly and happy
He didn't notice her change of mood until he finished undressing
By that time, she had taken offense that he didn't

pay attention to her change of mood which happened about an hour earlier
He asked her what was wrong with her
She flared up
"Is this how you are going to do husband? If I had died right by your side, you wouldn't have noticed for one hour and three minutes?
Is this was I settled

for?
He was taken aback
It was the last thing he expected
The surprise showed on his face
She saw it and shouted "Oh my God. You regret marrying me right? You are already weary or is that disgust i see on your face?"
He didn't even know what to say, so he sat down and kept quiet

while she ranted and cried
When she was done, he wanted to hold her and placate her
He felt the events of the day had gotten to her and she was just venting
As soon as he touched her on the shoulder, she flared up
"Dont infect me with leprosy. Just go. Get out. I don't want your

sympathy. I dont want you consoling me. Just get out.
He did
He left her in the room
He went into the restaurant of the hotel for two hours
He bought some sparkling water because he wanted their first meal as a couple to be together
By 1AM, he went back to the room and knocked on

the door
She didn't open it
He knew she heard him because she shouted "Go and sleep with your prostitutes, go back to where you were coming from"
His first instinct was to get another room and sleep there but her words stung him
He didn't want her to accuse him of any wrongdoing

so he slept by the door until the next morning
She opened the door by 6:15 AM
There was no apology
She expected him to be there
When he got into the room, they didn't speak
He got on the bed and slept
She went into the bathroom and later left for the restaurant to have breakfast

It was a crappy honeymoon
Her mood didn't get better for the whole week
The only time they had sex, she practically guilt-tripped him into sleeping with her
"I don't want us going back without you getting what you came to this hotel for. This is a sacrifice i am making for you."

He really didn't want to sleep with her that day but he had to
If he didn't things will get worse plus he really wanted to have sex on his honeymoon and the expectation was somewhere at the back of his mind seeking expression.
They had sex
She opened her legs and grunted through

it as if he was inconveniencing her
At a point he had to close his eyes and imagine he was with someone else
Someone who was happy and wanted to be with him
When he was done, she started to cry all over again
"That's all I am good for right?
A mare to mount & seek stress relief

from
So you do your thing and roll away while i deal with the consequences right?
Women are mules and men are eagles right?"
He didn't even know what to say
He found tears rolling down his eyes of their own accord
Her sadness was infectious
She had killed his enthusiasm and joy

When they got home after the honeymoon, he began to avoid her as much as possible
He felt he was the problem
He felt the more he stayed out of her space, the happier she would be
She was happy before they got married (or so he thought)
They dated for two years before he proposed

to her
He met her at the software workshop in Dubai
She was a journalist sponsored by a tech outfit to cover the event
He was one of the participants at the workshop
They were both Nigerians and that fact went a long way when she interviewed him
They later had a meal together

She told him about Dragon Mall, a mall outside the city where things were sold at a very cheap price
They went to the mall together the following day
She insisted on sharing the cab fare with him
They shopped and the experience was fun
He fell in love with her as he watcher her

ride downwards to him on the escalator
The sight of her slowly gliding down with a smile that could dull the sun was a delight to his soul
That was the moment he decided he would do everything possible to get married to her
When they returned to Nigeria from the conference, he

spent some time in Lagos so as to be close to her before returning to her base in Abuja
From that point on they were in each other's lives every day
Phone calls, video calls, emails, chats
They attend the same church
She attends physically while he attended virtually
They were

both believers
Not once did she give him any reason to think she was a sad person
Not once did she mention or show any symptom of being whatever she was doing to him
By the time the marriage was a month old, he had practically forgotten how to be happy
He found himself swimming

in the murky waters of sorrow everyday
One day, on his way back home from the office, he decided to move out
The marriage was a mistake
He had lost his joy and his peace
He doesn't also feel safe around her because of her erratic behaviour
One minute she was cheerful and happy

the next she was screaming, crying, and moody
The marriage was draining him of everything
When he got home, he found an envelope with his name boldly written on it lying on the center table
He picked it up & checked its content
She was one month pregnant
The one she guilt-tripped

him into doing on that crappy honeymoon
He didn't know what to do with the information
He knew the pregnancy had nothing to do with her sadness but he didn't want his child growing up without a father
When he got to the room he found her crying
The pregnancy made everything worse

He sat with her and tried to hold her
Her eyes were red
She sprang to her feet and began to curse him
"This was what i didn't want
This is my body and I told you that day that you were dumping your stress in me
Now i am pregnant
I don't want this
I hate you"
it made no sense to

him
He didn't say anything
he had learnt to leave her alone for about 24 hours whenever she got into the foul mood
The next morning, he dropped note on the table
"You are free to do whatever made you happy,
you can keep the baby or have an abortion
You have my support either way"

She sent him a text later in the day apologizing for her actions
She said she had seen the doctor and was told the baby was doing very well
She said the news cheered her up and she has decided to keep the baby
He felt happy with the decision
She seemed cheerful too
He took it as

a good omen
The pregnancy was indeed a blessing
Her family members came around often and so did their friends and church members
He had some respite from her foul mood
Things seemed to have returned to normal
Then she fell into labour and the curses began
She accused him of every

evil deed under the sun and pronounced all sorts of curses on him for putting her through pregnancy
She didn't let him touch her and snapped at him like a rabid dog throughout the period
Eventually, she had a baby boy
He was happy
On the day she was discharged from the hospital

Her parents came around to pick her
She said she needed to go to her parent's house so that her mother can care for the baby
He was neither informed beforehand nor carried along
He pretended he was not hurt
She went to her parent's house
The following day, she took some of the

baby's things to her parent's house
He was stopped at the gate by the security man
The security man said he had been instructed not to let him in
Wow!
He dropped the stuff and returned home
He tried calling her and sending her a message
She didn't pick
She didn't allow him play

any part in the naming of his son
It took three months of pleading and pushing before he was allowed to see his son
Her excuse was "I was too mad with you and i didn't want my parents to see me lashing out at you"
To be fair, her parents called and apologized to him several times

she pulled her stunts
She returned home when the baby was six months old
They had been married for almost two years and they had made love about six times
He felt things would get better
They didn't
She would let him have foreplay but insisted there would be no penetration yet...

He played along
She always made demands and he always met them
bought her everything she needed to make her comfortable
The marriage clocked 3
They made love only on each other's birthdays and on their wedding anniversary
He was miserable and always wondered why he got married!

Then she pulled a stunt on their son's second birthday
She told him she needed some time apart from him
She needed her space
She sent him a message via WhatsApp while he was at work
By the time he got home she was gone
She left the baby behind with the nanny
He decided enough was

enough
He rented another apartment and moved out
He got his mother to come over and help him nurse his baby
He had peace for the first time in almost four years
Sis months later she arrived with her bags, she wanted to return to the marriage
He said No
She didn't believe he could

She wasn't prepared for a NO
It caught her by surprise
It was the first time he was saying No
He deserved to have a good life
He deserved peace of mind and joy
He had tasted life without her
He wasn't going back to Egypt
She went on her knees and started begging
He still said No!

@threadreaderapp compile

The Verdict gbengawemimo.com/post/the-verdi… Companionship is not hitching a ride
It is a going together
An "I am in your corner" mindset
It is a Bonny and Clyde reality
WE against the world
But when it is the one you were
supposed to spar with that unleashes
mayhem on you