If you’ve been following my maddening monthlong quest to find a PlayStation 5 for my son, an update...
Fresh off getting smacked down by Target at 6:15 am, I diversified my tactics and redoubled my efforts.
To defeat a bot, one must think like a bot.
1/
Fresh off getting smacked down by Target at 6:15 am, I diversified my tactics and redoubled my efforts.
To defeat a bot, one must think like a bot.
1/
https://twitter.com/TheRealHoarse/status/1336697035278471169
So, I set up five web instances using three browsers across two devices.
And then I crouched like a tiger in the tall grass to watch Playstation Direct for their next release.
Crouching is bad for my knees but one must crouch before one can pounce. That’s, like, Tiger 101.
2/
And then I crouched like a tiger in the tall grass to watch Playstation Direct for their next release.
Crouching is bad for my knees but one must crouch before one can pounce. That’s, like, Tiger 101.
2/
And then it happened. Sony opened up the queue for the next wave of consoles for sales.
POUNCE, HOARSE; POUNCE!
And so I did. Hit that queue like a bongo.
In line five separate times.
3/
POUNCE, HOARSE; POUNCE!
And so I did. Hit that queue like a bongo.
In line five separate times.
3/
And then... it didn’t move.
In line one minute after it went live five times on different browsers and devices.
Over an hour wait time when it went live. Didn’t budge an inch before they sold out for the day.
4/
In line one minute after it went live five times on different browsers and devices.
Over an hour wait time when it went live. Didn’t budge an inch before they sold out for the day.
4/
Undeterred by being repeatedly deterred, I went back at it the next day.
And then Sony teased me so hard, I may or may not have briefly wept.
I had just attacked the queue like a spider monkey.
In one window, up pops this message...
IT WAS MY TURN!
5/
And then Sony teased me so hard, I may or may not have briefly wept.
I had just attacked the queue like a spider monkey.
In one window, up pops this message...
IT WAS MY TURN!
5/
But then the screen hung for a few seconds and took me to... this.
They would not be letting me in. There would be no turn.
It had been a glitch.
A part of my soul died on that screen, never again to know joy or love. Out, out, went my light.
6/
They would not be letting me in. There would be no turn.
It had been a glitch.
A part of my soul died on that screen, never again to know joy or love. Out, out, went my light.
6/
But then, a Christmas miracle happened.
A message was received and answered. An immeasurably kind offer was made and accepted. Arrangements were made.
And that’s how I found myself in a Barnes & Noble parking lot on a cold December night to receive a great kindness.
7/
A message was received and answered. An immeasurably kind offer was made and accepted. Arrangements were made.
And that’s how I found myself in a Barnes & Noble parking lot on a cold December night to receive a great kindness.
7/
And then I drove home with my white whale safely buckled into the passenger seat.
An angel got his wings that night.
Merry Christmas, Bedford Falls!
8/
An angel got his wings that night.
Merry Christmas, Bedford Falls!
8/
My son was the beneficiary of a great kindness. But more, I was.
I never feel more deeply indebted than when someone does something for my son.
There will be some paying it forward - but for now, there is just a deep thankfulness to a person who I hope is reading this.
9/
I never feel more deeply indebted than when someone does something for my son.
There will be some paying it forward - but for now, there is just a deep thankfulness to a person who I hope is reading this.
9/
It’s a quiet Saturday morning. My son is in the other room, playing online with his friends.
Next to the TV sits the one thing he asked for on his birthday in a quarantine year.
From under the door, come the sounds of happy laughter.
Life is good today. Happy son, happy dad.
Next to the TV sits the one thing he asked for on his birthday in a quarantine year.
From under the door, come the sounds of happy laughter.
Life is good today. Happy son, happy dad.
• • •
Missing some Tweet in this thread? You can try to
force a refresh
