Thread by @SimonCopland

This video is a good example of a lot of the things I find frustrating about #masculinity discourse, particularly in gay circles. 1/10

Initially it's an interesting discussion. Jacob Michael talks about the issues with masculine norms and I agree that gay men can be good at challenging these. When you break one norm (around sexuality) it can become easier to break them around gender. 2/10

But I find the way he talks about male behaviour frustrating.

He speaks as if men, in particular gay men, can only into masculine things (sports, gyms etc.) because it's the way to show their masculinity. Those things are all just about proving masculinity. 3/10

That's obviously rubbish. There are lots of reasons to be into "masculine" things. I go to the gym a lot for example. I do so because if I didn't I'd physically feel like crap and would be anxious all the time. I also have a great community at my gym. 4/10

Sport is another great example. There are so many reasons to be into sport, either through playing or watching.

Yet so often discourse, particularly in gay male spaces, assumes gay men can only ever be into sport because they want to prove how masculine they are. 5/10

This is a problem I find with a lot of masculinity discourse. It assumes men only see things through the lens of gender performance. People, our decisions and actions are a lot more complex than that. Masculinity is some of it, but not all of it. 6/10

My second problem with the video is that Jacob Michael presents really odd solutions. He is right to point out that masculine norms can hold men back emotionally, and that this can cause serious problems, particularly for mental health. No doubt. 7/10

His solution therefore is that men should get in touch with their feminine side.

But what does he mean by that? That they should go to drag shows, or paint their nails.

What? 8/10

That might be a fun thing for some men to do, but it's not going to do much. In fact many "feminine" gay men are also emotionally closed off. Many of us are pretty bad at it. Being campy or feminine doesn't mean you're suddenly emotionally intelligent. 9/10

What would be better would be to work with men (and many women as well) to find ways for their to be more emotionally intelligent/open whether they are masculine or feminine presenting. And it's about challenging those norms. But that ain't gonna happen through some make-up.10/10