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Raffi Melkonian Profile picture
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14 Dec, 4 tweets, 2 min read
I'm a lawyer that reads nearly every Supreme Court opinion, and yet I would have told you "River Master" was made up before I listened to this case. docs.google.com/viewer?url=htt…
Disappointingly, the River Master does not appear to have the power to make horses appear in the river's froth and wash away Nazgul.
Not the River Master
Is the River Master

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More from @RMFifthCircuit

Raffi Melkonian Profile picture
15 Dec
Really interesting oral argument in the Second Circuit yesterday about whether baseball's alleged tolerance of electronic sign stealing creates a claim for fantasy baseball players. The appellate panel is ... skeptical.

And yes 1/

ca2.uscourts.gov/decisions/isys…
the Yankees' team President, who is a lawyer, argued personally that the district judge erred in deciding to make a letter about the Yankees public (this was a side issue). He was... too casual, but ok. His position is going to lose however.
One interesting #AppellateTwitter part:

Lawyer: "I think you're looking at this from the wrong perspective Judge"

Judge: "I'm sure I am, but you had better tell me how."
Read 4 tweets
Raffi Melkonian Profile picture
15 Dec
Well this football game is ending with some *drama*. Lamar coming out of the locker room for a final effort.
Of course he immediately throws a touchdown.
Sort of seems relevant to note that the Ravens have the best kicker in football.

Also, that Kareem Hunt td just knocked me out of my fantasy league. Blub.
Read 5 tweets
Raffi Melkonian Profile picture
8 Dec
Here's the deal. There are in fact cases - cases where the Supreme Court law is against you - where your only job is to lose in the lower courts as fast as possible. That's because you can only win on the facts if you get *new law* made. And only SCOTUS can reverse itself. But!
Powell's various cases and Trump's cases are not like that. Their problem is not really some SCOTUS law they're trying to change. Their problem is that their claims fail in every way: the facts are made up, the law is against them on every ground, they're litigated badly /2
There's no "circuit split" in these cases, for example - that is, Trump isn't challenging some law where the lower courts have disagreed, or where people have been agitating to reverse SCOTUS precedent for years. There's literally not a single indicator of a SCOTUS case. /3
Read 9 tweets
Raffi Melkonian Profile picture
7 Dec
I logged onto the district court hearing in the Georgia "kraken" case (it's here)

It's truly hard to describe how stupid what Powell is saying is - I now upgrade this to banoffee pie bananas.

I'm going back to @SEHarringtonDC's SCOTUS argument.
Oh wait, the Court grants the motions to dismiss on the record. This case is dead too.
The Judge had clearly already written his remarks before this argument and was just letting Powell talk.

What a stupid and shameful litigation this is.
Read 9 tweets
Raffi Melkonian Profile picture
4 Dec
Brizzy sued Vizzy, and the judge said no preliminizzy injunction.

Oh no. Terrible. I'll show myself out. 1/
Oh heaven help me these marketers need to stop.
Law, the discipline where you have to write a paragraph to explain why the nonsense word Brizzy does not tell you anything about the product.
Read 7 tweets
Raffi Melkonian Profile picture
2 Dec
Early in my career I billed a lot. A lot, a lot. I don’t even want to put the number here. A lot.

I couldn’t do it. It made me sick. If billing like that makes *you* sick, stop doing it. It doesn’t make you a lesser lawyer, or weak, or show you’ve failed.
I know, this is my long running hobby horse. But it’s true. If your body and brain tell you to stop, you gotta stop. Just right away. Don’t let your ego make you continue.

I know of what I speak. I’m talking to you, striver person. You!
It took a lot for me to get over the fact that Dude/ette X, who I thought I was as good as, loved the grind and enjoyed it, and I didn't. But just get over it. You'll be way happier.
Read 4 tweets

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