Thread by @DellAnnaLuca

NEVER CONFUSE THE NECESSARY FOR THE SUFFICIENT
(thread)

1/ A common situation:

– We have a goal

– We do something necessary to achieve it

– We believe it is sufficient

– We fail

– Because we believed what we did was sufficient, we are frustrated

– We learn the wrong lesson

2/ For example:

– We want to date an attractive girl

– We invite her to dinner

– We fail to communicate the right vibes

– We are frustrated when she doesn't reciprocate

– We learn the wrong lesson, such as "we can't be attractive" or "she's pretentious"

3/ As another example:

– We want a promotion

– We work long & hard

– We fail to show initiative

– We are frustrated when we don't get promoted

– We learn the wrong lesson, such as "my boss is an idiot" or "hard work doesn't pay" (instead of "hard work *alone* doesn't pay")

3/ A great skill to learn, and to teach, is to distinguish between the necessary and the sufficient.

And in particular, that doing something necessary is not enough to achieve a goal; one must do *everything* that is necessary.

4/ If you do something that is necessary but not sufficient, and expect a success that doesn't come, you'll get frustrated.

Instead, if you acknowledge that something else was necessary, you'll still have your goal in reach and you won't lose much motivation.

5/ Moreover, if you do something necessary but not sufficient and fail, you might learn the wrong lesson that what you did was wrong.

Whereas it might have been right and you just didn't do something else that was equally necessary.

6/ Hence, when you fail at an objective, always ask yourself: was what I did both necessary AND SUFFICIENT?

If you don't ask yourself this question, you might find yourself frustrated and lacking know-how.