Thread by @muddymuddymum

Some light hearted humour for you, feel free to add in:

Rules on the farm:

1. Sod's law states you will always need to pee after; putting on numerous layers; whilst wearing bib and brace; when your trousers are wet and stuck to your butt; when your hands are mucky.

2. Always make sure you have more than you need. Exact dosing quantities for the animals you have usually see you run out on the very last animal.

Let's pretend that didn't happen...

😂😂

3. Don't take the swear words to heart. Working with animals/your other half/family can make us all sound like drunken sailor and our best loved pets can often be referred to with the unkindest of names. It's all normal.

And swear words DO help you to cope with the situation.

I have to add to that tweet, because it's very very important:

The use of swear words do drive home the point you're making, even if it's just driving it home to you and not your other half/the animal in question.

😁😂

4. You love animals? Your love will be tested when it involves outdoor work, winter, mud and rain soaked giant cotton wool balls who have decided that you're fair game to maim.

But they mean it in a nice way and you can't help but love them... right?

5. You could end up being Mystic Meg in the future with the strengthening of your clarvoyancy and mind reading skills. You'll soon learn what's coming and the consequences of if you don't

Or you can be a school teacher saying "use your words!" Regularly.

Lots of career choices

6. Language skills should be put high on your CV. Not only are you translating what each grunt means from the human team, you'll also be able to tell what different Baas, Moos, quacks and woofs mean.

Biggest clue though; it usually always means they want something.

7. If you have farm kids be wary where you take them (this will end up a long tweet)

You may have trained them that the great outdoors is an emergency toilet. This doesn't bode well for village fetes.

😳

Yours may not be like mine, but often my kids get a bit too excited when we go places off farm, when they see other kids and have a tendency to turn into feral children of the corn.

You may have to step in when the human sacrifices start, as other people can get a bit tetchy.

Medical appointments can be interesting. Before they're even asked, your kids may well have stripped off and started showing their butt to the professionals.

Language problems? You can guarantee they wont mispronounce those swear words. They will be crystal clear. 😬🙄

Mud will be the basis of your life. Don't do cream or white. Not on floors, not on walls and not on them.

And if it isn't mud, it will be something else that challenges all stain removers and make you wonder if cleaning manufacturers actually design something that works.

@threadreaderapp unroll please 😊