Thread by @QuinnyPig

I've decided I'm going to start selling software as if I were the Cyberpunk 2077 developers.

Please start by using my Stripe webcart to send me $70.

Okay, so the software I sold you *claimed* to help fix your @awscloud bill, but it crashes unless you run the script on FreeBSD.

I am very sorry for the inconvenience. Please stand by while I work on a patch.

After a lot of tweaking, this bash script now works on Ubuntu 14.04.

The patch itself is 22GB because I don't know what git-rebase does and I got sloppy with my git-adds somehow. Thank you for your business, please continue to be patient.

After several attempts it makes everything somehow worse. @awscloud is now delisting it from the Marketplace until these bugs are resoled.

I appreciate my partnership with AWS and will say nothing untoward about them in public.

Yes, I *told* you that you could run this on your laptop before I sold it to you. I will now unleash an army of shitgibbons on the internet who will make fun of you unless your laptop somehow has 512GB of RAM.

I apologize that your profile photo is somehow set to compromising pictures of you fished from your camera's photo album.

Refunds are now available directly from AWS should you require one. Your patience continues to be appreciated.

Apple Silicon Macs have been available for all of 20 minutes but you're a complete idiot if you don't have one of them to run this script. True, I told you it would work on x86 machines, but let's get serious, who's still running one of those?

I have released another patch (40GB this time) that fixes the previous regression that started mining bitcoin in your AWS account. I apologize for the error and will strive to be more diligent in the future.

It turns out that "developer" and "publisher" mean different things.

This is all attributed to the same root cause as these tooling errors of "me not knowing what words mean." I am under a lot of investor pressure, you see.

https://twitter.com/iancoldwater/status/1341237606554603520

It now appears that if your CURs become too large this script will irrevocably destroy them and you'll have to start over.

You are advised to use fewer resources in your AWS account.

GitHub has now made my repository private for some reason. I appreciate your patience while I work through these communication issues / reassure them that this isn't *technically* malware.

I wish to apologize for the reinforcement of deeply problematic views contained within this tool. How this even happened in the context of an AWS billing script will be addressed in the undetermined future.

The latest patch also removes the portion of the script that makes the loading dialog on the CLI trigger epileptic seizures--sorry, hold the phone on this entire thread.

They fucking *WHAT* in this shitpile game?! Are you serious?! Who the hell signed off on that?!

I think video games are a creative medium. I think they unlock a narrative viewpoint that's unlike any other, and should be celebrated.

I also believe they should not actively harm their players.