Ottoman Chess.
Like normal chess but the Sultan (King) can occasionally strangle his own pieces.
Like normal chess but the Sultan (King) can occasionally strangle his own pieces.
Also, if you play for long enough, the game collapses, there’s a Republican interlude and then the Imams (bishops) are allowed to do whatever they like.
It’s a confusing game but it ends with your side owing the other side more money than reasonably exists
It’s a confusing game but it ends with your side owing the other side more money than reasonably exists
“Why did you lose your last game of Ottoman Chess?”
“The Germans lost and for some reason that meant I lost too.”
“The Germans lost and for some reason that meant I lost too.”
“What’s this piece?”
“It’s a Damat.”
“So what does it do?”
“Basically useless. At the start of the game, it can do anything but on each turn, its power decreases until it randomly disappears and no-one mentions its existence ever again.”
“It’s a Damat.”
“So what does it do?”
“Basically useless. At the start of the game, it can do anything but on each turn, its power decreases until it randomly disappears and no-one mentions its existence ever again.”
“And this piece?”
“It’s a Vizier.”
“Sounds important.”
“If it ever steps out of line, it gets strangled hard.”
“Are there any pieces that don’t eventually get strangled?”
“The pawns.”
“What happens to them?”
“They all get massacred at the start.”
“It’s a Vizier.”
“Sounds important.”
“If it ever steps out of line, it gets strangled hard.”
“Are there any pieces that don’t eventually get strangled?”
“The pawns.”
“What happens to them?”
“They all get massacred at the start.”
“But it’s still basically chess? I loved Queen’s Gambit so it seems like a great Christmas present.”
“Now it’s the Vizier’s Gambit, women can’t play and we don’t do Christmas.”
“Hmmm OK, what the Vizier’s Gambit?”
“The Vizier turns on the Sultan but gets strangled first.”
“Now it’s the Vizier’s Gambit, women can’t play and we don’t do Christmas.”
“Hmmm OK, what the Vizier’s Gambit?”
“The Vizier turns on the Sultan but gets strangled first.”
OK, fine, no more strangulation jokes. Sorry.
Merry Christmas to one and all!!!
Merry Christmas to one and all!!!
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