to everyone who hates me for this tweet it was that or ‘wow scamdalorian’ I’m not working with good material here
I actually think more franchises should hastily kill off major characters just to make the writers panic and have to find absurd ways to bring them back in the sequel it’s really funny
I’m an hour into this thing and I’m crying laughing I think this movie is an ingenious elaborate joke “oh no we have to stream it because ummmmm COVID yeah that’s it covid” and total idiots like me clicked it
I’m imagining the writers sitting around saying hey fellas what if we tried to make everyone who went through puberty on cindy crawford aerobics tapes confused and horny for kristen wiig
ESCALATORS
wonder woman has been bummed out about her boyfriend for 65 years but now thanks to magic rock he’s back in a stranger’s body and only she can see him and instead of fucking she takes him to the air space museum
this is brilliant. I don’t know how they got hundreds of millions of dollars for this concept and then to top it off wrecked the entire movie distribution model for the whole industry but goddammit they pulled it off
steve in some stranger’s body do you want to fuck the hottest woman alive yet
no I want to fly plane
steve it has been 65 years since you fly plane do you want to read the manual
no
steve I know how to fly plane maybe I should fly plane to someplace safe and teach you
no I fly plane and you make plane invisible?
ok
look I know they spent an assload to make this thing but think of them selling the studio on all the CGI money they were saving on writing in the invisible plane. YOU JUST IMAGINE ITS ON SCREEN CAN YOU SEE IT IN YOUR MIND? SO BEAUTIFUL. CUTTING EDGE.
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posting reality warp art with a creepy hyper-masculine trump is just a group self-affirmation for the deeply insecure societal losers with some kind of gender role hang up
it’s always a little funny that the nazi ubermensch ended up parading around doing coordinated high kick routines to wagner all gussied up in professional-kink s&m garb
folks are you focused strongly on the things I said
oh yes sir absolutely it is the strongest focus people are saying they have never seen such strongly focused focus on the things
my redlines, how are my redlines coming
oh sir we are focused so strongly on your redlines, you will not believe the things we are finding in the redlines, we are turning those redlines to green lines sir, tremendous strength in the redline focusing sir
I think this is the wrong interpretation. they’re threatened by the loss of influence to the sid circus & playing shiny-object-run-out-the-clock with trump to maintain influence with him
the game is now “whoever promises trump the best miracle cure wins his friendship in 2021”, and these are all the closing plays
trump thinks rudy & jenna are low energy losers now (I mean, he’s not wrong) and he’s tuned them out, opening the door up to the next tier of batshit insane ideas. mark meadows & the MAGA dorks in congress are suddenly aware they’re in danger of losing their meal ticket
probably 999 out of every thousand threatened defamation suits is some combination of performative bluster, bad intent to 1A, or total legal buffoonery. this is that one outlier that isn’t.
oh and the fun part is dominion hasn’t even entered the game yet, so the second shoe to drop here will be an abrams tank lowering the turret on them
lin wood could manage to lose a nonsensical defamation lawsuit, and this is a *very legitimate* one. I hope they turn them upside down and shake them until shit stops falling out of their pockets, then shake them some more just to be sure they got it all
no elections board in their right mind is going to come within a thousand miles of buying a dominion or smartmatic machine again. they’re done. the brand is radioactive. and it’s entirely based on knowingly nonsensical malicious smears. the people who did this are gonna get rekt
how did it take nearly 40 years for the owners of the star wars IP to figure out the core formula is move the plot along without a bunch of nonsensical bullshit
suffer through six crimes-against-storytelling multi-billion dollar installments literally everyone hates just to realize you can just produce great content by going back to 1920’s serials format and giving a damn about actually giving the thing plot momentum
here’s a character with rational motivations and here’s some obstacles, let’s see what happens! you don’t care about academic dissertations on the rules of the universe the characters exist in so we won’t even bore you with it. what a concept