People seem to think that the matters of proposal and all the hurts, pains, betrayal and separation that sometimes happens in it, will not be judged on the day of resurrection. For real? People misbehave with the feelings of others and
move on with life as if it's nothing. Don't employ the nollywood style or the soap opera style of calling off engagements with people.
Some brothers would propose to two or three sisters at a time, focus on one of them, while toying with the feelings of the rest, eventually
he marries one and abandons the rest in tears. Yet, tomorrow he will be wondering why his marriage is filled with problems, perhaps one of the sisters you betrayed and abandoned might have reported you to Allah and supplicated against you before the Lord of the worlds.
You may never be free from that burden until you go back to beg her.
Some sisters would 'accept' several proposals at a time, each suitor would think he is the only man, each of them would spend on her and make efforts to marry her,
whereas she is not even interested in marrying any of them. One day, she breaks-up with all of them with an SMS of just #4 naira. She would move on thinking she fooled them, some of them may ignore, some of them may yell at you, but some of them may quietly complain about
you to their Creator at night, while you are sleeping and snoring on your own bed.
If you eventually end up with a husband who beats you, denies you your rights or cheats on you, it might be as a result of a supplication that was made against you by one of your past suitors.
If you keep suffering an unexplainable series of divorce from one marriage to another, look back and check your past, it might be due to a person you oppressed many years ago. If you have been trying to marry for several years and it proves abortive, check your past, you might
Fear the supplications of the oppressed, for verily, there is no barrier between it and Allah. (Saheeh Bukhari).
If you have to break up, make sure it's on a good note, and the other person mutually sees reasons with it, you are dealing with a human being and not a bag of rice,
everything will be questioned, including the matters of the heart.
May Allah distance us from oppression. Ameen.
Reference:
Article written by Abul Banaat.
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1. Make friends with successful people and occasionally buy them gifts and surprise them with lunch because successful people always give and hardly get, so when you give them, they value the gift a lot.
2. Get a mentor and follow his instructions
and respect the relationship. Never beg your mentor for money or disrespect his or her privacy.
3. Make new positive friends as often as possible and ensure you keep the communication line open. Create a network of friends and not just connections.
5. Show kindness to everyone. Some small boys today will be big boys tomorrow. The biggest dog in the neighbourhood was once a puppy. Keep the information/secret to yourself.
6. Always plan ahead and be proactive. He that plans the future works less in the future.
At the time of Khalifa Umar bin Khattab, three people came to him dragging a young man with them and said to him:
Oh leader of the believers, this man has murdered our father.
Umar: Why did you kill their father?
Young man: I'm a guardian.
My camel ate from his farm, and their Father threw a stone at the Camel and the Camel died. I also took the stone and threw it at their Father and he also died.
Umar: Because of this, I will pass judgment (charge you with murder).
Young man: I ask for 3 days before you pass the judgment. My late father left me some wealth and I have a sister to take care of. If you kill me now, the wealth and my sister will have no guardian.
DON'T GET IT TWISTED, LOVE IS A BEAUTIFUL THING...
My wife and I decided to play hide and seek yesterday. It was quite a fun game to play. But this time, we set a price. If I find her, she gets to cook me what ever food I desire. And if I don't find her, I get to cook for her
and my visiting parents, for two whole days, while she takes a break.
My parents were upstairs sleeping by then. Ever since they arrived from the village three days ago, they have been sleeping and resting.
According to mama, she said she had come for a vacation in her son home
We rang the bell to signify the start of the game. And if eventually I do not find her, I will ring the bell to signify that I have given up.
My wife ran to hide, while I shut my eyes tight. When it was time, I opened my eyes and began searching for her.
Last week, I was requested to intervene in a marital brouhaha gone awry. The couple are relatively young and their marriage is still very fresh - just about three months old. I met the couple separately, and also talked to some of their closest associates
who are well acquainted with the issue. The outcome of my investigation is that their case is as simple as it is complicated. Unfortunately, not only were the couple too naive in the way that they handled their differences, their case, in fact,
is a classical example of the proverbial “too many cooks spoil the broth.”
Some of the issues revolve around personal hygiene, lack of discipline and home training, lack of culinary skills, stinginess, wickedness, bad communication strategy, sexual exploitation, et cetera.
"EVERYONE AROUND ME IS GETTING MARRIED. WHEN IS MY TURN?"
Dear sisters who didn't get married yet and afraid of what people may say about her.
Don't worry. Marriage is Rizq from Allah and He will surely grant it to when He wills it and not when you want it.
Don’t care of what people may say about you, remember that Maryam 'alaiha as-salam not got married and she is the only woman who has a whole Surah with her name.
So if not having a husband is a defect, she wouldn't have been mentioned in Qur’an.
Not getting married is not a flaw or a defect but not maintaining chastity is.
The real defect is that a woman doesn't preserve her purity and chastity.
Be patient and be sure that Allah will reward you greatly for your patience at the end this Dunya is not about men or