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Alex Deane

7 Jan, 9 tweets, 2 min read

Let us strike a bargain, you possess a gift
But I can speak the jargon
That can give your gift the needed lift.
You possess the know-how
And I command the show-how
Oh, how successful you could be ... with me!
Eglantine, Eglantine!
Oh, how you'll shine!

1/8

Your lot and my lot have got to combine.
Eglantine, Eglantine!
Hark to the stars
Destiny calls us
The future is ours!
As the shine sells the boot,
And the blossoms the fruit
All you need to succeed in your plan
Is the proper ally upon whom to rely
And I'm your man.

2/8

For I have an acumen that's nigh superhuman.
I sell things that nobody can!
So I humbly suggest
You accept to my behest
I'm your man!
Eglantine, Eglantine
Oh, how you'll shine
Your lot and my lot have got to combine
Eglantine, Eglantine
Hark to the stars
Destiny calls us ...

3/8

the future is ours!
With my expert pantomiming
The proper taste and timing
I'll introduce you in the manner grand
I'll wet their appetite for you
I'll set the scene so right for you
We'll have the beggars eating out of your hand.
As the words sell the tune

4/8

And the moonbeams the moon, all you need to succeed in your plan
Is a champion rare, with a flourish ... and a flair
And I'm your man!
I have always had a bit of a knack for witchcraft
Common spells and simple charms came naturally
So when the war began, I conjured up a plan

5/8

To do my bit in the national emergency.
I enrolled in your Correspondence College of Witchcraft
And I slaved at every lesson as it came.
But the spell I counted on,
Is the lesson that is gone.
It's disappeared, and you're the one to blame!

6/8

our suggestions are rash and your manner is brash
And I've no time to waste, Mister Brown.
If I am to proceed, it's that book that I need.
Don't let me down!
But if you'll see me through
I'll discuss it with you
Though I've no taste for playing the clown

7/8

If I meet with success, then I might acquiesce-
I won't let you down!
Eglantine, Eglantine!
Oh, how you'll shine!
Your lot and my lot have got to combine
Eglantine, Eglantine!
Hark to the stars
Destiny calls us, the future is ours

8/8

And that, as nobody asked, is my favourite Disney.

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More from @ajcdeane

Alex Deane

@ajcdeane

9 Jan

As it seems that everyone right of centre will be purged from this platform in due course, whilst acknowledging that my lowly position means it’ll be a while before they get around to me I thought I’d go for broke whilst I’m still here.

Here goes.

Parody accounts aren’t funny.

Men & women are different.

Tax cuts are good. They stimulate economic growth & let people spend more of their own money.

Alcohol is enjoyable. So is sugar.

Judge people on merit, not gender or ethnicity.

There is such a thing as the canon in the arts. Good, better, best.

I don’t care what box sets you’ve watched.

Cycling enthusiasts are weirdly culty and self-righteous. Which is unfair on a perfectly good form of transport.

America is a force for good in the world.

Capitalism has lifted billions out of poverty.

Read 9 tweets

Alex Deane

@ajcdeane

7 Jan

Much hypocrisy seen in attitudes about political violence. But don't avoid the obvious point- what happened in DC was appalling.

Worse, Schumer is right: the President “egged on” the mob- that “this president bears a great deal of the blame.”

A terrible end to the Presidency.

Why do I say this- a Brit, not an American- do I think my view makes a difference? Of course not. But
- this is a site for opinions;
- we all care about what happens in the USA;
- sometimes I've been as close to a Trump supporter / apologist as UK / intl media allows on air.

So I look aghast at the attitude on show in the twilight of the Presidency. It destroys so much of any legacy, and affirms some of the worst criticisms against which some have defended the President over years.

Read 6 tweets

Alex Deane

@ajcdeane

18 Oct 20

https://twitter.com/CrimeLdn/status/1317842564515549186

Think of another religion being the target.

Then imagine the media response.

As compared to this being the first time you’ve seen or heard of it.

https://twitter.com/CrimeLdn/status/1317842564515549186

That isn’t to say that people in positions of influence in the media or the justice system or politics actually approve of this. They absolutely don’t, of course. They just care less.

I’ve been asked why I said this. Let me give some examples, lest it seems an unwarranted statement.

If it were another faith, it would be breaking news everywhere. As it’s a church, it won’t be.

Read 8 tweets

Alex Deane

@ajcdeane

10 Jun 20

The talibanesque destruction of all which is not “appropriate” will not stop. Don’t care about statues? Old films? Don’t feel left out. They’ll keep going until it’s something you do care about. You can warm yourself by the bonfire of the vanities in the meantime.

In the meantime, if your parents enjoyed Gone with the Wind, turn yourself in for a re-education top-up. Can’t be too careful.

Several responding defend specific examples, as is their right.

Even if correct... why think that what starts with statues will end with statues?

Read 4 tweets

Alex Deane

@ajcdeane

27 May 20

I make no friends saying this (such a change) & no doubt harm my own paddling-in-media prospects as a commentator saying it, but the sight of many journalists seemingly untroubled by any examination of the issues expressing “solidarity” with Emily Maitlis here is troubling.

1/5

In truth, it’s merely the latest example of a growing, and peculiar, clubbish, circle the wagons, we are special mindset - one that presently seems even worse than it usually is, given recent events so thoroughly & insistently examined by the media itself.

2/5

Because the media’s near-manic desire to focus ad nauseam on the questions raised in a story & demand grovelling public apologies is bulletproof - until applied to one of their own, when it vanishes.

3/5

Read 6 tweets

Alex Deane

@ajcdeane

23 May 20

@JuliaHB1

I was booked to discuss the current #DominicCummings issue with @JuliaHB1 this afternoon but schedules have changed. As I won’t be on air any longer, I thought I’d share what I intended to say.

1/7

I like Julia. I respect the fact that she’s sincere and understand that she’s angry. I just think that she’s wrong on this. BTW I haven’t seen my parents since January either. My father is in his 80s and unwell. But none of that’s the point.

2/7

It seems to me that it comes down to whether Cummings broke the guidelines; on this they were vague at the time - they certainly made provision for transport for children who were categorised as vulnerable people.

3/7

Read 13 tweets

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