1/ My husband has been feeling poorly for a few days and decided to go in to be tested for COVID-19.

Instead, we just found out that he has AML: acute myeloid leukemia.

Or I should say, *he* found out. Alone.

They won't let me visit him.

Because of COVID-19.
2/ You probably don't know my husband and for that, I am truly sorry that you haven't met the best man I've ever known. This is a guy who opted to work with COVID-19 patients in the ICU instead of tele-health because he couldn't just sit by and watch.

3/3 I could go on and on about how amazing he is, but I'm completely broken. Please spare a thought for my hubs tonight. He went from thinking he might have COVID to getting a bone marrow biopsy, chemotherapy, and a minimum 4-6 week hospital stay within the course of a few hours.
You guys, thank you.

Now if someone could just confiscate my google machine so I stop doom-scrolling through WebMD. 😂

We'll have more info about his prognosis soon.

In the meantime, we have hope and love and that's enough.❤️

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More from @AynRandPaulRyan

12 Jan
What is this lady screaming about?
Fucking Qarens, man.
Live shot of that Qaren accosting Chuck Schumer on TV right now.
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8 Jan
I've read, but cannot confirm, that said Trump supporter was attempting to steal a painting of Tip O'Neill, tased his nuts, and died from a heart attack.

Trying really, really hard not to make any testicle puns.
You guys, he accidentally tasered himself in the balls to death.

While he was stealing a painting of...wait for it...

Tip O'Neill.


I'm sorry. I'm going to hell.

But come on.

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"Nah, bro, just the Tip."

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"I didn't wear a mask.

I should've.

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I believed it was just the flu.

That it was all going to to go away.

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You don't want to end up like me.

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I will get intubated if I get any worse.

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If it affects you the way it affects me, you don't want it.

If wearing a mask can reduce your chance of getting this even by 5%, wear a mask.

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Do it for yourself."

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2 Jan
Thought about posting a thread of Rudy Giuliani making an ass out of himself but I think Twitter has a limit on how many tweets you can put into a thread.

But I'm going to give it a shot. 1/
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(No, she's not my sister, but yes! She looks super young and gorgeous.) Image
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19 Dec 20
It's time for GUESS THAT RECIPE!

What am I making with these ingredients?

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As soon as someone guesses correctly, I will post photos and recipe!

Wow, lots of folks guess macarons and marzipan, two things I've never made before. It's not either of those things, but now I want to try them...
Read 7 tweets
3 Dec 20
Something is beeping in my house and it's driving me nuts.

I've ruled out the usual suspects. No electronics or appliances.

Called my son downstairs to make sure it's not in my head.

He hears it, too, but we can't find the source.

Clearly, I need to burn my house down now.
It's not the smoke alarm.

Trust me, when that piece of shit gets low on batteries, it is very distinctive.

Nope, but that was a good guess. I'm literally walking around my house checking everything that's plugged in or has batteries, starting with major appliances.
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