7 resilience factors:

1. Strong community
2. Ask for help when you need it
3. Rest when you're tired
4. Get going—mood follows action—when you're stuck
5. Patience—can't force turn-arounds
6. Self-compassion (hard to be human)
7. Tragic optimism (this sucks, but here's hope too)
1. Strong Community

The people around you shape you. We are all mirrors reflecting onto each other. Quality over quantity—think about having a few people who you really trust and know that can keep you grounded when you soar and provide a cushion when you fall.
2. Ask For Help When You Need It

There is this misnomer that resilient people are super strong on their own. But in reality, they are super strong because they understand when they need help and they are not hesitant to ask for it.
3. Rest When You Are Tired

People are not machines. You can't just plug into an outlet and go forever. The ability to bounce back when you are knocked down requires a lot of energy, both physical and psychological. You gain this strength and energy from resting when you need it.
4. Get Going—Mood Follows Action—When You're Stuck

There is a difference between being tired and stuck. For the latter, best strategy is usually to nudge yourself into action. We think we must feel motivated to get going but it's the other way around. Get going, gain motivation.
5. Patience—You Can't Force Turn-Arounds

A big trap is trying to climb out of a hole too quickly, only to end up back where you started. Resilience is a process, a nine-inning game. You may want to be in bottom of the eighth when you're actually in top of third. Stay patient.
6. Self-Compassion (Hard to be Human)

Research: When knocked down the LESS harshly we judge ourselves and the MORE kind we are to ourselves the faster we bounce back.

Negative self-talk is a waste of time and energy.

"This is what is happening right now, I'm doing best I can."
7. Tragic optimism (This Sucks, But Here's Hope Too)

In between burying your head in the sand and being a pollyanna on the one hand and being totally despairing on the other there is a middle way. It accepts reality of a hard situation AND moves forward with hope nonetheless.

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More from @BStulberg

30 Nov 20
Sustainable peak performance rests on a foundation of pretty basic principles. Once those are nailed—simple, not easy—there is lots of luck, uncertainty, and changing tides. Most of a coach's job becomes walking the path with the person.

(Short thread on coaching.)
First and foremost, you want to help the person develop both knowing and, more important, CONSISTENT DOING of key skills and principles. The knowing part is easy, the consistent doing part is hard. Coaching is about teaching and then providing gentle nudges to keep executing.
A good coach also helps the person see what they don't otherwise see. Lots of highly driven people are so focused on what is ahead that they can miss important things on the side of the road. A coach points out those things, and then discusses which of them should be addressed.
Read 8 tweets
11 Oct 20
If you benefit from the information and practices I offer please retweet, share, and follow along for more.

I'm doing my best to be a signal amidst the noise.

The secret is there is no secret.
Stress + rest = growth.
Presence.
Patience.
Consistency.
Inside-out.

(Short thread.)
Secret is there is no secret:

Move your body.
Eat whole foods.
Build community.
Care deeply.
Hold pain tenderly.
Give help.
Get help.
Stay on path.
Fall off path.
Get back on path.
Be patient.
Accept what is—and keep going anyways.
Sleep when tired.

thegrowtheq.com/13-rules-for-l…
Stress + rest = growth.

- Too much of former not enough of latter you get illness, injury, burnout.
- Too much of latter not enough of former you get complacency, boredom, stagnation.

Pursue just-manageable challenges. Make sure there is some space in between. Adjust as you go.
Read 7 tweets
30 Sep 20
Secret is there is no secret. 13 rules. Modern science and ancient wisdom.

Move.
Eat whole foods.
Build community.
Care deeply.
Hold pain tenderly.
Give help.
Get help.
Stay on path.
Fall off path.
Get back on path.
Be patient.
Accept what is—keep going anyway.
Sleep when tired.
1) Move your body

Aim for at least 30 minutes every day. More is better. Walk. Run. Lift weights. Dance. Garden. If possible, do some of this outdoors. Whatever you do, don’t try to be a hero. Start small. Consistent effort compounds over time. Inertia works in both directions.
2) Eat whole foods

Do what you can to avoid stuff wrapped in plastic. Don’t let perfect be the enemy of good. Pick one to three habitual eating patterns that aren’t great and upgrade them. Unless you find one that works for you AND fits the lifestyle you want, ignore diets.
Read 9 tweets
23 Sep 20
8 Principles to Navigate Periods of Disorder.

1. Stop Resisting What's Happening.
2. Focus On What You Can Control
3. Nail Daily Habits
4. Use Routines
5. Stay Connected
6. Think Adaptation
7. Respond Not React
8. Show Up, Get Through, And Make Meaning On Other Side

(Thread.)
1. Stop Resisting What Is Happening

Resisting change and disorder may feel good in the short-term, but invariably leads to distress in the long-term. You’ve got to engage with what is in front of you, and wisely—which is what the following principles emphasize.
2. Focus On What You Can Control, Do Not Worry About What You Cannot

There is a difference between worrying about a situation one the one hand and taking productive action on the other. Whenever you catch yourself doing the former, use it as a cue to do the latter.
Read 9 tweets
8 Aug 20
Intermittent fasting (IF) is the latest nutrition, health, and, in some circles, performance—both physical and mental—trend out there.

Here are some thoughts, based on evidence and theory.

(Short thread.)
For most people, intermittent fasting reduces calories. If you don't have the option to eat all day you'll end up eating less calories. Eating less calories is associated with weight loss. Being at a healthy body weight is associated with less disease and enhanced longevity.
Other claims about IF tend focus on health and especially longevity benefits *beyond* the practice's potential positive affect on weight control.

Research has shown IF activates certain pathways in the body, but no study (yet) has gotten to real-world outcomes we care about.
Read 13 tweets
30 Jul 20
Everyone wants to be SUCCESSFUL. But few people take the time and energy to define the success they want. As a result, they spend most, if not all, of their lives chasing what society superimposes on them as success. This makes them unhappy. There's a better way.

(A thread.)
Common examples of socially imposed success include a bigger house; a faster car; a more prestigious position; greater relevance on the internet.

Yet, even if someone finally attains these so-called successes, they are often left wanting. No fun. No lasting fulfillment.
In ancient eastern psychology there is a concept known as the "hungry ghost." The hungry ghost has an endless stomach. He keeps on eating, stuffing himself sick, but he never feels full. It’s a severe disorder.

Lots of people are hungry ghosts. I know I can be one at times.
Read 11 tweets

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