Thread by @Linkara19

Alrighty, finally going to start watching Discovery season 3!

NO SPOILERS, NO "OH, YOU'LL SEE" OR ANYTHING LIKE THAT. LET ME MAKE MY OWN OPINIONS ABOUT IT FOR MYSELF AND THEN AGREE OR DISAGREE BASED ON WHERE I'M AT.

And let's start things off on a few bits of aesthetic issues that keep nagging at me whenever I watch this show:

God, either CGI artists or directors or SOMEBODY is obsessed with CGI sand sculptures. Don't know what I mean? I mean they like thousands of tiny grains of CGI...

...sand forming into objects - like 3-D printing stuff with nanotechnology or whatever. You see it in big CGI battles where we need THOUSANDS of tiny things flying around or in the opening scene where stuff just gets formed out of nothing and it stopped being impressive years...

...ago but THEY JUST GOTTA KEEP ON DOING IT BECAUSE WE'VE GOT A BUDGET AND CAN AFFORD ALL THIS POINTLESS FLUFF THAT'S SUPPOSED TO BE COOL BUT ISN'T BECAUSE WE'VE SEEN IT SO MANY TIMES NOW.

That's one of Discovery (and a lot of modern sci-fi)'s problem nowadays - they care...

...way, WAY too much about looking cool rather than just being functional. "It's a bed and a desk? NO! It needs to be made of CGI sand or no one will think it's the future/impressive/cool!"

And then there's a smaller thing but it's been an issue since Star Trek 2009 - the sound design SUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCKS.

I know we all joke about sci-fi lasers being "PEW PEW PEW!" and all, but they apparently decided to take that to heart - phasers and torpedoes and disruptors and everyone's weapons used to have distinct, unique, cool sounds to the point where when they deviated from what we...

...normally heard it was really unique and interesting, but here everyone has pulse weapons and they ALL sound like "PEW PEW PEW!" that I can't distinguish anyone and it's all just background noise, barely an afterthought. And someone brought up the lack of unique background...

...hum for ships, too. Hell, I pointed out when I did my thread on Discovery season 2 how nice it was that they recreated the sounds for Talos IV on the planet... and now I've realized "Oh, it's because IT ACTUALLY SOUNDS DIFFERENT THAN NORMAL, PROPERLY ALIEN AND UNIQUE."

Anyway, back to actually watching instead of complaining. I need to TRY to give this a chance.

I know it seems like I'm just looking for things to complain about, but I'm a dork about Star Trek and the little things DO bug me (admittedly, super-nitpicky thing here): why do they hold the communicators wrong? Like, who told them to do this?

The gold cover isn't just there for decoration - it's an antenna. Sure, super-future antenna, but it's like holding a gun upside-down. There is no reason to be holding the communicator sideways all the time like they do.

It just makes no sense - you're holding onto the bit that swings around. It's like trying to use your laptop by holding onto the hinge and turning it on its side. It's just... which director decided to do this and they kept doing it?

And that's what keeps frustrating me about these shows - they are SO insecure about looking uncool that they end just end up looking stupid or weird or excessive as a result.

https://twitter.com/Diamandahagan/status/1350185348920442884

Indeed! And that one was more "growing pains because we're using the new movie uniforms and we corrected it afterwards." This is season 3 and they're still holding the communicators wrong.

https://twitter.com/CountKrory/status/1350186169104003086

The explanation for what happened with the Federation is, of course, brief and more just the inciting incident of what occurred and a good mystery for the season going forward, though I can't help but feel they're going to be ripping off Schlock Mercenary for the explanation.

Oh, hey, one of the Mercantile's security guards is a member of Morn's race! That's awesome! =)

Good first episode! Not great, but ends on a nice hopeful note. Really the only thing that bugs me is that, aesthetically and tech-wise, Michael is so mystified by stuff... that's not much more advanced than what she had in the 23rd century. This has really been the big...

...problem with setting Discovery's first two seasons pre-TOS but then having most of the tech be stuff WAY in advance of even TNG-era tech - there's only so much more you can do with extrapolating technology of the future and they refused to just LET TOS tech BE TOS tech, so...

...so holographic displays and stupid CGI sand consoles and personal transporters are not that impressive a leap given what they were utilizing in Discovery already. It's 1000 years in the future, but it might as well be no more than 20 from Discovery's time. It's the major...

...historical events that are different and the overall politics of the galaxy that are of more interest, because we've gone farther in the future than any Trek series has gone before. THAT is the more interesting stuff and what they need to focus on.

God, I love Jet. Jet remains the best character on Discovery.

Her attitude just reminds me so much of Christopher Walken in this scene. It's clear her character DOES care, but she just comes across so tired of all the bullshit that she's just "Eh. Nah."

Episode 2 was really damn good! Some good character moments and really reminds me that we have such great characters here when we're not focused on Michael. And like others have said: the problem is not with Michael as a character or a performer, it's that the writing for the...

...first two seasons was SO focused around her that it can get annoying and tiresome. She needs to be a part of the ensemble and not the main character like the show seems to WANT her to be.

We laid the groundwork for a bunch of potential character arc stuff that I hope we see further explored the rest of the season.

Will get back to it once I get into editing the next episode, need to actually get back to work scripting it, but I'm not looking forward to episode 3, sadly. I HAVE been spoiled on a few things (I know people who can't help but NEED to spoil it) and we'll see if I share...

...those opinions, but we'll see once I actually get to it.

Editing and watching episode 3 now! This is not a problem unique to Discovery, but sometimes things that are meant to look dramatic just look really silly. For instance - Michael describing that every ship that used dilithium crystals suddenly exploded is represented by a...

...large group of ships just sitting in the middle of nowhere all exploding at once. It's not meant to be taken literally, it's not like a bunch of ships were just sitting there waiting to explode, but it just comes across as goofy when shown like that. The next bit...

...shows her doing a combat training hologram in a slow-motion fight... and this one especially is a problem with ALL of fiction - SLOW MOTION PUNCHING PEOPLE'S FACES WILL ALWAYS, ALWAYS, ALWAYS LOOK DUMB.

People in the middle of being punched look ridiculous. Slowing it down feels more like a parody. I'm reminded especially of the quintessential time it's been used - in Matrix: Revolutions.

Obviously Discovery's is not THAT silly looking, but the fact that anyone looks at that kind of thing and doesn't laugh their ass off and say "Yeah, we're not using that" is a problem.

On less silly notes, Michael describes that people tried to come up with alternative methods of warp drive, but none really worked... but I'm raising an eyebrow for two things - Book in the first episode listed off a couple of different drives his ship had, including...

...Quantum Slipstream, tech developed during Voyager but they were never able to perfect. Admittedly, in one of the episodes it was utilized they said it needed a new form of dilithium to work properly, but it seems like once they brought the tech back to Starfleet their...

...resources would have helped perfect it and maybe utilize alternative methods of utilization since it didn't use standard dilithium in the first place, but hey - that's not a thing. I'm also curious how Romulan tech may have been different. Sure, by the time of...

...the Burn, the Romulan Empire would be long since gone thanks to the Hobus Supernova (Star Trek Online helped explain the stupidity of Trek 2009's "A star went supernova and destroyed Romulus!" with a better, more detailed explanation of what happened), but Romulans...

...didn't use the same kind of warp drive that Starfleet and a lot of the rest of the galaxy used - their ships were powered by an artificial singularity (basically a miniature, artificially-produced black hole), so I wonder if that design would have yielded something new.

Why was there even a QUESTION of who would be in command of Discovery in Saru's mind? A need for a discussion with Michael on it?

He was second-in-command. He's the Captain now. Michael is a science officer. Just... I am so confused by that moment.

I mean, I know this show is OBSESSED with Michael to the exclusion of the rest of the wonderful cast, but FFS why, in any reality, would Saru think that she would be in command when they got here?

That makes her an ADVISOR, not a Captain.

You don't put a consultant in command of the ship when you get assigned a specialist to help.

https://twitter.com/Dannysaskwatch/status/1351304431841763328

Anyway episode 3 was good! One of the things I was spoiled on was not for this episode, but it's definitely laying the groundwork. Spoilers ahead, so mute thread by now if you haven't already to avoid.

What I know is that Trill stuff is upcoming that changes a lot of the foundations that DS9 built with the Trill, and this is already laying the groundwork for it. The ENTIRE first episode that introduced the Trill was all about how... no, a human cannot carry a Trill...

...symbiont. Temporarily, sure, but they're just a different species altogether. Now, TO BE FAIR, it's a thousand years in the future - medical science has probably advanced to the point where that's no longer an issue and maybe they'll explain that away as we go on...

...but it feels like it kind of robs the Trill of one the unique things about them and their potential as characters, only just because they didn't want to use their already expansive budget to paint some spots on somebody.

As for the stuff with earth and the changed situation, I quite liked it. I mean, I obviously I don't like the "Earth First" attitude, but it works as both social commentary (if a bit unexplored) AND an interesting development for future Trek history and I like that...

...especially since it points to the continuing problems of humanity and the need to grow beyond our limitations. Despite Roddenberry's protests during TNG that humans were amazing super-duper perfect and never ever do anything bad or wrong, that's just... bad writing...

...and we need to be able to see humanity overcome its problems, as we saw the first step with as they realize their earth-centric attitude screwed over people away from earth they cared about.

Mind you, this does beg the question of why the raiders were wearing masks that...

...concealed their humanity at all, but then we wouldn't have a story.

Also, interesting that earth is still using quantum torpedoes. Sure, definitely more advanced than the TOS era and they rightfully kicked the asses of a TOS-era ship, but you'd think in a thousand years...

...they'd be using stuff even more advanced than transphasic torpedoes that were only 30 years more advanced than Voyager's stuff.

But yeah, good episode, season 3 continues to be enjoyable.

I KNEW that guy sounded familiar! Good to see Todd! =D

https://twitter.com/Zendervai/status/1351318250735353856

OH! Another small thing - this episode SEEMS to answer a small question I've been curious about - roughly when the Trill joined the Federation.

Dax said that she met Leonard McCoy once at a medical conference with one of her previous hosts, plus of course as Curzon she was...

...one of the Federation ambassadors who assisted in creating the alliance with the Klingons, yet in Trials and Tribble-ations she hid her spots as if being a Trill would be unknown to the 23rd century. Since Michael and Saru weren't previously aware of the Trill, this...

...suggests that they weren't a Federation member until AFTER the TOS era (at least not until movie-era or the like) and thus their race isn't as well-known at the time. I could be wrong, of course, it's just been interesting to me because of that little detail.

Still, episode 3 was good so moving onto episode 4 and-

...the fucking astromech repair droid things are back.

For context, I expressed my frustration about this back when I looked at season 2.

For simplicity's sake: FUCK YOU STAR TREK DOES NOT HAVE THESE WE HAD AN ENTIRE EPISODE OF TNG TALKING ABOUT THE CONCEPT AND THEY DIDN'T HAVE THEM IN TOS ERA AAGGGHHH

https://twitter.com/Linkara19/status/1131189310626177024

At this point I'm just not watching it to annoy everyone who asks me to.

https://twitter.com/CJMoore96/status/1351327546621759488

According to behind the scenes, the idea behind why the original TOS Enterprise looked so smooth was because it was designed SPECIFICALLY so that people wouldn't need to do repairwork outside of the ship.

Admittedly, from a practical standpoint that's...

https://twitter.com/Togglejam/status/1351328098403446784

...probably untenable, especially if, say, a big hole got blasted in your ship, so I would imagine a combination of both of those - people in spacesuits doing repairs and then major repairs being done in spacedock.

Anyway, opening log entry has the crew finally realizing, "Hey, maybe jumping into the future and abandoning our lives just for the sake of our SINGLE friend was actually a terrible idea."

Exactly, it's why I'm okay with that choice and why I'm happy they're exploring it. =)

https://twitter.com/TheSaneWhitaker/status/1351330562955378688

See, now here in episode 4 is what I mean when I say the show focuses way, WAY too much on Michael. The Chief Medical Officer says that Michael should go down to Trill in place of him because "She's got emotional problems that need to be handled!"

...What? No. No no no.

This is a medical issue. The Trill symbiont should not even be CAPABLE of being in a human - but hey, again we'll forgive that... but also they should be able to access the symbiont's memories, which they cannot.

That is a medical problem. And even if it WAS an issue of...

...emotional health like this scene is suggesting, Michael is not a counselor, not a therapist, FUCK even this scene says that Michael is having emotional difficulties of her own trying to reconnect with her life (which I'll get back to in a second) and you're sending HER in...

...place of her DOCTOR?!

Hell, even if this WAS a thing, why not BOTH of them go down? Why is this an either/or? The show is bending itself over backwards to try to fit Michael into a part of this story that she has no business being part of. It makes no sense and you could...

...have just had her come along to try to further her study of how the Burn happened thanks to Trill science and the like from the last thousand years, but nope - why have logic when you can have MICHAEL NEEDS TO BE A PART OF EVERYTHING.

But yeah, Michael's character thing this season. It is very, VERY much a "Show, don't tell" issue.

See, they keep saying that because she's been separated from the crew for a year from her perspective, she's a different person. And there ARE very light touches of that...

...emphasis on VERY.

If they didn't comment on it, I wouldn't have even frickin' noticed. She's friendlier and she decorated her quarters more. That's it. And she keeps SAYING she "feels lost! Disconnected!" and all that jazz, but she never comes across that way. The best...

...they try to argue in favor of that is "She did this dangerous plan without consulting Saru on it!"

I recall her pulling that shit all the time. Fuck, THE PILOT EPISODE OF THE SERIES is her pulling that! That is COMPLETELY in character for her!

See, I would be fine with her feeling disconnected with everything, having a difficult time readjusting... but she's not. It seems like no time for her has passed other than "Hey, I'm smiling more! Supposedly!" Stop TELLING us this is happening and SHOW me that it's happening.

Also, this is a minor nitpick (aren't they all in this thread?) but they keep calling the symbiont a squid.

It's a slug.

A slug and a squid are two very different things.

Fuck, the more I think about it, the more I'm annoyed by this: WHY ARE THERE ONLY TWO PEOPLE GOING DOWN THERE?!

Why don't you have a TEAM of people going down to Trill to learn and get more information and doing more and more stuff to better acquaint you all with this time?!

There is a really, really good episode in here BEGGING to be let out but it keeps being weighed down by stupid stuff.

Like, Saru consulting the computer on how to help the crew is fine, the Sphere data (at least I presume that's what's happening) taking over the computer...

...is fine... but Saru not instantly recognizing that something is wrong with the computer in the way it talks to him is not fine.

Having Michael go down to Trill is fine! Not having the CMO go down is not fine. Having only two people go down is not fine. The Trill leadership...

...having a problem with a human carrying a symbiont is fine! Having there be debate about it is fine!

Not being at all interested in what the hell is happening and trying to access the memories and just telling them to leave is not fine.

Having the two suddenly taking some backwoods path or something to get back to the shuttle so they can be ambushed is not fine.

The dude who wants to forcibly separate the two is fine. Him having guards that wield some kind of electro-staff that probably would damage the...

...symbiont is not fine.

It's like the show knows that the story NEEDS to go in a certain direction, but is unwilling to put in the work to make it work naturally. It's like the problem with going in with a first draft vs. a more polished script.

There is a good episode...

...in here clawing desperately to get out but it keeps being held up by poor writing.

Oh, and another thing that's been bugging me: WHY. DO. THEY. KEEP. LETTING. GEORGIOU. HANG. OUT. WITH. THEM.

She's here, obviously. They need everyone they've got. But she's the former fascist leader of an evil empire and continually disregards orders and discipline. She is...

...not part of the Bridge crew and is, at best, in an advisory position. Stop giving the evil exile so much power and freedom and make it clear that if she doesn't want to be a part of this crew, she can enjoy the inside of the Brig.

Okay, finished episode 4. Better than I was led to believe, but like I said - a loooot of stupid along the way, especially since Saru recognizes the Sphere Data is part of the computer, but thinks it's something okay and not, you know, a massive security threat and problem.

Also I am frustrated that we spent an entire episode learning about a new character when we still have, like, half a dozen people we know NOTHING about other than their names.

They keep wanting to add on new characters and then keep focusing on Michael. CAN WE PLEASE GET SOME FOCUS EPISODES ON OTHER PEOPLE.

And so then there's some Trill issues here. I'm a LITTLE more lenient about this because, hey, a thousand years have passed, things have changed, but it was a plot point in DS9 to discover that the symbionts are NOT limited and that more people COULD be joined - the process...

...for joining hosts was more about making sure they didn't accidentally let in a serial killer into the process (which they did and it was a big whoopsie that they hushed up). The fear of the symbiosis commission was that they didn't want the symbionts to end up a...

...black market commodity or something like that. The lack of space exploration should really not cut into that process and they should not be happy about sharing more symbionts with other races (which they still don't explain how, biologically, it's happening at all, but hey...

...we could argue that it's a one in a million chance that it worked). I'm also kind of iffy on the psychological part of this, but maybe the biological part is mitigating that. Ezri Dax, who became the Dax host in season 7 of DS9, became a host by chance...

...she didn't WANT to become a host, but it was necessary to save the Dax symbiont's life and it messed her up psychologically for a bit because - shock of all shocks - shoving 7 lifetimes of experience into someone who wasn't ready for it can mess you up. It's possible that...

...the fact that the memories are coming to them slower are helping the process, but it feels like there should be a looooot more confusion and issue for them.

Episode 5! I was a little afraid of this. Because Michael is the main character, I think we're SUPPOSED to be on her side when she expresses her frustration with Starfleet.

Nothing about the admiral's concerns are invalid and frankly it was pie-in-the-sky of them to assume...

...that they'd just be welcomed back with open arms and told to continue as if nothing had happened. These people are a thousand years out of date in technology, sociology, history, and politics. Their story is pretty out there and they Federation is greatly reduced from what...

...it once was, with enemies on all sides ready to pounce. Her saying "The Starfleet I know wouldn't act like this!" is pure bullshit. She's suggesting that Starfleet would just let them knock on their door and say "Hey, we're back and we brought snacks!"

Frankly, it feels like the Admiral was going out of his way to be polite and understanding and, well, more believing of their story than *I* would be.

These people need, like, MONTHS minimum of reeducation and off-duty time to help acclimate them to this new time period...

...and I was already spoiled that they're not going to get it - nor that Starfleet isn't going to fucking TAKE DISCOVERY APART PIECE BY PIECE to try to adapt the spore drive technology even though THAT'S EXACTLY WHAT THEY SHOULD BE DOING. You suddenly have the greatest...

...technological edge in the galaxy - dilithium is no longer a factor for FTL travel. You can actually start reestablishing contact with everyone, outfit the remainder of the fleet with a technology that no one else has. Sure, study it so you can also provide a...

...defense against it because chances are SOMEBODY will get that same tech now that it's there (I again think of Schlock Mercenary and teraporting/teraport interdiction fields), but the idea that they'd just send them off on their merry way to do missions and all as if...

...nothing has happened is ridiculous and Michael should know that.

Glad Saru knocked down the plan to just steal information from Starfleet.

Back to watching after dinner. Jet is so awesome she can demand snacks for her debriefing and they'll give them to her.

That being said, I don't really know how I feel about the debriefing scene basically being lifted from Archer.

...Holy shit, why is David Cronenberg in this episode?

I am not making a joke - David Cronenberg is acting in this episode.

I'm pretty sure he's playing the same character he was in Jason X.

Also: holy shit David Cronenberg was in Jason X. What the hell was up with that?

https://twitter.com/Dannysaskwatch/status/1351404470056460289

Oh my God, David Cronenberg is fucking with Georgiou and I am all for it.

They've approved like fifty gajillion Star Trek series, give me one where it's just David Cronenberg interviewing people and making them squirm.

Okay, this episode is really showing off a good example of "Michael is the center of the universe" on a micro level.

The macro level is stuff like her mother being linked to the red angel/time travel stuff, her causing the Klingon/Federation war, being a central figure in the...

...mirror universe, that sort of thing (although admittedly that last one was partially due to manipulation by Lorca).

The micro level is where the narrative keeps shoving her into places she shouldn't. We saw that last episode with the Trill - her being the sole person...

...to accompany Adira down. Here, we have a situation where Nhan should be the focus - it's her species, she hasn't seen them in forever, we get some minor character development for her... but instead of having her be the one to talk to the lead scientist into helping...

...it's MICHAEL who does so. Michael, who knows nothing about this person or his race or how they view death and etc., etc.

They shape the show around her being the only one who should be involved in important events, the only one who can resolve crises, the only one who...

...actually MATTERS to anything happening. Admittedly, I'm not done with the episode yet, but the fact that Culber says that only she can talk him out of it is just ridiculous and like I said - it's making Michael the center of everything.

I do not HATE Michael. I'm reminded of Seven of Nine over on Voyager - she's a phenomenal character, wonderfully performed, and it was great to have her on the show.

But the writers liked her too much, as well - rewriting plots on the show to be about her instead of others...

...shifting focus AWAY from the ensemble because she became their pet favorite, the one they could do more interesting stuff with. Or, for a non-Trek example - Tommy on Power Rangers. Everyone places so much importance on him because he's the most popular - the one everyone...

...likes, basically getting the lion's share of focus and character development, to the detriment of everyone else.

So it's not that we HATE them, we're just sick of them because we're not given a chance to MISS them.

Episode 5 was overall good, but yeah, I had numerous complaints. It's funny also how things that would be the entire focus of an episode are sometimes just, like, resolved in five minutes on this show - the Barzan scientist stuck in a transporter beam...

...in an almost ghostly form would be the entire point of an episode in any other series, but they're trying to focus more on character stuff... which would be fine if any other character were allowed to do development.

I kid, for the most part, because we HAVE had character...

...development for some of the cast. However, we're supposed to feel something for Nhan leaving in this episode and a tearful goodbye between her and Michael... but much Airiam in season 2... SHE'S BARELY BEEN A CHARACTER.

She appeared with Pike, was in the Airiam death episode, and then in the finale she and Georgiou did kung-fu fighting against Control. That's it. That's all she's had.

If this had been Tilly or Stametz or anyone else, I'd have bought the tearful goodbye, but she's basically...

...been a non-entity during her time here. It just rings hollow.

Also: WHY. WHY. WHY. WHY ARE YOU SENDING DISCOVERY OUT ON MISSIONS?!

Give these people shore leave for three months to learn about the last thousand years while upgrading the TOS tech up to the new standards! You don't even have to show it on-screen - a montage at worst, you can just open the next episode with "Well, it's been three months...

...do you feel you're more acquainted with this time?" "Sure do!" BOOM, done. Hell, if you're going to send them out on missions instead of trying to replicate the spore drive, AT LEAST assign someone to Discovery to act as an advisor to them on the current state of affairs!

Michael should not even BE the first officer in this situation - a current Commander to act as Discovery's first officer to ensure they don't accidentally cause an interstellar incident because... I don't know, Klingons are a part of the Federation now but they don't know that...

...and accidentally fire on them! Or they come across a Borg cube, don't know anything about them, and end up accidentally assimilated!

JUST GIVE THEM SOME KIND OF HELP.

Discovery COULD BE so much more than it is, but it keeps tripping over itself because it's more concerned with KEWL MYSTERIES! instead of SENSE.

I don't give a shit why a lullaby appears in two different cultures. FFS, Babylon 5 did that as a JOKE.

The Burn is a fine enough mystery that doesn't even NEED to be solved this season! We don't NEED a season-long arc when the arc can just be "We're strangers in a strange time and need to learn how the universe works now!"

https://twitter.com/JSPartisan/status/1351426443977359360

Oh, goodie! Episode 6 opens with a time skip to-

...Oh. Three weeks.

Not even a whole month.

Yeah, that's... That's enough time to get acquainted with a thousand years of history. I mean, you can finish up all the major events from Kirk's time through the Dominion War...

...in just, like, a day or two, I'm sure, when dealing with a massive interstellar federation, including major players who weren't even around at the time like the Ferengi, the Borg, the Cardassians... sure, sure.

Also: detached nacelles are just dumb fight me.

"The interface is adaptive to best suit your individual needs."

Okay, so... what if I just want... switches and buttons?

Seems like switches and buttons would be less expensive for this show.

This is what I mean - just think how much history there is in a thousand years on just ONE planet - now multiply that with interstellar relations across hundreds of races.

Obviously they don't need EVERYTHING, but the Dominion War itself caused massive...

https://twitter.com/Phrancq/status/1351430548229537794

...political shifts across the quadrant, the Hobus Supernova that destroyed the Romulan Empire, and all this assumes that Star Trek Online's events didn't happen and that included the frickin' ICONIANS coming back.

The Temporal Cold War, the ACTUAL Temporal Wars that apparently occurred, new technologies and how they impacted things, and apparently there was a crossover with the mirror universe 500 years prior so THAT was probably a thing.

But yeah, these weird-ass interfaces they use.

I once again must defer to Professor Crow T. Robot on this: "Just because it's futuristic doesn't mean it's practical."

Give me buttons and switches any day. I already hate touchscreen interfaces, so I just know I'd frickin' hate their "programmable matter" whatevers they use in the future.

Also: isn't "programmable matter" just another word for "Replicators?"

Man, what did David Cronenberg do to Georgiou that made her start having PTSD flashbacks?

"She hacked off his antennae and made him put those devices on people!"

...Yeah, but... the antennae grow back. That was established in Enterprise. It takes a while, but they DO grow back, so it's not like hacking off an arm.

Episode 6 was genuinely good. Good character moments, good action, good resolution. Michael should not be the first officer. Hell, I'd argue she probably shouldn't even be in Starfleet at a certain point (it's clear that while she believes in the ideals of Starfleet, she...

...doesn't have the discipline for it) and would probably work better as a courier or free agent. At the very least, I don't know if she's really suited for these kind of regular duties. She was in prison for a while, Lorca gave her a wide latitude because of all that...

...baggage, and Pike gave her slightly LESS latitude, but then again she wasn't his XO and wanted her to find answers for Spock. Add on another year separated from the others and she's just not a traditional officer anymore, and their mission calls for traditional officers.

I think what makes me happy about it is CONSEQUENCES. Starfleet tends to accept an ends justify the means kind of thing as long as the ends truly DO result in saved lives (for instance, Kirk's crimes were mostly forgiven because he saved earth from the whale probe), but he...

...still faced SOME punishment - demotion. It's not exactly being thrown in the brig for the rest of his life, but it WAS a punishment and consequences happened. A lot of times, Trek lets characters get away with bending or breaking rules as long as there's a net positive...

...but they rarely punish the action with even a slap on the wrist, so I appreciate when it DOES happen.

But yeah, good episode, detachable nacelles are dumb, guessing we haven't seen the last (or even first) of this Osira person.

*Sees next episode title: Unification III.*

*Sigh*

Okay, we're doing this.

HUMANITY: *Leaves Federation*
ANDORIANS: *Leaves Federation*
VULCANS: *Leaves Federation*
TELLARAITES: *Probably left Federation*

ALPHA-CENTAURANS: MWAHAHAHAHA! OUR TIME HAS COME!

Also: I really, really, REALLY appreciate we didn't get a "Previously on Star Trek: The Next Generation" bit like they did when they revisited Talos IV in season 2 because I don't know if I could stand cardboard cut-out flip-effects of Picard and Spock and stuff.

This was part of the beginning of the Discovery episode. They seriously did this.

That jarring transition from 60s Trek to Discovery is just awful, not helped by reminding you "Oh, yeah, this doesn't look like TOS or even PRE-TOS like the Cage was."

And conversely, here's how Doctor Who handled a similar thing... and so much friggin' better.

So yeah -really, REALLY happy they didn't try to do that with "Unification III."

Okay, it's good to see PROPER Spock in this clip and reminding us of how good Unification WAS as an episode of TNG, and the dramatic music and all really does fit..

But... uhhh... was Picard just carrying a camera on him that whole time?

"Ah, Captain Picard and the Android I have learned to respect in battle. I- ...Picard, what is that?"
"Hmmm? Oh, don't mind this, Sela. I just brought my GoPro. I mean, when's the next time I'll get to be on Romulus, right?"

I KNOW, RIGHT?!

https://twitter.com/SomeGeekTalking/status/1351454949033480193

People are suggesting that the combadge functioned as a camera, but... NOPE!

While they probably SHOULD work like that, they do not - if they did, many, MANY episodes' plots would be over in five minutes.

Like, they were mystified when trying to attach a signal booster to Geordi's visor so they could see what he sees in all its UV-light or whatever filtered glory.

Star Trek predicted a lot of technology, but tiny cameras was not one of them.

You know what?

That's plausible! I buy that. I accept that explanation.

https://twitter.com/Abstruse/status/1351456584732434434

Uhhh... no. Saru, no. I like Tilly - love the character... but she is an Ensign only a couple years out of the academy. She is not in the correct spot to be the first officer, even if you say it's a temporary position.

AGAIN, JUST GET SOMEONE FROM STARFLEET.

I mean, this show LOVES introducing new characters, so introduce one!

Also, why are they still wearing the blue uniforms?

They're a part of modern Starfleet now. Shouldn't they look the part? Voyager had the excuse of limited replicator resources and no real NEED to swap out to First Contact-era uniforms, but that's not an issue here.

And don't get me wrong - I'm not really THAT fond of the future uniforms, either, but still.

Okay, finished.

There is absolutely no reason to call this Unification III. Fuck you, Discovery.

The episode itself is good. While I'm not sold on Tilly as first officer, they write it in a way as to make it (or at least TRY) to make it believable and really just reminds us that Saru is a frickin' great Captain. Hell, all the Saru scenes in this one are great.

The Michael stuff... well, as I said, this whole "I don't know if I fit in here anymore!" stuff was just badly botched. If she was isolating herself from the crew, not hanging out with them, not still being friendly, then MAYBE I could buy it, but no - she has acted no...

...differently in my eyes - hell, even her advocate pointed out that her character has not actually changed like it should have.

Speaking of, points for making sure the Picard thing with the absolute candor thingamabob is not just a one-off thing for them. If you're going...

...to establish new lore, be consistent about it, at least, and I appreciate that.

But yeah, calling this "Unification III" is horseshit and a transparent attempt at fanservice and badly done at that. Romulan/Vulcan relations are more of a backdrop than anything else.

Including a clip or two of Spock from Unification does not make this part 3. This is a character story about Michael that slots in nicely with the ongoing storyline. That's it.

This is one of those things that's making me grind my teeth about modern Trek - this desperate...

...almost fanficcy need to try to convince us it's Trek by including references to Trek lore.

Not by adhering to Trek themes or sticking to the actual aesthetics of Trek or anything like that... but shoving in references.

And hey, I'm a massive Trek nerd. I can spit out...

...inane bits of trivia like the best of 'em. But that doesn't give you authenticity. UNDERSTANDING Star Trek is what makes you Trek. Enterprise got great when it actually started to BE about Star Trek instead of just some idiot tourists screwing up across the galaxy. Voyager...

...was at its best when it was actually trying to speak to the ideals of Star Trek and at its worst when it was just generic action schlock. Star Trek Beyond became the best of the Kelvinverse movies by actually trying to BE Star Trek and not emulate Star Trek, even speaking...

...to whether the entire concept of the exploration of the final frontier is doomed or just as easy to get lost out there.

And Discovery season 3 has been its best so far because it's trying to appeal to the best qualities of what the Federation stands for. I know I'm...

...complaining A LOT about things this season, but that's because I'm a nitpicky bastard and things easily annoy me. And yet as I keep saying with almost every one of these episodes I'm watching... I'm overall LIKING this season so far, imperfect as it is.

Detached remain dumb.

Just... wouldn't it be more convenient to just KEEP the nacelles attached? I'm just saying.

Onto the next episode!

Sooo it feels kinda weird that Adira would be uncomfortable declaring they're nonbinary to Stamets. While admittedly TOS and TNG-era Trek had a problem with a very cishet mindset, part of that is just the problem of the culture around it at the time...

...when even TNG Trek WANTED to do an episode about Gay crewmembers (admittedly, probably would have been awful, but I applaud the attempt) and it took until Discovery to actually have LGBT representation that wasn't part of the eeeeevil Mirror Universe, but the impression we...

...got of the future was that it was ALREADY LGBT+ friendly. I would HOPE that in the 930 years since the TOS era they'd be just as if not more progressive by that point, so as coming out as nonbinary wouldn't even be a source of discomfort for them, it'd just be "Oh, by the...

...way my pronouns are they/them. I never really felt like a 'she.'" "Cool, got it."

There comes a point, though, where "real" is... not realistic for THIS UNIVERSE. Star Trek is not just "Society as it is now, but with more advanced tech." The society of Star Trek is DIFFERENT and supposedly BETTER than now.

https://twitter.com/Gristle_McNerd/status/1351494605670330369

I mean, remember: even by the TOS era is was a moneyless society.

https://twitter.com/GewuerzwieseI/status/1351495244521508866

"They're firing down photon torpedoes."

Uhhhh... then everyone in the immediate area should be atomized by the antimatter warheads.

Episode 8 is done. This is, IMHO, the worst episode of the season so far. Not because it's terribly written or the science is bad or anything like that... it's that I do not care about Cleveland Book. At all.

He is boring. He is lame. He exists because we can't go a season...

...without Michael having a boyfriend, I guess. And the episode is all about him and his boring empathic hippie people who Dr. Dolittle with animals and stuff. The good parts were Stamets and Culbur pretty much adopting their little enby genius and Keyla working through her...

...issues a bit, which has been frankly the most interesting subplot IMHO because it's very human.

Also I guess you can turn off the stop CGI controls and pilot a ship with joycons or wiimotes or something, so that's neat.

David Cronenberg is back to tell us about body horror and mutation as a result of time travel AND crossing dimensions! Neato!

Also, neat reference simultaneously to the start of the Kelvin timeline AND the Temporal Cold War.

So the Empress has traveled through a doorway (yes, I know what it actually is - my family spoiled this one for me) and is now in her past, the day Lorca and her Michael betrayed her.

"If my Michael sees me as weak, I shall prove that I am not so."

And now, Empress, you shall don the silliest of crowns!

Heavy lies the head that wears the crown... because it's a big halo of metal sticking up in the air with a bunch of jewels all over it.

"There. Sure glad I don't look stupid in this."

I feel like a Burger King birthday crown would have more dignity.

I mean, just... you have the cool robe, the cape... and then you put THAT on top. Thing looks like it's going to fall over as soon as she takes a single step.

Still, despite it KIND OF being a retcon, I do love the Terran Empire uniforms here. They look like a proper fascist state now and the gold and black outfits are sharp. At the end of "Mirror, Mirror" Kirk described Mirror Kirk as a bit of a pirate, and that's really what...

...describes the original Mirror Universe uniforms - they're basically Starfleet pirate attire, not a uniform. I think it's safe to assume that after Georgiou's fall from power in season 1, the Empire descended a bit into a slightly more barbaric state. Still enacting the...

...fascist policies, but looser dress code and freedom for ships, hence the pirate outfits. It's probably what allowed Mirror Spock to eventually rise to power and enact reforms - instead of being a brutal, evil machine like we see under Georgiou, it's a bit more chaotic...

...and allows them to enact reforms that are (theoretically) more beneficial to them until the Alliance comes in.

Hrmmm. Okay, finished Terra Firma.

I have mixed thoughts. First of all, the use of the Guardian is pretty interesting, and I love how they are utilizing the Temporal Cold War stuff to great effect for backstory. I don't know if the story itself holds up THAT well and I'm...

...disappointed we didn't get an appearance from Lorca as a cameo.

Really, my big issue is with Georgiou herself here and their reaction to losing her.

While I CAN believe that she has changed, the degree to which she's changed in this is a little iffy. Her being nice to...

...Tilly and Saru before beaming down is WAY out of character. Maybe if we had some more moments of humanity from her towards them earlier I might have bought it, but she has never been anything but abrasive to them. I can see her freeing the Kelpians as a means of helping...

...herself, but it seems to imply that she was intending to enact MAJOR reforms like that, but ultimately failed before she could do any and that doesn't jive with who she is, either.

The truth is she's still a brutal fascist and wanted power and influence while getting her...

...hands dirty. And the end everyone toasting and laughing and celebrating are forgetting that she was a brutal friggin' dictator who ate Kelpians and murdered and tortured people and she had no remorse for that.

See, while I've understood the argument concerning Steven...

...Universe kind of letting a fascist dictatorship off the hook, at least the Diamonds WANTED to change, recognized their past actions were wrong, and were TRYING to do better. Georgiou didn't want any of that. She wanted to rule an empire with Michael. That's it. She was evil...

...through and through and seeing all these people celebrating her and calling her cool and great is just... blegh.

Well, the explanation for the Burn is...

...

...hrrrmmm.

Episode 11 overall is fine, though not helped by Osyrra just being kinda lame as a villain yet outmaneuvering our heroes fairly effectively. The Tilly stuff was good.

The explanation is... what?

...I THINK the idea behind it is... like... people splitting off from the Federation over an accident, blaming each other and refusing to work together when they could have solved it and made sure it never happened again, but I...

...No, this is just dumb. And nonsensical.

People are saying "Well, it could have been worse," but no, no it couldn't have. The only worse explanation would be if it was Michael because of time travel shenanigans and the entire universe revolves around her AGAIN, but this is just dumb.

"The radiation made him in the womb alter how he existed and that's how he's able to blast out energy waves that makes dilithium explode light years away!"

Even if this explanation wasn't fucking ridiculous, how does this fit in thematically with ANYTHING we've done so far in the season?! How does this build on what's come before to get us here?!

NO! No, that doesn't explain ANYTHING! If his little whatever energy wave made him explode dilithium, WHY DIDN'T THE FUCKING DILITHIUM PLANET RIGHT NEXT TO HIM EXPLODE?!

https://twitter.com/arkle/status/1351729277079719936

Disappointment is an UNDERSTATEMENT.

I am FURIOUS about this! BAFFLED by how ANYONE thought this was a good idea!

https://twitter.com/renegadecut/status/1351729749102624768

MAYBE MAYBE MAYBE if we had had SOMETHING thematically to lead us here, and maybe if the guy had powers beyond just BEING A NORMAL FUCKING PERSON WHO HAS STUNTED DEVELOPMENT, like if we had a Charlie X situation or something, MAYBE this would be salvagable... BUT NOPE.

IT EXPANDED OUTWARDS FROM HIM YELLING. IN A WAVE. IN ALL DIRECTIONS.

https://twitter.com/JayFromTheBurgh/status/1351730548654428161

SE-FUCKING-MANTICS.

WHO GIVES A SHIT - EITHER WAY, DILITHIUM PLANET SHOULD NOT EVEN BE A THING IF HE'S WHAT CAUSED IT?!

https://twitter.com/Evilproduct/status/1351730947599855616

So here's an idea that isn't fucking stupid - this season they KEPT bringing up the Temporal Wars and the Temporal Cold War - it's been a recurring element in the background because hey, this takes place after the future depicted in Enterprise. The fact that they actually...

...acknowledged it and recognized "Hey, this is actually kind of a cool thing and we could have it be part of the backstory of the current state of the universe" means that what they COULD have done is make it either the final salvo of the war - the nuclear option by a...

...faction that decided to burn everything and let God sort 'em out, or a faction that wants to REIGNITE the Temporal Cold War - be the only player in town now at this point that has the dilithium and other needed resources to conquer everything, but Discovery has put a...

...wrench in all this with the spore drive, a system of propulsion that doesn't require dilithium that COULD be adapted to other ships given time.

Now we don't need everything to be a war, but it at LEAST would be something we built up throughout the season in the background!

And even THERE I'd probably say it was fucking stupid, but at LEAST Doctor Who usually knows how to tie into this kind of goofiness thematically into a character bit for the main characters!

https://twitter.com/lraszewski/status/1351732583881711617

Would people stop fucking telling me this as if it matters to the explanation for the Burn is SLIGHTLY RADIOACTIVE CHILD YELLED REALLY LOUD?!

https://twitter.com/lraszewski/status/1351732861473320963

And I'd be okay with it being an accident! Just SOMETHING that seems more plausible than this! This is fucking garbage and really speaks to how Discovery does not give a shit about its plot. It doesn't want you to THINK for two goddamn minutes...

https://twitter.com/TrueAddearheart/status/1351733947248603139

...about anything that happens in it - don't think about how character actions don't make sense.

Don't think about the ramifications of something.

Don't think about why something happens.

Don't think about how it doesn't look like Star Trek.

Don't think about continuity.

Don't think about the narrative.

Don't think about the time travel plot.

Don't think about how EVERYTHING revolves around Michael.

Don't think about the secondary characters or their arcs.

Don't think about the fucking magic mushrooms.

JUST DON'T THINK.

That is the ethos of Discovery: JUST DON'T THINK.

I have calmed down a little bit and I will be finishing the season off while editing, but I am done with Discovery after this. They had this wonderful new opportunity for storytelling and establishing this new era and new situation - spend a season on that and let the Burn...

...stuff simmer while they came up with a good payoff to all their buildup, but this wasn't it. I respect the different opinion of others who thought this explanation was fine, but I absolutely despise it.

It does NOT feel like Star Trek to me, for those who have...

...said it's the most Trek thing they've ever done. No. Episodes like Charlie X or Where No Man Has Gone Before were ABOUT those things - exploring the possibilities around it, having philosophical debates about how to handle it and what it says about humanity. Much like...

...how we had the Barzan scientist briefly trapped halfway transported in that one episode basically being an AFTERTHOUGHT instead of the plot, this show is not interested in actually thinking about these questions.

It is a character-driven show first, plot and theme second...

...And character is good - I LIKE the characters overall, but that's not enough for me. It wants you to feel first and think second and I think you can do both and be compelling television - they've done it before time and time again with past Trek series, but that's not what...

...this show is about. It does not want you to think, it ONLY wants you to feel. It cares more about Michael's journey than the journey actually making sense. It cares more about making characters sad than giving a good reason WHY they're sad.

And that is a generalization...

...I admit, because there WERE moments where that stuff worked - Culber coming back from the dead was a satisfying arc. Saru's journey has been a satisfying arc. But the plot arcs? Michael's overfocus? Not wanting the audience to THINK about any of this stuff?

Not wanting to tie character growth TO the plot, have things make sense within this wonderful universe and not just be a crying child that makes dilithium go poof?

No. I'm done after these two episodes. Enjoy it if you do - I am not here to tell you what you should or...

...shouldn't like, I'm just telling you my opinion.

And in my opinion that explanation is shit.

Okay, so actually interesting things are happening in the penultimate episode.
-Die Hard in Space (it happens more frequently than you'd think)
-Osyrra, while her personality up to now has been garbage... has presented a VERY interesting thing here that frankly is a thousand...

...times more intriguing than anything revolving around the stupid explanation for the Burn: she's actually proposing peace.

Now I'm waiting for the other shoe to drop on this (maybe she's fooling the lie-detector hologram), but the idea of actually coming here to...

...negotiate unifying the Federation and the Emerald Chain because they recognize that their empire is fleeting and need to actually build something bigger, with preparations to acknowledge Starfleet's demands in turn, is pretty damn interesting and more of what I wanted from...

...this season - the actual political ramifications of this changed universe.

I still expect her to somehow make this actually be an elaborate trap, but damn if she didn't come here with her homework done. Kudos.

I mean, the REALLY unexpected thing would be if this was all genuine, it's just bizarre that it would be given how these types of things go and the kind of people these are.

God, I really want to like you, season 3, I really, really do but then you give us that fucking...

...explanation for the Burn and I just end up so mad again. Just... why?! Why do we even NEED a season-long arc, especially if THAT was the pay-off?

Why are you so allergic to episodic television - the stuff that made Star Trek popular to begin with? DS9 ended serialized...

...but some of its best episodes were the stand-alones. And when they DID do serialization, they recognized "Hey, we need to make the pay-off worth the journey."

Urgh, it's just so frustrating.

And THERE'S the other shoe, and honestly it's believable - selfishness and ego. She's genuine about wanting peace, wanting to do all these things to unite with the Federation... but she's unwilling to commit to personal sacrifice for it, because for her it's not about the...

...good of others, it's just another opportunity for power/advancement/long-term planning and scheming. She KNOWS about the greater ideals, understands why others fight for them... but she's not actually in favor of them herself or else she'd be willing to stand trial for her...

...crimes. And honestly, it's arguable whether this is the right call, if it's okay to let ONE bad person off the hook for the greater good. Needs of the Many vs. Needs of the Few, whether ethics are worth people's lives. THIS is Trek. THIS is good stuff, especially if they...

...show the Admiral struggling with this decision later. One of Voyager's best episodes is when Janeway, who for years maintained that her purported Starfleet ethics were more important than the lives of her crew, finally had to sit down and realize, "...Fuck, maybe I made...

...a terrible mistake."